In our Voices of Hope DVD, one of the participants, Marty, says, “If you are afraid, God can’t get to you.” It is a very emotionally charged moment as Marty is recalling his struggles dealing with the pain and suffering during his divorce. Marty is no softy. In fact, he is a big, burly guy. A “man’s man”, if you will. Yet, he is choking back tears as he describes his experience. Fear is that powerful.

Marty makes a very vivid point: fear prevents Christ from working in your life. Fear is one of those emotions that can paralyze you and keep you frozen with despair. It robs you of the trust that is the foundation of faith–the very thing that Christ needs to work miracles. The tiniest whisper of faith can overcome the greatest fear. Christ said in the Gospels over and over, “Do not be afraid.”, for good reason. He knows how fear can build walls around hearts and keep Him at bay. Pray for the grace to trust more. Trust is the key to experiencing Christ’s endless love and mercy.

“Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.” – Matthew 14:27

Originally posted 2014-12-22 06:00:14.

If you could sum up my life as a math equation, here is what it would have looked like:

Hopelessness + Pain = Suffering

That was math I could definitely understand. I was living it everyday. Fortunately, Jesus taught me some new math. It looks like this:

Hopelessness + Pain + Jesus = New Life

You see, Jesus created a whole new equation for life. It was through His suffering and death on the cross that allowed for the resurrection. Without the cross, there is no resurrection, only suffering and death. With the cross, there is the resurrection and new life. A new life filled with hope, peace, and joy. His suffering meant my suffering could end. And so can yours. Give Jesus all of your suffering from the death of your marriage. Nail it to His cross. When you do, you will share in the new life of His resurrection; a life that frees you from pain and fills you with hope, peace, and joy.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who in his great mercy gave us a new birth to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. – 1 Peter 1:3

Originally posted 2014-10-10 06:00:56.

“I can’t believe I did that! Is this me?!,” exclaimed one of our workshop participants (we’ll call her Jayne) after sharing that she recently defended her ex-husband to her family. Evidently, Jayne’s family was giving her a rather hard time about her ex, and she responded by defending him in his absence. What surprised her was that she did not jump in on the slam-fest and give him a few good whacks of her own. Jayne added that for the year or two after her divorce, she would have readily pounced on any opportunity to criticize her ex. She was amazed that now she was doing just the opposite. It was as if she had an out-of-body experience and did not even recognize herself. Her excitement at this self-revelation was palpable.

Why was this? Why was Jayne in shock and awe over defending her ex? Why did she hardly recognize herself? Because she was not the same person she was at the time of her divorce. She had grown and evolved from the suffering that came with it. This is a clear example of the “good” that can come out of suffering. Jayne had grown in compassion, understanding, and (dare I say) even love, for her ex. All because she had suffered mightily from her divorce. The suffering changed her because she did not run from it. She embraced it and allowed it, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to transform her. She became more merciful toward her ex and had grown in wisdom, allowing her to better see the truth of her situation. In short, she became a better person.

Had she run from the pain and avoided the suffering, she would have become stuck in her own mud-pit of anger, self-pity and despair. Instead, she was transformed into a better person by the very thing that most people think would have ruined her. This is the benefit of suffering with a purpose. It is the same type of suffering that Christ did for us. When we allow our suffering to transform us and benefit others, we become like Christ. His suffering was not for nothing–it saved mankind. While our suffering probably won’t have as dramatic an effect, it can certainly help us and those we love, even those we struggle to love. The key is to lean into it. If you do, you will speed your recovery from divorce, grow in wisdom and compassion, and bless many lives.

For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in his footsteps. – 1 Peter 2:21

Originally posted 2014-05-22 06:00:48.

Not long ago one of my teenagers was grumbling about not being able to go out with friends because she had mismanaged her money and did not have enough money to buy gas for her car. She was not happy. We had a brief parent/daughter exchange about what lesson she learned from not managing her money properly. I, in all my parental wisdom, said simply, “Pain instructs.” This quote from Benjamin Franklin just seemed like the best words of wisdom I could offer at the time. Of course, my daughter didn’t think so, and she walked away rolling her eyes.

I think my daughter’s reaction to suffering is typical of most of us. We don’t like it. We don’t want anything to do with it. And we hope if we ignore it long enough, it will go away. Divorce certainly brings on significant suffering. There is the initial tidal wave of suffering that occurs when the divorce first hits. Then, there is an extended period of suffering, while not as intense, seems to confront us daily as we try to reconstruct our lives. Contrary to logic, it is in these daily sufferings where we have the greatest opportunity to make our lives better. Each suffering is an invitation from God for Him to act in our lives, an invitation to help us by teaching us, improving us, and loving us. When we run from our suffering, we push God away. We deny His invitation. Try instead to accept His invitation for help. Open your heart and mind to what He wants you to learn. Allow Him to use the experience to change and improve you. And most of all, receive His abundant love and mercy. Doing these things allows God to transform your suffering into something good.

In this you rejoice, although now for a little while you may have to suffer through various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith, more precious than gold that is perishable even though tested by fire, may prove to be for praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. – 1 Peter 1:6-7

Originally posted 2014-08-27 06:00:35.

Going through divorce often feels like a battle. Each day can be a fight just to keep your head above water, often doing the work of two people. All the while dealing with the extremely difficult emotional issues that a divorce invariably brings. It can be overwhelming and so discouraging. Recognize that the source of these struggles may not be just from this world–or your ex. The evil one delights in creating despair and disillusionment. He uses these emotions to make you doubt God’s love and draw you away from the very source of hope and healing. Jesus, on the other hand, is the encourager and protector of your soul. While suffering is certainly a part of life after divorce, Our Lord provides a way to persevere by offering His angels for strength and protection.  Turn to them in your time of need. They can be powerful defenders in your battle with those whispering in your ear to give up.

Originally posted 2013-11-06 11:00:35.

“Singing is praying twice,” said St. Augustine. He understood that the power of music and song can lift our hearts and minds to God in ways that nothing else can. The song, “Blessings,” by Laura Story, is a wonderful example of this. This song speaks so beautifully to the truth that, even in our sufferings, God is present healing us and showering us with His mercy. I pray its truth resonates with you.

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe

‘Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It’s not our home

‘Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

© Laura Story

You expired, Jesus, but the source of life gushed forth for souls, and the ocean of mercy opened up for the whole world. O Fount of Life, unfathomable Divine Mercy, envelop the whole world and empty Yourself out upon us. – Divine Mercy Chaplet

Originally posted 2014-08-11 06:00:28.

It was about a month into my divorce when my former spouse stopped by the house to pick up something. She was all decked-out and clearly very excited about that night’s “big date.” I will never forget it. Here I was being crushed under the emotional weight of the divorce, yet she seemed so unscathed and appeared to have moved on like it was no big deal. It just seemed so unfair. I was suffering greatly while she got off scot-free.

I formed my opinion based on what I could see. God judges very differently; God judges the heart. He sees deep inside to our deepest motivations and is not fooled by our outward appearances. Trust that ultimately each of us will be held accountable for our actions before God. No matter how “right” we think we are, God will judge us by His standards. All the more reason to focus on what we can control, and make sure that in all we do we try and please God.

But the Lord said to Samuel: Do not judge from his appearance or from his lofty stature, because I have rejected him. God does not see as a mortal, who sees the appearance. The Lord looks into the heart. – 1 Samuel 16:7

Originally posted 2014-09-29 06:00:12.

I read an article recently about a woman who was trying to help her kids understand why Jesus chose to suffer and die when He could have taken a much easier (and less painful) path for our salvation. She tells them of when she did not have enough money to buy a gift to bring to a wedding. Her friend, who brought a very nice, beautifully wrapped, gift allowed her to add her name to the card. She told her kids that Jesus allows us to “add our name” to the gift of His sacrifice to the Father. We can do this every time we suffer because Jesus was willing to suffer so that our own suffering would be worthwhile, not wasted.

Originally posted 2014-12-10 06:00:52.

Trust wholeheartedly in Yahweh put no faith in your own perception; acknowledge him in every course you take, and he will see that your paths are smooth. — Proverbs 3: 5-6

Originally posted 2014-07-09 06:00:10.

My instinctual reaction was to turn to God. That was good. However, most of time I was so emotionally and physically exhausted, I could not put the words together to actually pray. It was just too hard. When I was able to muster the strength, I tended to be more consumed with saying the right words, than just letting God’s presence comfort me.

If you can relate, here’s a suggestion: pray the most simple, powerful, and perfect prayer there is by saying “Jesus.” That’s it. Say it fast, say it slow. Say it loud, say it soft. Say it once, say it over and over. It doesn’t matter. Just saying the name of Jesus ushers in the full power of the Creator and all the angels and saints in Heaven to your aid. Try it the next time life overwhelms you and you find yourself at a loss for words.

Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. – Philippians 2:9-11

Originally posted 2014-12-12 06:00:27.