The world offers so many remedies for our emotional pain. Unfortunately, they are usually nothing more than snake oil, holding the promise of healing, but in the end are just an illusion. Jesus is the Real Deal, the Divine Physician, who wants to heal you of your pain and sorrow. While He came over 2,000 years ago, His healing power is still available to all who believe in Him. No one is shut out from His healing love. The key is to ask in faith, and trust in the depth of His love. He will never abandon you.

“I will never forsake or abandon you.” – Hebrews 13:5-6

Originally posted 2014-09-01 06:00:31.

One morning I walked into Mass very distracted and anxious. I had many things on my mind: projects due at work, challenges with the kids, financial pressures, dealing with the ex, etc. On top of that, I wasn’t feeling well. It was hard to focus on the Mass. Frankly, I was just going through the motions. After I received the Blessed Sacrament, I was walking back to the pew when I heard it. It was a kind of whisper in my soul that said, “No matter what is going on out there, I am always here.” A feeling of peace flooded over me. Christ was reminding me that, while my life was stressful and unpredictable, His peace was available to me any time I needed it. I could unplug from the craziness of my life simply by coming to Mass. Time could almost stand still. My worries, fears and doubts could be put on hold. The Mass can be the oasis in my desert, a port in my storm. I never forgot it.

Originally posted 2013-11-19 11:00:40.

A feeling of dread came over me as I noticed the fat, overstuffed envelope crammed in my mailbox. It was yet another mailing from my attorney. They seemed to be coming almost daily. Somedays they were bills, and on other days they were copies of the many voluminous letters he was sending or receiving. No matter what was in them, they always filled me with anxiety and dread. This put me in a seemingly permanent state of despair. My world became increasing dark as my storm clouds never seemed to lift.

One day, in the midst of my funk, I dragged myself into my counselor’s office and unloaded. She listened patiently and then gave me some very helpful advice. She said, while I could not change my reality, I could change how I was thinking about it. She stressed that thoughts really do impact emotions, and I could improve my outlook by thinking differently. It sounded too simple. Yet, at her urging, I started thinking about ways I could make the best of the outcome of my divorce, whatever it was. If I lost custody of the kids, I would become a teacher at their school so I could see them daily. If I lost all my money, I would move into a small house and start over. If I lost my friends, I would lean on my loving family for support. Instead of focusing just on the negative, I would push myself to inject some positive thought into my anxious mind. It really helped. The bad news didn’t suddenly stop, but I felt more steady emotionally. I was now approaching each day with my chin up and a sturdier attitude. The sun started peeking out from behind my clouds.

Your mind is an amazing gift. How you use it can be the key difference between hope and despair. Choose hope!

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. – Philippians 4:8

Originally posted 2014-06-30 06:00:12.

While it may be too late to save your marriage, it is never to late to take accountability. First, acknowledge what you did wrong before God, preferably in confession. Then, do whatever you can do to make it right. If you were unfaithful, sincerely apologize and acknowledge the pain you caused. If you abused alcohol, drugs, or pornography, seek help. If you were uninvolved with the kids, get involved. If you were irresponsible with money, try to make financial reparations. If there is a chance you can reconcile, explore it in counseling. Whatever it is, now is always a great time to start to make amends.

Ignoring the past and doing nothing is easy. Making things right can be very difficult and often takes a great deal of humility. It’s up to you. Decide now to end the cycle of pain and despair that come with divorce, and start writing a new chapter of your life that is sure to have a happy ending.

Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift. – Matthew 5:23-24

Originally posted 2014-09-19 06:00:49.

Originally posted 2014-06-19 06:00:35.

When Christ was born over 2,000 years ago, He came bursting through the thin veil that separates Heaven and Earth. God designed the two realities to be separate, yet out of tremendous love for us, He intervened and sent His Son into our reality to save us from the mess we had created here on Earth. Well, as the saying goes, “The more things change, the more they stay the same,” certainly holds true for God’s feeble creatures. We still seem to find a way to make a mess of our lives and situations.

Since we live in our physical reality, it is hard to imagine what the spiritual reality is like. We are just too human, too anchored into the day-to-day aspects of living. We tend to understand living as “now” and Heaven as “later.” In truth, Earth and Heaven co-exist. God sent His Son long ago to save us because He could no longer bear to watch us wallowing in the misery we had created for ourselves. The great news is that He continues to send His Son—through the Eucharist. At every Mass, Christ once again smashes through the veil between Heaven and Earth to become physically present to us. It is like a mini-nativity each and every time. Whether you receive Him physically, or simply sit in His presence, His power to heal and save is just as potent today as it was that first Christmas. In the Eucharist, Christ continues to fulfill His mission to heal the wounded, love the unloved, and welcome the outcasts. Seek Christ in the Eucharist, and allow His reality to save you from distress and fill you will abundant hope and joy.

The angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all people. For today in the city of David a savior has been born for you who is Messiah and Lord.” – Luke 2:10-11

Originally posted 2014-12-08 06:00:30.

Life after my divorce was so uncertain and disorienting. So much had changed. Most of the familiar routines, people, and traditions disappeared. My life felt awkward, almost alien. It really was as if I had been dropped onto Mars. I spent most of my energy numbly fumbling around trying to make sense of the my new life’s landscape. I was lost. All I knew to do was to pray and cling to my Catholic faith.

Originally posted 2014-07-18 11:00:32.

One of the most frustrating aspects of going through a divorce (or any painful situation, really) is that as much as you would like, you can’t snap your fingers and make it all go away. It seems that just when you have solved one problem, or suffered through yet another emotional experience, there is another right behind it. Life can become a grind. This is when you can become hopeless and feel like God has abandoned you.

Guess what? God knows EVERYTHING. He knows everything that has happened to you (and everything that will), and He knows exactly how you are feeling. Because He honors your free will, he rarely comes in and saves you from yourself. What He does do is long for you to show your trust in Him by living your faith, especially on the really difficult days when you are not sure what you believe. Those are the days that you are not acting out of feelings, but out of your will. A will that chooses God over yourself. You see, God is in it with you for the long haul. He is with you day by day as you trudge through life trying to make it all make sense, battling frustration, hopelessness, and despair. When you muster the courage and obedience to live your faith, to believe even when you are not sure, and to act even when your feelings are telling you it’s not worth it, that’s when the blessings flow. This faithfulness is what God will reward everyday, even though you may not see it or feel it. It is only in the looking back that you can more clearly see how God has loved you all along the way.

I have been crucified with Christ; yet I live, no longer I, but Christ lives in me; insofar as I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God who has loved me and given himself up for me. – Galatians 2:19-20

Originally posted 2014-07-11 06:00:35.

“You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!” Those were the famous words that Jack Nicholson delivered so passionately in the movie A Few Good Men. And he was right. Many people can’t handle the truth, especially when it sheds light on poor choices or brings on consequences. This is often the case when a marriage ends in divorce. One spouse is usually trying to make the other spouse acknowledge and live the truth of their marriage vows. All too often, one of the two can’t handle (or live) that truth.

Just because one person refuses to accept the truth, doesn’t make it any less true. Thanks be to God! If the truth was only true if you believed it, you would have no foundation to build your life on. The truth is so desperately needed when someone is grappling with divorce. So often they have been surrounded by lies, or its kissing cousin, denial, for so long, confusion and uncertainty abound. Build you life on the truth of Jesus Christ; you will experience the clarity, certainty, and peace that comes with building your life on a foundation of rock.

“For this I was born and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice.” – John 18:37

Originally posted 2013-08-26 11:00:40.

Not long after my divorce was final, my former spouse and I had a rather cutting verbal exchange. It had something to do with the kids or money, I can’t quite remember. What I do remember is sitting in my car afterward with my head dropped down on my chest feeling very defeated. The two years prior to my divorce, and, now, even after my divorce, dealing with my former spouse was always unpleasant. It was like having to have a root canal– EVERY DAY. I remember thinking, “Okay, well, I guess this is just the way my life is always going to be from now on.” I could not imagine my life not being filled with angst and turmoil due to the difficult interactions with my spouse. It was depressing.

Fast forward ten+ years and fortunately things have gotten a lot better. Not perfect, but certainly much more cooperative and flexible. How did this happen? I made a decision to stop fighting and ended the war. It was hard at first because I had to hold my tongue and control my anger when my ex would follow the same old patterns of emotional guerrilla warfare. However, over time, my setting the example of not engaging in the fighting, actually taught my ex to do the same. It didn’t take too many verbal jabs that went without retaliation for my ex to figure out I was no longer going to play that game. I took the high road, and often times it was the hard road, but it made all the difference.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. ’ But I say to you, offer no resistance to one who is evil. When someone strikes you on your right cheek, turn the other one to him as well.” – Matthew 5:38-39

Originally posted 2014-07-23 06:00:31.