I thought that once my divorce was final, life would get back to some sense of normal and most of my divorce-related struggles would disappear. Yeah, right. I quickly discovered that the primary change was the types of struggles I faced, not struggles themselves.  

My main struggle initially was committing to a chaste lifestyle. That one would routinely challenge me during the first year or two after my divorce. But, I had others, too, like dealing with anger at my former spouse, and being patient with my kids after a long day as a single parent. I even had difficulty trusting God and fully living my faith. Each time I would fail to rise up and overcome the challenge of the moment, I always felt disgusted and angry with myself.  

A priest suggested that I start praying for the graces to have the strength to overcome my challenges. He suggested I say a quick prayer each time I was feeling particularly challenged. If I had the presence of mind, I would pray the Our Father, but usually it was a simple, “Lord help me!” It really helped. While I didn’t respond properly every time, I did respond properly more often than not. I more readily overcame my temptations, held my tongue with my ex, and was able to see my kids misbehaving as just a signal that they needed a hug instead of a timeout. Now instead of feeling disgusted and angry with myself, I actually felt good about the way I handled my challenges. Going through a divorce, and being divorced, brings its share of challenges. I learned that I was not going it alone. I learned how to use the amazing power of prayer to give me strength when I needed it most.

Pray without ceasing. – 1 Thessalonians 5:17

Originally posted 2014-07-22 06:00:26.

Marge was stuck. Her failing to let go and to forgive was causing her to relive the painful events of twenty years ago–everyday. She was stuck in the past, and it was robbing her of peace, joy, and even her physical health.

Our Lord gave us a roadmap to follow when we are wronged or persecuted. He taught us to pray for those who persecute us and to forgive them. While this can be very difficult, it is essential to freeing ourselves of our painful past and claiming the great life God created us for. Start by praying everyday for the grace you need to let go of the resentment and to forgive. Forgiveness is a process that takes time. Rely on the Sacraments of the Eucharist and Reconciliation to give you strength. Don’t give up! It is the key to your emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being.

“You have heard this it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you.” – Matthew 5:43-44

Originally posted 2014-12-03 06:00:28.

One evening, I was leaving a meeting at my parish, and was pulling out of my parking space, when I stopped dead in my tracks.  I had just realized that I walked out of the church and forgot to make a visit to Jesus. In every Catholic Church around the world, Jesus, in the form of the Eucharist, is present in the tabernacle. It is truly Jesus, not some symbol or sign. It is God, Creator of the Universe, Savior of the World, the Alpha and Omega, the Real Deal, always physically available to us. While this may be hard to get our minds around, over the centuries, so many have testified to this truth and its power.

My leaving the Church without taking a minute or two to kneel before Our Savior in thanksgiving and reverence was like ignoring my mother if she were waiting in the next room. While most would never ignore their mother, so many Catholics think nothing of ignoring Jesus in the tabernacle, leaving so much grace and love untapped. Your divorce or separation is a time in your life when you need Jesus more than ever. He waits patiently for you in the tabernacle aching to strengthen, encourage, and heal you. Take advantage of every opportunity you have to let Jesus love you from the tabernacle.

Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me will never hunger, and whoever believes in me will never thirst.” – John 6:35

Originally posted 2014-11-17 06:00:44.

Not living the truth causes you to avoid modifying those behaviors in your life that are leading you toward sin and away from Christ. Using the workout analogy, by cheating on your workouts, you are not receiving the health benefits because you did not endure the pain required to build muscle or burn fat. You are kept weak, and your physical growth is stunted. The same is true in your spiritual life. Had you lived in the truth, you would have made different decisions, made the character changes necessary to fulfill them, grown in maturity and ability, and drawn closer to God. (This is always the fruit of living in the truth.)

Originally posted 2014-07-10 06:00:52.

Eleventh Station: Jesus is Nailed to the Cross

Meditation: Christ, you lived in the truth and were nailed to a cross because of it. The crowd preferred to live in darkness surrounded by lies and fueled by hatred. I am so tired of living in darkness. I’m tired of all of the lies and hatred that swirl around me as I see my marriage fall apart. I am going to nail every lie to your cross and plead for the grace to live in the truth. I will no longer accept lies and deception in my life. You are the Way, the Truth and the Life, Jesus. Give me the courage that it takes to live an authentic life as you did.

Be the source of my strength, that in you I will have strength for everything.

Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God. – 2Corinthians 4:2

Originally posted 2014-03-21 11:00:59.

Recently, I was speaking to a group on the virtue of chastity. A highly charged topic, for sure.  One woman raised her hand and offered that what she was most afraid of was being alone the rest of her life. She felt she was in a Catch-22 of sorts. She was afraid that if she committed to a chaste life, she would not be able to meet a man. And, if she was not chaste, she would be in mortal sin unable to receive the Eucharist. She felt she needed to choose between a life of loneliness, or a life separated from her faith. I could definitely relate.

Originally posted 2014-10-23 06:00:47.