I remember feeling very sad at this cynical viewpoint, and I told her so. I went on to explain, that while the body certainly ages, virtue never does. I told her that what men and women alike are really seeking is someone of virtue, not some perfect physical specimen. A person who lives their life guided by timeless virtues like honesty, integrity, commitment, self-control, respect, kindness, and selflessness, is a rare person indeed. This is what makes them so attractive. And virtuous people always attract other virtuous people.

Physically attractive people are everywhere, virtuous people are not. Without virtue, all that you will have left as you age is wrinkles. Live a life of virtue and you will remain vibrant and attractive no matter how old you get.

Make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue… – 2 Peter 1:5 

Originally posted 2014-08-01 06:00:23.

After my divorce, I remember scouring the Catechism for information regarding dating and relationships. Frankly, I was looking for a loophole that would allow me to pursue intimate relationships. I rationalized that since I was divorced, there must be certain exemptions for me. I wanted to date again, and I wanted to be intimate. After all, I was now “single” and everyone was telling me this was my ticket to happiness and fulfillment. To my dismay, I didn’t find any loopholes. Instead, I found passages regarding chastity. My reaction was one of disbelief. I recall thinking: “Who is the Church kidding? They are so out of touch with the world today. Chastity is such a medieval concept.” I discarded it and went on my merry way.

After a year of heading down my unchaste path, I realized that it brought me just the opposite of what I expected: emptiness and regret. At this point, I knew I had to make a change in my life–and did I ever! After much soul-searching, I decided to live my faith fully and I committed to a chaste life. It was a huge decision that I was very scared to make. Thank God I did. It was the best decision I ever made. Not only did I gain a tremendous sense of peace in my life, but that one decision made every decision after that align my life closer and closer with God’s will. God’s abundant blessings began to pour into my life. Years later as I reflect back on that difficult decision, I am blown away by God’s incredible plan for me. One I would have totally missed if I continued to follow my plan. Choosing to live my faith was the difference that made all the difference.

Chastity includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery which is a training in human freedom. The alternative is clear: either man governs his passions and finds peace, or he lets himself be dominated by them and becomes unhappy. – Catechism of the Catholic Church 2339

Originally posted 2014-10-08 06:00:01.

The next day, the 140 kids that were in the youth group at his parish gave him an ordination gift. It was a St. Christopher medal. On the back was an inscription that read:

October 15, 1988
Congratulations!
We Love you,
Larry’s Kids

Fr. Larry was dumbfounded. God heard his cry and gave him over 140 kids for him to love and look after! This story underscores the lesson that we can never outdo God in generosity. He knows the deepest yearnings of our heart. When we struggle and suffer to be faithful and do His will, He will bless us more abundantly than we can ever imagine.

If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him! – Matthew 7:11

Originally posted 2014-10-01 06:00:39.

At our house we have a standing requirement that all the kids’ cell phones stay in the kitchen when they go to bed. Boy, how the kids hate this rule! They make every excuse in the book as to why they need their cell phones in their bedroom at night. My favorite one is: “I must have my cell phone at night because I use it as an alarm clock, and if I don’t have my phone, I won’t wake up.” Like a good old fashioned alarm clock (which they have) won’t work? Hmmm…. Of course the kids see this as a very oppressive rule drastically limiting their freedom. What they can’t see is that, while this rule is restrictive, its intent really is to help them. As their parents, we know it helps them avoid the temptation of texting their friends all hours of the night, playing games, and, in general, being distracted from getting a good night’s sleep–something critical for them to perform at their best the next day. What they see as oppressive is at its heart actually very helpful. And, while contrary to what my kids might think, this rule was created out of love for them. A love that only desires what is best for them, even if they don’t understand it or see it that way.

When you read the Catechism of our Catholic faith, you will certainly see that our faith also has many clearly defined requirements, guidelines, and, well, I guess you can call them, “rules.” Catholics seem to have a rule for everything. While these rules can be comforting, and give you trusted guidance as you navigate through life, they can also seem oppressive and punitive. This is especially true when you experience divorce. Suddenly, you have to abide by a set of doctrines that are unknown, unfamiliar, and might even seem downright unfair. This can add insult to injury, just at the time in your life when what you need more than anything is acceptance, encouragement, and support.

When you are feeling the burden of living your Catholic faith, try and look at it from a parent’s perspective. Pray for the wisdom to see past the rules and to understand the underlying abundant love your Heavenly Father has for you. A love that only wants what is best for you. A love that is made concrete by living your Catholic faith fully, even though it may be very difficult to do sometimes. Your Heavenly Father does not want to punish you with a bunch of rules; He wants to lead you to a life of abundance.

“If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give…” – Luke 11:13

Originally posted 2014-10-21 06:00:15.

“It had been more than fifteen years since I had been to confession.” Steve reluctantly revealed to the group during a Divorced Catholic session. He went on to tell us how he finally worked up the courage to get in line one day after Mass and go. It was a huge milestone for him. While he was really nervous before going into the confessional, he emerged with an overwhelming feeling of joy and peace. “I walked out of there feeling light as a feather. And you know what, I am looking forward to going again!” Steve added.

Steve’s excitement for having rediscovered the Sacrament of Confession was palpable. Christ himself taught us that Heaven erupts with joy when we humble ourselves to admit our sins and promise to do our best to avoid sinning again. In other words, Heaven has a good ole-fashioned throw-down. I imagine the angels and saints cheering and giving each other high-fives each time one of us exits the confessional. It’s no wonder Steve felt great. His soul, unencumbered by sin and awash in supernatural grace, reverberated with the same holiness shared by the angels and saints. For that moment, he was one with them. You can be too. No matter how long it has been since you have been to confession, all of Heaven waits with joyful anticipation for you to return to the loving, merciful arms of our Savior. Now, go and give them something to celebrate!

“In just the same way, I tell you, there will be rejoicing among the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” – Luke 15:10

Originally posted 2014-11-12 06:00:04.

Yes, it pains me to admit, I am old enough to remember when the first Star Wars movie came out–plenty old enough. (I was a junior in high school.) One of the most memorable scenes in the movie was when young Luke Skywalker was being trained to use a powerful weapon, the lightsaber. He kept missing the targets that were flying at him. Becoming very frustrated, he asks his instructor, Obi Wan Kenobi, for help. The wise Obi Wan tells Luke to stop relying on his own skill and to “trust the Force.” The Force is this energy field that can be tapped into to perform feats far beyond one’s ability. With much hesitation, and a few failures, Luke finally is able to let go of his desire to control the lightsaber and allow the Force to aid him. After that, he never misses another target and becomes an expert with the lightsaber.

The above scene is a great illustration for how God works in our lives. When we don’t trust God, we are limited to our own earthly abilities. If we allow ourselves to trust Him, we create a space that allows Him to work through us to accomplish great things; things we could never have done on our own. Like Luke, our first step is to let go of our own desire to control and trust God. For many of us who have found our security and surety in being in control, it can be a difficult step to take. However, if we are ever to reach our full purpose and potential, we must learn to trust. When we do, we become a channel for God’s incredible power and love and nothing can stop us.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
on your own intelligence do not rely;
In all your ways be mindful of him,
and he will make straight your paths. – Proverbs 3:5-6

Originally posted 2014-05-02 06:00:54.

From your desired college, to your employer, to the mortgage company, to your tennis team, it seems you are always having to convince others that you are worthy, that you should be accepted. Not so with Jesus. He loved you first, and there is nothing you need to do to keep His love; nor is there anything you can ever do that will stop Him from loving you. With Jesus you don’t have to prove your worth; you are already worthy. You don’t have to meet certain criteria; you already do. There is no application process to go through; you are already accepted. Take great comfort in this, and let Jesus be your source of acceptance and approval instead of a world that so often tells you that you are not good enough. With Jesus, you are always pre-approved!

“Everything that the Father gives me will come to me, and I will not reject anyone who comes to me.” – John 6:37

Originally posted 2014-11-07 06:00:18.

One morning I walked into Mass very distracted and anxious. I had many things on my mind: projects due at work, challenges with the kids, financial pressures, dealing with the ex, etc. On top of that, I wasn’t feeling well. It was hard to focus on the Mass. Frankly, I was just going through the motions. After I received the Blessed Sacrament, I was walking back to the pew when I heard it. It was a kind of whisper in my soul that said, “No matter what is going on out there, I am always here.” A feeling of peace flooded over me. Christ was reminding me that, while my life was stressful and unpredictable, His peace was available to me any time I needed it. I could unplug from the craziness of my life simply by coming to Mass. Time could almost stand still. My worries, fears and doubts could be put on hold. The Mass can be the oasis in my desert, a port in my storm. I never forgot it.

Originally posted 2013-11-19 11:00:40.

“Do you have a personal relationship with your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?” shouted the blind, Bible-slapping (literally) preacher who claimed his street corner each day beckoning passersby to salvation. That was the question that challenged me each day as I walked the three blocks in downtown Atlanta between college and work.

At the time, I had no clue what he meant, or even how to go about getting this “relationship.” Years later, as my divorce greatly deepened my faith, I learned that gaining this relationship was really quite straightforward: I simply needed receive the Eucharist.

The Eucharist is so much more than a “door prize” that you receive for going to Mass. It is the way to develop and sustain a deep, personal relationship with the Prince of Peace, the God of the Universe, Jesus Christ.

The more often you receive Christ in the Eucharist, the deeper your relationship with Him will become. He, and all His life-giving, healing graces, will “remain” with you long after the Mass. It is this relationship that is so fundamental to your healing and sustained peace and joy after divorce. Receive the Eucharist as often as you can and come to know a personal relationship with your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Whoever eats my Flesh and drinks my Blood remains in me and I in him. – John 6:56

Originally posted 2016-04-22 15:10:14.

Originally posted 2013-09-25 11:00:53.