Vince Fresefear – Vince Frese

Too Cool

vfrese@divorcedcatholic.org — Wed, 08 Apr 2026 17:52:11 +0000

Recently, I was on a flight to New York. I was sitting in an aisle seat. The middle seat was empty, and a young woman was sitting in the window seat. She caught my attention because she was what I would call “edgy”. She was dressed very flashy, had a purple streak dyed into her hair, and was wearing sunglasses during the flight. She put off this “Don’t mess with me because I am way too cool.” vibe. As we were getting ready to land, the flight got very bumpy. Suddenly, the woman leaned forwarded and vomited all over her feet and the floor. I found an airsick bag and handed it to her, which she gladly accepted. By the time we finally landed, the sunglasses were off, her chic hairdo was a mess, and she was looking sick and embarrassed. Her “too cool” vibe was gone. She was human after all.

We are all like this young woman in some ways. We put on an exterior shell to protect our interior vulnerability. We don’t want people to get too close, or see who we really are. But in the end, we are all human. We all struggle with the same challenges of life. God is not fooled by our act for one second. There is nothing we can hide from Him. We are all vulnerable. We all need help. That is why Christ came to save us, because we could not save ourselves. Remember that when you are feeling vulnerable, scared, or uncertain. We all need help, we can’t do it all on our own. We need Jesus. Let Him save you everyday.

Therefore, he is always able to save those who approach God through him, since he lives forever to make intercession for them. – Hebrews 7:25

Originally posted 2014-09-08 06:00:29.

Can God Get to You?

Vince Frese — Tue, 03 Mar 2026 00:51:53 +0000

In our Voices of Hope DVD, one of the participants, Marty, says, “If you are afraid, God can’t get to you.” It is a very emotionally charged moment as Marty is recalling his struggles dealing with the pain and suffering during his divorce. Marty is no softy. In fact, he is a big, burly guy. A “man’s man”, if you will. Yet, he is choking back tears as he describes his experience. Fear is that powerful.

Marty makes a very vivid point: fear prevents Christ from working in your life. Fear is one of those emotions that can paralyze you and keep you frozen with despair. It robs you of the trust that is the foundation of faith–the very thing that Christ needs to work miracles. The tiniest whisper of faith can overcome the greatest fear. Christ said in the Gospels over and over, “Do not be afraid.”, for good reason. He knows how fear can build walls around hearts and keep Him at bay. Pray for the grace to trust more. Trust is the key to experiencing Christ’s endless love and mercy.

“Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.” – Matthew 14:27

Originally posted 2014-12-22 06:00:14.

The Path

Vince Frese — Thu, 19 Feb 2026 22:05:32 +0000

Life after my divorce was so uncertain and disorienting. So much had changed. Most of the familiar routines, people, and traditions disappeared. My life felt awkward, almost alien. It really was as if I had been dropped onto Mars. I spent most of my energy numbly fumbling around trying to make sense of the my new life’s landscape. I was lost. All I knew to do was to pray and cling to my Catholic faith.

Looking back over those dark and difficult years, I now realize that how my life played out was not some random series of events. I didn’t just “get over” my divorce and have life return to normal. No, I was being led. Jesus was gently guiding me down His path. Each time I chose to follow Christ’s way instead of my own, I was surrendering my fear and uncertainty and trusting Him. This trust allowed Him to lead me to an abundant life overflowing with peace and joy. I could never have found this path on my own. He offers the same path to you. Cling to Him and be confident that His way leads to abundance. Count on it!

No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it. – 1 Corinthians 10:13

Originally posted 2014-07-18 11:00:32.

The Path

vfrese@divorcedcatholic.org — Mon, 09 Feb 2026 20:04:23 +0000

Originally posted 2014-07-18 06:00:33.

Overcoming Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt

Vince Frese — Sun, 30 Nov 2025 05:46:19 +0000

Divorce can bring a tremendous amount of suffering and uncertainty. In a moment, a lifetime of dreams and plans can be destroyed. It is during these times that it can feel like you were dropped in a foreign land with no map–in the dark. It can be a very scary feeling! Scripture repeatedly reassures us that God will never abandon us, and that He has a tremendous plan for us. Try to trust in this, for it is through trust that a sense of hopefulness will return. While you may not have a clue as to what God has planned for you in the future, you can rest assured that it is going to be better than you can imagine.

Trust wholeheartedly in Yahweh put no faith in your own perception; acknowledge him in every course you take, and he will see that your paths are smooth. — Proverbs 3: 5-6

Originally posted 2014-07-09 06:00:10.

Catch-22

Vince Frese — Mon, 20 Oct 2025 21:41:58 +0000

Recently, I was speaking to a group on the virtue of chastity. A highly charged topic, for sure. One woman raised her hand and offered that what she was most afraid of was being alone the rest of her life. She felt she was in a Catch-22 of sorts. She was afraid that if she committed to a chaste life, she would not be able to meet a man. And, if she was not chaste, she would be in mortal sin unable to receive the Eucharist. She felt she needed to choose between a life of loneliness, or a life separated from her faith. I could definitely relate.

What she was holding on to was her fear–her fear of loneliness–and it was paralyzing her. She was failing to trust Christ completely, and thus, was being held back from the abundant life he promised her. She needed to let go. She needed to let go of her fear and trust completely in Christ’s love and mercy. Often times, this is not a natural thing to do. We often end up trying to appease God and satisfy ourselves. We get nowhere. To surrender it all without holding back, we need help in the form of God’s grace to make progress in our lives. This is where the Sacraments are so important, particularly Reconciliation and the Eucharist. They impart an abundance of God’s grace. Avail yourself of them often and receive the continual grace needed to keep moving forward in your life.

For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. – Matthew 16:25

Originally posted 2014-05-29 06:00:40.

Overcoming Fear

Vince Frese — Thu, 16 Oct 2025 20:55:55 +0000

One of the most common reactions to divorce is fear. That is very understandable. Who wouldn’t be scared if their entire life came crashing in around them? The problem with fear is not being scared, that’s normal. The problem is acting on fear. That’s when fear becomes a lousy strategy.

Here is a better strategy: hope. Hope is not about ignoring the reality of being afraid. It is not some mind-psych game you play to pretend you are not afraid. Hope is acknowledging your fear and then making a decision to totally trust God. It is putting the fear into God’s hands and allowing Him to carry it for you, relieving you of the burden. The fundamental ingredient of hope is trust. It is about trusting that God has not, and never will, abandon you. It is trusting that He is walking with you through this extremely painful, lonely, and discouraging time in your life. It is trusting that He really does want you to have an abundance of peace and joy, and that He has a great plan for you to get it-even though you have no idea what that plan is. Focusing on that really does help to move past the fear of the present and look forward to a very positive, hopeful, future.

We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us. – Romans 5: 3-5

Originally posted 2014-11-03 06:00:01.

Sure Bet

Vince Frese — Thu, 02 Oct 2025 17:06:04 +0000

One time, as I was walking through a casino in Las Vegas, I heard a lot of cheering and commotion coming from a roulette table. Curiosity got the best of me, and I wandered over to see what was going on. I got there just in time to see the roulette operator slide three large stacks of chips toward a rather inebriated woman. She was enjoy herself immensely, all the while readily admitting that she had no idea what she was doing. The crowd gathered to watch the spectacle because she had won six times in a row, each time betting all her winnings again on red. With another loud cackle she yelled, “Put ’em all on red!” and she slid all her chips onto the red marker. Unfortunately, the woman was oblivious to the odds that dictated sooner or later she would lose. Sure enough, on the next spin, she lost–everything. Dumbfounded, she staggered from the table, her exuberance turned to disbelief.

Unfortunately, most of us approach life much like that woman approached gambling. We try all different strategies to solve our problems and to get ahead, usually in vain. Some of us are fortunate enough to finally stumble on the one strategy that will always win: Christ. Nothing else truly works. Nothing else can help. Nothing else can save. Nothing. Only Christ. We are supposed to put it all on Christ. He is the only sure bet. Put everything on Christ–your worries, your fears, your dreams and your hopes, everything. When you do, you will win every time.

Whatever gains I had, these I have come to consider a loss because of Christ. More than that, I even consider everything as a loss because of the supreme good of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have accepted the loss of all things and I consider them so much rubbish, that I may gain Christ. – Philippians 3:7-8

Originally posted 2014-08-20 06:00:02.

Thick Skulls

vfrese@divorcedcatholic.org — Wed, 01 Oct 2025 16:43:08 +0000

It was almost 3:00 AM, and I was sitting at my desk in my home office working feverishly. It was the night before a crucial divorce court hearing that would determine the fate of me and my children. I was a nervous wreck. I was so afraid that I would forget some vital evidence, or I would fail to give my attorney some critical piece of information. Jesus was the furthest thing from my mind. In my fear, I had driven Christ right out of my situation. I was acting as if it was all up to me. No wonder I was so scared.

In the Gospels, Jesus reminds us over and over again to not be afraid. Why is that? Because He is trying to get through our thick skulls to trust Him with our lives — all of it. You see, trust drives away fear. And trust is the cornerstone of faith. When we have faith, we make a decision, that in spite of the circumstance, we will trust that there is something much greater than our situation: Jesus.

Faith anchors our lives in the truth that Jesus always stands ready to come to our aid at all times, even when it seems hopeless. We just need to invite Him in. That invitation is an act of faith built on the trust that Jesus meant it when He said, “I will never forsake you or abandon you.“*

“Do not be afraid; just have faith.” – Mark 5:36

* Hebrews 13:5

Originally posted 2018-02-22 00:30:47.

Good Intentions

Vince Frese — Sat, 27 Sep 2025 16:09:16 +0000

When my son was in preschool, I often brought him into the Church after class to pay Jesus and Mary a visit. With a hushed voice and galloping feet, he made his way down the aisle to the tabernacle to blow a few kisses to Jesus in hope to make His sacred boo-boos feel better. The Church at this time is always empty, except for this day. A woman, who was praying in a dark corner of the church, suddenly said, “SHHHHHH!” I quickly scooped the baby up to halt his happy, but noisy trot. I found myself deeply offended by the rude reprimand and was considering a not-so-polite response when I remembered St. Bernard’s admonition: “If you can’t forgive the action, forgive the intention.”

I learned of St. Bernard’s advice many years ago, and it has been instrumental in the life-long school of forgiveness I find myself perpetually attending. So many times, especially during the years leading up to and following my divorce, these same words came to me and saved me from a lot of heartache. I found that most of the time, even when the comment, action, or insult appeared to be a direct assault, I was able to look a bit deeper at the probable intention and then it didn’t hurt so much. I began to reason that the comment was coming from a source of fear, a possible lack of control of a situation, or from someone who felt backed into a corner. Nonetheless, it made the process of forgiveness a bit easier as I was able to look at my own bad behavior and understand what propelled me to do or say some of the things I wish I could take back. In the case of this woman in church, surely she was trying to pray. She was probably suffering in some way and really needed the peace and quiet that a church should provide. I sympathized with her, having been there myself many times. My anger was transformed into mercy.

“Forgive them, they know not what they do.” – Luke 23:34

Originally posted 2014-11-28 06:00:45.