Vince FreseVirtue – Vince Frese

What’s Your Shelf Life?

Vince Frese — Fri, 08 May 2026 19:26:23 +0000

I once heard a woman lamenting about her “shelf life”. I had never heard that expression before and I asked her to explain. She said that men find women less attractive as women get older. Therefore, women have a limited time in which to find a suitable mate. If they get too old, they will be cast aside like last week’s newspaper. She went on to explain that men don’t have that problem since women find them attractive at any age.

I remember feeling very sad at this cynical viewpoint, and I told her so. I went on to explain, that while the body certainly ages, virtue never does. I told her that what men and women alike are really seeking is someone of virtue, not some perfect physical specimen. A person who lives their life guided by timeless virtues like honesty, integrity, commitment, self-control, respect, kindness, and selflessness, is a rare person indeed. This is what makes them so attractive. And virtuous people always attract other virtuous people.

Physically attractive people are everywhere, virtuous people are not. Without virtue, all that you will have left as you age is wrinkles. Live a life of virtue and you will remain vibrant and attractive no matter how old you get.

Make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue… – 2 Peter 1:5

Originally posted 2014-08-01 06:00:23.

Take Charge of Your Life

Vince Frese — Fri, 01 Aug 2025 05:58:39 +0000

I was so mad I was slamming my fingers down on the keys of my laptop. I was smack-dab in the middle of my divorce, and it seemed like a day didn’t go by where my soon-to-be-former spouse had done something completely outrageous or ridiculous (or both). I was trying to do the right thing by venting my anger in my journal. Most of the time it worked, but on this day it seemed the more I typed, the angrier I became. Finally, afraid that I was going to break my computer, I jumped up and started pacing around the room. As each new angry thought rushed into my head, I raced over to the phone and picked it and started dialing my spouse ready to unleash my anger. Each time, I would come to my senses and hang up the phone. This happened three or four times until I gave up in frustration and went for a long walk.

When I returned, I saw my laptop right where I had left it. It was a reminder of my near meltdown an hour earlier. Instead of picking up where I left off, I was much calmer and my mind was clear. The anger and frustration were gone. In a weird way, I actually felt good. I felt good that I had not let my anger get the best of me. I felt proud of myself for the incredible amount of self-control I was able to muster. While I had failed many times in the past, this time I had taken the more difficult route of not succumbing to my emotions, and I actually felt in charge of my life for the first time in a long time.

When you overcome a temptation or are able to show self-control in the heat-of-the-moment, you turn impending failure into certain success. The more you are able to do this, the easier it gets. The self-confidence, self-respect, and, in general, positive results you receive in return, are the fruits of virtuous living. In this case, the cardinal virtues of temperance, prudence, and fortitude. As with any virtue, practice definitely makes perfect. Next time you are ready to blow your stack, or crumble under temptation, pray for the strength to act with virtue. You will be glad you did!

Make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, virtue with knowledge, knowledge with self-control, self-control with endurance, endurance with devotion, devotion with mutual affection, mutual affection with love. – 2 Peter 1:5-7

Originally posted 2014-06-05 06:00:30.

Treasure Hunt

Vince Frese — Wed, 01 Jan 2025 04:05:04 +0000

At the workshops I give for divorced Catholics, I am often asked how to find the perfect spouse. Many people approach meeting their future spouse like it is a treasure hunt. They believe that the reason they have not met “the one” yet is because they are not looking in the right way, or in the right place. They are hoping for some kind of treasure map with the secret path clearly drawn out, complete with “X marks the spot.” Usually, they are sadly disappointed.

If your vocation is to marriage, the pathway to meeting your future spouse starts with you. Be the person you wish to meet. If you wish to meet a person of deep faith, really live your faith–all of it–even the hard parts. If you wish to meet a person who is honest, be an honest person in all things, not just those things that others know about. If you wish to marry a person who honors commitment, then do the same, even with people who don’t honor theirs. If you want a relationship filled with love, then sacrifice for others, especially people you don’t like, or who don’t like you. Virtue attracts virtue. So, as you strive to live a more authentically virtuous life, you will find yourself crossing paths with some pretty incredible people. Just don’t be shocked when you realize that one of them is you!

For the virtuous his paths are level, to the haughty they are clogged with stones. – Sirach 39:24

Originally posted 2014-11-13 06:00:54.