Like clockwork, my mom would change the sheets every Thursday. I remember how good it felt crawling into bed on Thursday evenings. Looking back, I am sure I did not appreciate that as much as I should have, or realize the level of effort it took to make that happen every week.  I do now.  It is one of the ways that I know I was unconditionally loved. Isn’t it funny, it is not the vacations, or cars we drove, or material things we owned that affirm that I was loved.  It is the simple, consistent acts of love like clean sheets every week and home cooked meals every night.

To this day, I draw my security in life from the fact that my childhood was filled with those simple acts of love. My parents’ consistent love for me reaffirmed to me everyday that I was worth it. I was worth the sacrifice it took to have clean sheets, hot meals, and the many other things my parents did for me every single day. Without using words, they shouted everyday “YOU ARE WORTH IT!” Nothing, and nobody, can ever take away the deep sense of security and self-worth that my parents gave me by their acts of selfless love. I carry it with me everyday and it is the foundation of my life.

One of the great tragedies of divorce is that it robs children of their sense of security. What was once routine and commonplace is often completely disrupted in the blur of two different households, two different routines, and two different sets of values–not to mention the intense emotional trauma. It’s no wonder that kids are often left questioning their importance and self-worth. The best thing you can do for your children (no matter what their age) is to “shout” by your actions every day that they are so worth your time, attention, and sacrifice. While you  can’t change the fact that your children have suffered through a divorce, you can ensure that the message ringing in their mind, heart, and soul for the rest of their lives is “YOU ARE SO WORTH IT!”

I urge you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship. – Romans 12:1

Originally posted 2014-05-14 06:00:06.

One day, as I walked into the kitchen, my four-year-old son was watching his favorite TV show. Patting the seat of his chair, he looked up at me with these big, puppy-dog eyes and said, “Can you come and sit with me?” My heart melted. Even though I had a million things to do, I could not resist the invitation and sat down with him. He snuggled up close to me and rested his head on my chest. We sat there very content for the next twenty minutes silently enjoying each other’s company. It was one of those “moments,” and I came away with a renewed sense of peace, feeling very grateful for the time spent and for my son.

A divorce or separation can crash into your world fragmenting your time, attention, and energy. Whether it’s raising kids as a single parent, working two jobs to make ends meet, coping with the emotional fallout of a dying marriage, or all the above, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and hopeless.

Just as my son invited me to “come sit,” our Lord, Jesus Christ, makes the same invitation to you, every day, 24/7. He is present in the tabernacle of every Catholic church throughout the entire world. Think about that. Our Lord, the Great Healer, the Great Comforter, the Creator of the Universe, is available to you pretty much whenever you want–and most likely within 15-20 minutes of where you are standing. And He is longing for you to come and sit with Him. Take Him up on His invitation often. No matter how difficult or stressful your life may be, He promises that you are sure to come away with a renewed sense of peace and hope. Won’t you come sit with Him?

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid. – John 14:27

Originally posted 2014-04-24 06:00:01.

Each step I took up the stairs was a struggle. It felt like my feet were encased in concrete. It was the night before the court hearing that would determine the outcome of my divorce and the custody of my children. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I didn’t want to be dealing with this mess! Life was so difficult.

I was heading up the stairs to perform my nightly ritual of checking on the sleeping kids and blessing them. I ease quietly into their rooms, adjust their covers, and make the sign of the cross over them, saying a silent prayer asking The Lord to bless them and protect them while they slept. Their innocent, sleeping faces always melt my heart.

On this particular night, I dragged myself into their rooms weary with grief and worry. As I finished blessing my youngest, I was filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. It was as if time stood still, and all my worries and pain vanished. I had a moment of real peace for the first time in a long time. What I realized in that moment was that no matter how bad things can be in my life, God provides so much for me to be thankful for. In my pain and anxiousness, I lost sight of that. God blessed me with this reminder just when I needed it most. I crawled into bed still hurting and worried, but feeling a little more hopeful as well.

Gratitude is a counterweight to life’s anxieties and problems. When feeling overwhelmed, stop and consider all you have to be thankful for. Your health, your kids, their health, the roof over your head, a car that runs, the love of your family, even the dirty laundry, are reminders of how blessed we really are. Gratitude is God’s great counterweight to life’s challenges. It helps us keep a more balanced perspective and reminds us that things are never quite as bad as they seem.

Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. – Philippians 4:6

Originally posted 2014-05-15 06:00:24.

My first Thanksgiving was so difficult. My divorce was in full swing and my world was crumbling. Frankly, I did not have a thankful attitude. What did I have to be thankful for? Everything in my world was being ripped away from me.

Fast forward thirteen years, and here is what I have learned: the most important things in life, no one, and nothing, can take away from you. Your health, the love of your family, your education, your faith, your heritage, the love of God, your ability to give and to love, and God’s purpose, are all things that are yours no matter what. In the midst of your personal storm, take a moment to reflect on these things. It will fill you with gratitude and remind you how blessed you really are, giving you hope and strength to endure even the most difficult times.

O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
his steadfast love endures for ever! – Psalm 118:1

Originally posted 2014-11-26 06:00:29.