“Ouch!”, my three-year-old daughter cried as I tried to dig the back of her pierced earring out of her earlobe. Evidently, the earrings had been left in her earlobes for too long allowing the backs to close too tightly. While I was keeping calm for her sake, inside I was filled with anxiety. I felt like a loser as a parent, and I beat myself up inside for the oversight. How come I had not noticed this before? How could I let this happen? What kind of parent was I? For days, I felt so guilty for not noticing this sooner.

Life as a single parent can be all consuming. You are the first one up and the last one to bed. Sandwiched in between is a never-ending conveyor of tasks that must be done, many at the same time. It is easy to get distracted in the frenzy of each day. The same thing happens with our faith life. We are consumed by the pressures of life and our many anxieties, fears, and worries. This blinds us to how Jesus is working in our lives. He is walking with us through it all, yet we often don’t even recognize him. If this is you, don’t feel bad. This very same thing happened to the apostles after the resurrection. They too were blinded by their grief and anxiety and failed to recognize Jesus in their midst.

Jesus is just as present to us today as he was to the apostles. Only by taking time to pause from the crush of tasks and emotional stress that consumes us, can we recognize how Jesus is working in our lives, leading, encouraging, and helping us. Make time each day to put the world on hold and pray. When you do, you will then begin to notice all the many ways Jesus is showing up in your daily life. And, like the apostles upon recognizing Jesus, you will be filled with encouragement, courage, and joy.

“…The sheep hear his voice, as he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has driven out all his own, he walks ahead of them, and the sheep follow him, because they recognize his voice.” – John 10:3-4

Originally posted 2014-12-19 06:00:39.

I have a Catholic prayer book that is over one hundred pages long. In  this book there is every imaginable prayer. Prayers you would expect, like prayers for healing, but also some you would not, like prayers for safety during bad weather. Catholics never seem to be at a loss for ready-made prayers. It is not uncommon to think that reciting these types of prayers is what praying is all about. Yet, prayer is so much more.

The focus of prayer is to talk to Christ and to allow Him to guide you. Successful prayer is any activity that helps you be more sensitized to what Christ wants you to know, and your open response back to Him letting him know your deepest needs, fears, and dreams. The result is a relationship with Christ that forms a deep trust. It is this trust that allows you to persevere through difficult times, gives you courage to act, and develop a heart like Christ, allowing you to love others as He loves you.  

“Now this is eternal life, that they should know you, the only true God, and the one whom you sent, Jesus Christ.” – John 17:3  

Originally posted 2014-09-12 06:00:38.

Be ready for the ugliness of legal maneuvering and one-upmanship that divorce proceedings invariably become. It is a fight to the finish, often using any means just to “win.” You will be attacked, rest assured. When it happens, draw courage and strength to withstand the assaults by standing firmly on the rock of God’s promise to protect you from slander and falsehood. He knows the truth and He will use it as a shield of protection that no mortal man can penetrate. Remind yourself that each time one of the arrows of deceit come flying your way.

You have preserved me from the scourge of the slanderous tongue, and from the lips of those who went over to falsehood. You were with me against those who rise up against me; You have rescued me according to your abundant mercy from the snare of those who look for my downfall, and from the power of those who seek my life. – Sirach 51:2-3

Originally posted 2014-10-15 06:00:49.

I have a fiercely independent streak in me. I have come to understand that this is more often a weakness than a strength because it is motivated by my pride. When I was facing a difficult challenge due to my divorce, I tended to focus only on what I could do to overcome it. I often struggled mightily. If only I would have reached out for help more often.

Originally posted 2014-07-16 06:00:51.

The word of the LORD came to me thus:
 Gird your loins;
     stand up and tell them
     all that I command you.
 Be not crushed on their account,
     as though I would leave you crushed before them;
 For it is I this day
     who have made you a fortified city,
 A pillar of iron, a wall of brass,
     against the whole land: 
 Against Judah’s kings and princes,
     against its priests and people.
 They will fight against you, but not prevail over you,
     for I am with you to deliver you, says the Lord.

Originally posted 2014-11-14 06:00:28.

At a recent Recovering from Divorce session, we were discussing the always popular topic of dating and intimacy as a divorced Catholic. There is always a yearning for clarity from the participants on this highly charged, and often controversial, topic.

I was presenting the Church’s teaching on chastity when one of the participants blurted out, “Come on, really?! Does anyone still practice chastity any more?” Her skepticism is understandable. In today’s sexually saturated society, it is easy to believe that being sexually active outside of marriage is as common as brushing your teeth. However, what is equally as common is the disillusionment, regret, and negative consequences that come with living apart from God’s design for our sexuality.

God designed sexual intimacy as a gift for married couples to cooperate in His plan for creating life and to create unity in their marriage. Misuse of this gift will never bring lasting peace and joy. Instead, what tends to occur is a type of slavery. Some people are afraid they will never meet someone unless they are willing to be sexually active. Others are afraid they will have to be celibate the rest of their lives, something they never bargained for. In any case, people are enslaved by their fears. Ultimately, this robs them of hope, resulting in desperate decisions and broken hearts. None of this is God’s plan.

God created all of us to share in His joy and peace here on Earth and perfectly forever in Heaven. We are the ones that tend to mess that up by our actions. The Church’s teaching on chastity, while initially seeming archaic and out-of-touch, is a deep Truth based on 2,000 years of wisdom. The more you live this Truth, the more you are guaranteed to be free from the bondage of fear and to find peace. Pray for the graces you need to trust the Church’s teaching on chastity and the courage to live it. Doing so will bring you more peace than you can imagine, and the freedom to make the right choices in your relationships. I speak from personal experience!

Chastity includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery which is a training in human FREEDOM. The alternative is clear: either man governs his passions and finds PEACE, or he lets himself be dominated by them and becomes unhappy. – Catechism of the Catholic Church: 2339

Originally posted 2014-08-12 06:00:15.

“It had been more than fifteen years since I had been to confession.” Steve reluctantly revealed to the group during a Divorced Catholic session. He went on to tell us how he finally worked up the courage to get in line one day after Mass and go. It was a huge milestone for him. While he was really nervous before going into the confessional, he emerged with an overwhelming feeling of joy and peace. “I walked out of there feeling light as a feather. And you know what, I am looking forward to going again!” Steve added.

Steve’s excitement for having rediscovered the Sacrament of Confession was palpable. Christ himself taught us that Heaven erupts with joy when we humble ourselves to admit our sins and promise to do our best to avoid sinning again. In other words, Heaven has a good ole-fashioned throw-down. I imagine the angels and saints cheering and giving each other high-fives each time one of us exits the confessional. It’s no wonder Steve felt great. His soul, unencumbered by sin and awash in supernatural grace, reverberated with the same holiness shared by the angels and saints. For that moment, he was one with them. You can be too. No matter how long it has been since you have been to confession, all of Heaven waits with joyful anticipation for you to return to the loving, merciful arms of our Savior. Now, go and give them something to celebrate!

“In just the same way, I tell you, there will be rejoicing among the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” – Luke 15:10

Originally posted 2014-11-12 06:00:04.

Eleventh Station: Jesus is Nailed to the Cross

Meditation: Christ, you lived in the truth and were nailed to a cross because of it. The crowd preferred to live in darkness surrounded by lies and fueled by hatred. I am so tired of living in darkness. I’m tired of all of the lies and hatred that swirl around me as I see my marriage fall apart. I am going to nail every lie to your cross and plead for the grace to live in the truth. I will no longer accept lies and deception in my life. You are the Way, the Truth and the Life, Jesus. Give me the courage that it takes to live an authentic life as you did.

Be the source of my strength, that in you I will have strength for everything.

Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God. – 2Corinthians 4:2

Originally posted 2014-03-21 11:00:59.