As I prayed in thanksgiving for my children, I couldn’t shake a recurring thought. I keep hearing, “precious and good, precious and good,” over and over in my mind. It was as if God put words to the feeling I carried in my heart for my children.

We are all God’s children. While I took the inspiration of “precious and good” as God’s reminder to me of my children, it was also His reminder of how He feels about His children—you and me. He does not focus on our sins and shortcomings. In His sight we are all “precious and good.” Remind yourself of that the next time you are feeling particularly shameful for some sin, or unloved by others. To God, you are always precious and good!

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name: you are mine.
When you pass through waters, I will be with you;
through rivers, you shall not be swept away.
When you walk through fire, you shall not be burned,
nor will flames consume you.” – Isaiah 43:1-2

Originally posted 2014-12-01 06:00:18.

Going through my divorce turned my world upside-down. I suddenly started to question everything in my life. What was true? Who could be trusted? It was like my life was thrust into darkness and I was stumbling around trying to gain my bearings. I would talk to anyone who I thought could help me: friends, family, co-workers–even my hairstylist–trying to get the nuggets of wisdom that would help me make sense of my now senseless life. Heck, I would even tune into Oprah hoping that she would say just the right thing that would end my madness. Sadly, not even Oprah could solve my problems.

Originally posted 2014-08-21 06:00:08.

Originally posted 2014-09-08 06:00:29.

In our Voices of Hope DVD, one of the participants, Marty, says, “If you are afraid, God can’t get to you.” It is a very emotionally charged moment as Marty is recalling his struggles dealing with the pain and suffering during his divorce. Marty is no softy. In fact, he is a big, burly guy. A “man’s man”, if you will. Yet, he is choking back tears as he describes his experience. Fear is that powerful.

Marty makes a very vivid point: fear prevents Christ from working in your life. Fear is one of those emotions that can paralyze you and keep you frozen with despair. It robs you of the trust that is the foundation of faith–the very thing that Christ needs to work miracles. The tiniest whisper of faith can overcome the greatest fear. Christ said in the Gospels over and over, “Do not be afraid.”, for good reason. He knows how fear can build walls around hearts and keep Him at bay. Pray for the grace to trust more. Trust is the key to experiencing Christ’s endless love and mercy.

“Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.” – Matthew 14:27

Originally posted 2014-12-22 06:00:14.

God never intended us to go through any life tragedy, especially one as monumental as divorce, simply relying on our own strength. Yet, so many people do. They either totally ignore God, or are completely ignorant of the promise He has made to always help them through difficult times (Hebrews 13:6). Sadly, the world is filled with these weary souls who now resign themselves to a life of hopelessness and pain. The truth is God accompanies us on every twist and turn through life, giving us everything we need to succeed. And the sacraments are the cornerstone of His success plan, especially the Eucharist. Those that have armed themselves with their faith, and strengthened themselves with the Eucharist, have a supernatural advantage in their battle; one that insures them of victory over hardship and despair. How could you not overcome the greatest odds, and be restored to the fullness of life, when you rely on the Creator of the Universe instead of your own wimpy, human self? Give yourself an unfair advantage in the battles life throws at you. Get Christ, unfiltered and undiluted, in the Eucharist, and He will be the source of all the strength you need.

If I am distracted, Holy Communion helps me to become recollected. If opportunities are offered each day to offend my God, I arm myself anew each day for the combat by the reception of the Eucharist. If I am in special need of light and prudence in order to discharge my burdensome duties, I draw nigh to my Savior and seek counsel and light from him. – St. Thomas More

Originally posted 2014-11-18 06:00:26.

The low point in my divorce came on Christmas morning, about two months after my divorce was filed. I actually got a call from my attorney; he wanted to discuss some aspect of my divorce (he didn’t celebrate Christmas since he was Jewish). I remember getting off that call and thinking, “I will be so relieved when this is all over and I can patch my life back together.” Boy, was I setting my sights low!

Overwhelmed with the pain and intensity of my divorce, all I hoped for out of the rest of my life was to be free of emotional pain. I could not imagine anything greater than that. Little did I know, I was aiming far too low. Fortunately, God was aiming high — very high.

While I would have been satisfied simply to slug through the rest of my life, God had much, much greater plans for me. His plans included using my painful experiences to help tens of thousands of divorced Catholics all over the world, and, ultimately, to meet an incredible woman of faith, get married, blend two families into one, and have a total of seven kids, including the gift of our son. Many years later, as I look back on how God’s plan has played out in my life, I am still blown away.

When you are struggling to look into the future and see anything but a life hobbled by divorce, remember that God’s plans are always far greater than anything you can imagine. While you may be willing to settle for mediocrity, God is ready to give you a mind-blowing life filled with an abundance of peace, joy, purpose, and love. All you need to do is ask!

“Therefore I tell you, all that you ask for in prayer, believe that you will receive it and it shall be yours.” – Mark 11:24

Originally posted 2018-06-07 00:30:15.

Recently, I traveled out-of-town to a major American city. Fortunately, there was a Catholic Church within walking distance from my hotel. One morning, I arrived just as Mass was starting and slipped into a side pew. I was struck by two things. First, the incredible beauty of the church. The painted ceilings, marble columns, and stained glass were magnificent and filled me with awe. Second, was the extreme diversity of the people. I was surrounded by rich people, poor people, old people, young people, professionals, blue-collar laborers, blacks, whites, Asians and Hispanics – a real mishmash of people. Despite our differences, we were all sharing equally in God’s greatest expression of love for us: His Son fully present in the Eucharist.

This experience made me think about how God must view divorced Catholics. Each of us has our own story, our own experience, that makes us unique. Yet, God loves us all the same. He doesn’t distinguish between how long we were married, who was at fault, who was more committed to their marriage or their faith, or who suffered more. To Him, we all look the same, and we are all welcome in His House. Remember that the next time you feel a sense of shame about your divorce. We all belong to Him and His Church!

For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. – 1 Corinthians 12:12

Originally posted 2014-12-18 06:00:56.

The Catholic Church is the source of Christ’s truth. While you may not always understand or agree with that truth, it is the truth nonetheless. Because it is of God, the truth has, by its very nature, a healing and comforting aspect to it. Although sometimes difficult, the truth will always lead you to the right place-a place of peace. If you are feeling the desire to distance yourself from the Church, you are moving away from the very thing that will bring you the abundant peace and joy you are seeking. As you reflect and discern the impact of your divorce or separation on the rest of your life, it is best to remain engaged with the Church, her Sacraments, her teaching, and her community. So, go to Mass, go to reconciliation, go to adoration in front of the Blessed Sacrament (if available), seek out (or start) a divorce ministry, stay plugged into your faith and your Church. The Church needs you!

Blessed is the man who does not walk
in the counsel of the wicked,
Nor stand in the way of sinners,
nor sit in company with scoffers.
Rather, the law of the LORD is his joy;
and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted near streams of water,
that yields its fruit in season;
Its leaves never wither; whatever he does prospers.
Psalm 1:1-3

Originally posted 2014-12-26 06:00:32.

As a kid, I can remember watching the old Frankenstein movie, starring Boris Karloff. The part where Frankenstein came to life and sat up with screams of “It’s alive!” from the mad scientist always scared my socks off. Not only was Frankenstein scary looking, his actually coming to life seemed very implausible. It was always a shocker when the impossible became possible.

Like an old movie, we can see Jesus as something from the past. We hear all the stories from the Gospels retold every week. We see pictures, crucifixes, and statues portraying Him. We even see movies about Him. He can easily become just a historical figure who lived 2,000 years ago. After all, His life makes for a great “good overcomes evil” story with the hero conquering certain death. Unlike Frankenstein, Jesus is a true story. Like Frankenstein, Jesus came back to life (and shocked his fair share of people, too!) Fortunately, the story didn’t end there. It continues to unfold every day. You see, Jesus is still alive. He is present in the Eucharist. He is experienced in the Sacraments. He makes Himself known to us when we pray, and through events and other people. He is a living God. Reach out to Him and expect Him to come alive in your life.

Jesus said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” Simon Peter said in reply, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” – Matthew 16:15-16

Originally posted 2015-01-16 06:00:01.

During my divorce I heard all kinds of ridiculous lies about me from my ex’s inner circle. Listening to them, you would have thought I was a maniacal, substance abusing, child beating, deadbeat. Sometimes, I found myself worrying that the judge might actually believe some of those blatant lies. I was in a custody battle and it was very important I demonstrate that I was the parent best suited to raise the children. Any “black mark” could cause me to lose custody. Ultimately, the fate of my kids rested in the hands of the judge.

Not surprisingly, my custody battle was a time of intense prayer. I would bring the latest lie that was circulating about me to the Lord and cry out for help. The light I consistently got was “Rest in the truth.” If I were to lose custody it was going to be because of the truth and not some trumped up lies. The fight for custody became quite intense and we ended up in court. My ex’s attorney attacked me during my cross examination throwing as many lies at me as he could. I was given the graces I needed to tell the truth, even if it might not have been the most favorable to me. The truth became my nuclear weapon that would vaporize the many lies. God lives in truth, and I was staking my kids future on that. In the end, the truth prevailed and I was awarded custody.

When in a situation where people are telling lies about you, it is normal to become very alarmed. Of course you worry that others might actually believe that stuff. Trust that the truth is your most powerful weapon to combat the lies and will shine a bright light in the darkness of deceit.

Blessed are those
who walk hand in hand
with goodness,
who stand beside virtue,
who sit in the seat of truth;
For their delight is in the Spirit of Love,
and in Love’s heart they dwell
day and night.
They are like trees planted by
streams of water,
that yield fruit in due season,
and their leaves flourish;
And in all that they do, they give life.
The unloving are not so;
they are like dandelions which
the wind blows away.
Turning from the Heart of Love
they will know suffering and pain.
They will be isolated from wisdom;
for Love knows the way of truth,
the way of ignorance will perish.

Psalm 1 from Psalms for Praying, by Nan C. Merrill

Originally posted 2014-05-01 06:00:55.