“I’m miserable” was the reason I got from my former spouse when it was clear there were some serious problems in our marriage. It seems to be the all too common reason why people end their marriage. They are not “happy.” It has become so common that many people accept it as a legitimate reason to file for divorce. It’s not. The general thinking is that one’s spouse is responsible for providing happiness, and if they don’t deliver, toss them out and go find someone who does. Unfortunately, that very thinking will pretty much ensure that you won’t be happy. 

Happiness is one of those things that the harder you try to find it, the less likely you ever will. You see, happiness can’t be delivered to you from someone else. Happiness comes from the inside; it starts with you. It is what you experience when you love others. Not romantic love, per se, but the giving of yourself for the benefit of someone else. Want to be happy? Make other people happy first. This is a guaranteed recipe for personal happiness.

Happy are those who love you,
and happy are those who rejoice in your peace.
Happy too are all who grieve
over all your afflictions,
For they will rejoice over you
and behold all your joy forever. – Tobit 13:14

Originally posted 2014-11-19 06:00:58.