The low point in my divorce came on Christmas morning, about two months after my divorce was filed. I actually got a call from my attorney; he wanted to discuss some aspect of my divorce (he didn’t celebrate Christmas since he was Jewish). I remember getting off that call and thinking, “I will be so relieved when this is all over and I can patch my life back together.” Boy, was I setting my sights low!

Overwhelmed with the pain and intensity of my divorce, all I hoped for out of the rest of my life was to be free of emotional pain. I could not imagine anything greater than that. Little did I know, I was aiming far too low. Fortunately, God was aiming high — very high.

While I would have been satisfied simply to slug through the rest of my life, God had much, much greater plans for me. His plans included using my painful experiences to help tens of thousands of divorced Catholics all over the world, and, ultimately, to meet an incredible woman of faith, get married, blend two families into one, and have a total of seven kids, including the gift of our son. Many years later, as I look back on how God’s plan has played out in my life, I am still blown away.

When you are struggling to look into the future and see anything but a life hobbled by divorce, remember that God’s plans are always far greater than anything you can imagine. While you may be willing to settle for mediocrity, God is ready to give you a mind-blowing life filled with an abundance of peace, joy, purpose, and love. All you need to do is ask!

“Therefore I tell you, all that you ask for in prayer, believe that you will receive it and it shall be yours.” – Mark 11:24

Originally posted 2018-06-07 00:30:15.

When Christ was born over 2,000 years ago, He came bursting through the thin veil that separates Heaven and Earth. God designed the two realities to be separate, yet out of tremendous love for us, He intervened and sent His Son into our reality to save us from the mess we had created here on Earth. Well, as the saying goes, “The more things change, the more they stay the same,” certainly holds true for God’s feeble creatures. We still seem to find a way to make a mess of our lives and situations.

Since we live in our physical reality, it is hard to imagine what the spiritual reality is like. We are just too human, too anchored into the day-to-day aspects of living. We tend to understand living as “now” and Heaven as “later.” In truth, Earth and Heaven co-exist. God sent His Son long ago to save us because He could no longer bear to watch us wallowing in the misery we had created for ourselves. The great news is that He continues to send His Son—through the Eucharist. At every Mass, Christ once again smashes through the veil between Heaven and Earth to become physically present to us. It is like a mini-nativity each and every time. Whether you receive Him physically, or simply sit in His presence, His power to heal and save is just as potent today as it was that first Christmas. In the Eucharist, Christ continues to fulfill His mission to heal the wounded, love the unloved, and welcome the outcasts. Seek Christ in the Eucharist, and allow His reality to save you from distress and fill you will abundant hope and joy.

The angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all people. For today in the city of David a savior has been born for you who is Messiah and Lord.” – Luke 2:10-11

Originally posted 2014-12-08 06:00:30.

If you ever have the privilege of going to Rome and visiting the many ancient Catholic churches, you will often see incredibly beautiful tapestries hanging from the walls.  Usually, these tapestries depict some scene from Scripture. These amazing tapestries were painstakingly made by hand with countless strands of thread. When they are all woven together, they create magnificent works of art that uplift and inspire. Ironically, if you turn one over and look at the back, what you see doesn’t resemble anything like the beautiful front. Often, it looks like a hodgepodge of threads that is actually quite ugly.

Originally posted 2013-07-09 06:00:26.

Going through a divorce can feel like a battle. You are constantly having to muster the strength to go up against some very difficult situations. Often times it seems like it is you against the world. It can be a very lonely and discouraging time.

Stand strong! Our faith teaches that we are not alone in our struggles. We have a God who promises over and over in the Scriptures that He will never abandon us. In fact, He promises that we can expect Him to step in and help just when we need it most. Our God is a faithful God who will never leave us hanging. Let this Truth encourage you in your daily struggle and give you courage, strength, and hope.

The word of the LORD came to me thus:
 Gird your loins;
     stand up and tell them
     all that I command you.
 Be not crushed on their account,
     as though I would leave you crushed before them;
 For it is I this day
     who have made you a fortified city,
 A pillar of iron, a wall of brass,
     against the whole land: 
 Against Judah’s kings and princes,
     against its priests and people.
 They will fight against you, but not prevail over you,
     for I am with you to deliver you, says the Lord. – Jeremiah 1:17-19

Originally posted 2014-11-14 06:00:30.

“You’re getting warmer!” my sister yelled from the other side of the yard — my heart beating faster in gleeful anticipation. My siblings and I were engrossed in one of our favorite childhood games. We would hide something, and then the one who was “it” would have to find the object with the help of being told when they were getting closer (“warmer”) or getting further away (“colder”). It was a roller coaster of emotion as you ping-ponged around desperately trying to find the hidden object before time ran out.

I think as adults we tend to play a similar game; however, the hidden object is our peace of mind. Our life circumstances, with all its demands, frustrations, and unplanned realities, hides our peace. We then spend an inordinate amount of time and energy trying to find it again. We seem to be perpetually restless, searching for the peace that we can’t ever quite seem to find.

As with the childhood game, our heart reacts depending on how close we are to living God’s will. The further away, the more restless we become. The closer, the more peace we experience.

The Holy Spirit will guide you to lasting peace. Through prayer and quiet reflection, you can “hear” the Holy Spirit as He continuously gives you guidance. Your heart is sure to grow warmer with peace the closer you come to living God’s will for you.

“When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth.” – John 16:13

Originally posted 2018-05-24 00:30:50.

Hope is often looked upon as a kind of luck. The “grease”, if you will, that helps you slide through difficult situations. We tell ourselves: “I hope I don’t run out of gas.”, or, “I hope I win the lottery.”, or, “I hope I am not alone the rest of my life.” Unfortunately, this is not hope, it’s wishful thinking. It is a frame-of-mind that is trying to brace for the potential of failure. It is a coping mechanism–a kind of mental psych-up. None of this is the hope that we are promised in Scripture.

Originally posted 2013-08-31 11:00:46.

If you could sum up my life as a math equation, here is what it would have looked like:

Hopelessness + Pain = Suffering

That was math I could definitely understand. I was living it everyday. Fortunately, Jesus taught me some new math. It looks like this:

Hopelessness + Pain + Jesus = New Life

You see, Jesus created a whole new equation for life. It was through His suffering and death on the cross that allowed for the resurrection. Without the cross, there is no resurrection, only suffering and death. With the cross, there is the resurrection and new life. A new life filled with hope, peace, and joy. His suffering meant my suffering could end. And so can yours. Give Jesus all of your suffering from the death of your marriage. Nail it to His cross. When you do, you will share in the new life of His resurrection; a life that frees you from pain and fills you with hope, peace, and joy.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who in his great mercy gave us a new birth to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. – 1 Peter 1:3

Originally posted 2014-10-10 06:00:56.

Going through divorce often feels like a battle. Each day can be a fight just to keep your head above water, often doing the work of two people. All the while dealing with the extremely difficult emotional issues that a divorce invariably brings. It can be overwhelming and so discouraging. Recognize that the source of these struggles may not be just from this world–or your ex. The evil one delights in creating despair and disillusionment. He uses these emotions to make you doubt God’s love and draw you away from the very source of hope and healing. Jesus, on the other hand, is the encourager and protector of your soul. While suffering is certainly a part of life after divorce, Our Lord provides a way to persevere by offering His angels for strength and protection.  Turn to them in your time of need. They can be powerful defenders in your battle with those whispering in your ear to give up.

Originally posted 2013-11-06 11:00:35.

I remember as a kid, my brother and I went rafting down a river by our house. We played this game where we would take turns going down this particular stretch of rapids in a raft. I would jump in the water, grab the rope, and navigate the raft through the rapids while my brother took a ride. I would then pull the raft back up to the top of the rapids and switch places. This would go on for hours until we were both exhausted. I distinctly remember that the trip down the river was certainly more exciting. It was also much easier because I was swimming with the current. The trip back up was so much more difficult because I was literally swimming upstream while pulling the raft and my brother.

The above story describes well our typical relationship with God. Unfortunately, we spend much of our time pushing back against His will. We want to do it our way and on our timeframe. This is like swimming upstream. It is very difficult and emotionally exhausting. When we follow God’s will, it doesn’t mean it is going to be easy. Like the rapids I had to navigate while pulling my brother, doing God’s will is often scary and uncertain. Yet, instead of fighting against the current of His will, we are carried along with it. God actually participates with us. This makes doing His will easier. Remember this as you hit various struggles in your life. If you find yourself overwhelmed and emotionally exhausted, chances are you are working against God’s will. Take your struggle into prayer and ask God to reveal His will. He is sure to guide you downstream to more peaceful waters.

“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.” – Matthew 11:28-30

Originally posted 2014-05-26 06:00:28.

“I can’t ever imagine my life without this overwhelming pain,” I managed to choke out between my sobs to my counselor. It had been about three months after my divorce was filed, and I was overwhelmed with grief. I believed the rest of my life was going to be filled with the intense emotional pain I was experiencing, and I knew I couldn’t bear it. I had truly lost hope for my future and was at the point of total despair.

My very wise counselor made one simple suggestion that made a huge, positive impact. She suggested that I reflect on my faith. She went on to explain that faith is a decision. If I exclude the reality of God from my life, then there is nothing to hope for and grief turns into despair. However, if I include the reality of God in my life, there is always something greater — no matter the grief and pain. It is this reality that is the reason for hope. Her gentle reminder about my faith was a real paradigm shift in how I viewed my situation.

Faith is a decision that we all must make at some point in our lives. We must decide that either this world is all there is or there is something beyond this life that is so much greater. Our decision is what makes all the difference.

Grief is an indicator of transition — a change, a letting go. When Our Lord is brought into this transition, He will bring new life. Even though this new life may not be what we had planned, because it is built on trust in Christ, there ultimately will be joy — a joy that this physical world can’t touch.

And that is exactly what happened to me, and it can happen to you too. Believe.

“Amen, amen, I say to you, you will weep and mourn, while the world rejoices; you will grieve, but your grief will become joy.” — John 16:20

Originally posted 2018-02-15 00:30:44.