Recently, a woman shared a story with me about how she had to deal with a very tense situation with her former husband. She explained how she had to wait in line with him for over an hour to get a utility bill changed into her name. He was not making it any easier on her by being very impatient and unpleasant. By the time they got to the window, her former spouse became more obnoxious, making the situation extremely uncomfortable for her and the account representative. During this entire time, she kept her cool. When everything was completed, and her former spouse had left, the account rep complimented this woman on how well she had handled this very difficult situation. Clearly, her patience, self-restraint, and dare I say, charity, spoke volumes.

The woman could have pulled the rip-cord on the entire situation by refusing to deal with her former spouse. But she didn’t. She pressed on, and in doing so, allowed God to bless her and the people around her. So often, we want to cut and run from difficult situations instead of allowing God to bless us in these moments. God only works in the present moment. By being open to how He is working in each moment, even the very trying ones, gives us the opportunity to receive His blessings. This willingness to endure allows blessings to flow and ultimately shared by all involved–even obnoxious former spouses.

Make me a channel of your peace. – Prayer of St. Francis

Originally posted 2014-03-20 11:00:22.

Recently, a woman shared a story with me about how she had to deal with a very tense situation with her former husband. She explained how she had to wait in line with him for over an hour to get a utility bill changed into her name. He was not making it any easier on her by being very impatient and unpleasant. By the time they got to the window, her former spouse became more obnoxious, making the situation extremely uncomfortable for her and the account representative. During this entire time, she kept her cool. When everything was completed, and her former spouse had left, the account rep complimented this woman on how well she had handled this very difficult situation. Clearly, her patience, self restraint, and dare I say, charity, spoke volumes.

The woman could have pulled the rip-cord on the entire situation by refusing to deal with her former spouse. But she didn’t. She pressed on, and in doing so, allowed God to bless her and the people around her. So often, we want to cut and run from difficult situations instead of allowing God to bless us in these moments. God only works in the present moment. By being open to how He is working in each moment, even the very trying ones, gives us the opportunity to receive His blessings. This willingness to endure allows blessings to flow and ultimately shared by all involved–even obnoxious former spouses.

Make me a channel of your peace. – Prayer of St. Francis

Originally posted 2014-10-06 06:00:49.

My first Thanksgiving was so difficult. My divorce was in full swing and my world was crumbling. Frankly, I did not have a thankful attitude. What did I have to be thankful for? Everything in my world was being ripped away from me.

Fast forward thirteen years, and here is what I have learned: the most important things in life, no one, and nothing, can take away from you. Your health, the love of your family, your education, your faith, your heritage, the love of God, your ability to give and to love, and God’s purpose, are all things that are yours no matter what. In the midst of your personal storm, take a moment to reflect on these things. It will fill you with gratitude and remind you how blessed you really are, giving you hope and strength to endure even the most difficult times.

O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
his steadfast love endures for ever! – Psalm 118:1

Originally posted 2014-11-26 06:00:29.

When people encounter a painful situation, they make one of two subconscious choices. They either stay and work through the situation, or they run from it. It is called “fight or flight.” Our society today is wired toward instant gratification. The underlying message promoted is anything that is going to take too long, or hurt too much, is considered bad and should be avoided. This conditions people to run (“flight”) from pain. All the above true stories are, at their core, examples of people who were running from the painful reality brought into their lives by divorce. It seemed easier, and less painful, to leave their problems behind by entering into a new marriage, or leaving town, or assuming a new identity. In the end, they all created more pain for themselves and their families–the very thing they were seeking to avoid.

Had these people placed their trust in God first, they would have been given the graces needed to patiently endure the painful difficulties. Working through the difficulty would have given God the opportunity to change them, heal them, and improve them. From the experience would have come a better perspective. This perspective would have helped them realize that God is with them always and has a unique and noble purpose for their lives. Instead, they pushed the eject button and short-circuited God’s great plan. When overwhelmed with the pain and difficulty of divorce, don’t run. Instead, turn to God, ask for the courage to endure, and trust He will deliver. It is the only way to lasting peace.

Wait on God, with patience, cling to him, forsake him not; thus will you be wise in all your ways. Accept whatever befalls you, when sorrowful, be steadfast, and in crushing misfortune be patient; For in fire gold and silver are tested, and worthy people in the crucible of humiliation. Trust God and God will help you; trust in him, and he will direct your way. – Sirach 2:2-6

Originally posted 2014-12-02 06:00:21.