The world offers so many remedies for our emotional pain. Unfortunately, they are usually nothing more than snake oil, holding the promise of healing, but in the end are just an illusion. Jesus is the Real Deal, the Divine Physician, who wants to heal you of your pain and sorrow. While He came over 2,000 years ago, His healing power is still available to all who believe in Him. No one is shut out from His healing love. The key is to ask in faith, and trust in the depth of His love. He will never abandon you.

“I will never forsake or abandon you.” – Hebrews 13:5-6

Originally posted 2014-09-01 06:00:31.

A feeling of dread came over me as I noticed the fat, overstuffed envelope crammed in my mailbox. It was yet another mailing from my attorney. They seemed to be coming almost daily. Somedays they were bills, and on other days they were copies of the many voluminous letters he was sending or receiving. No matter what was in them, they always filled me with anxiety and dread. This put me in a seemingly permanent state of despair. My world became increasing dark as my storm clouds never seemed to lift.

One day, in the midst of my funk, I dragged myself into my counselor’s office and unloaded. She listened patiently and then gave me some very helpful advice. She said, while I could not change my reality, I could change how I was thinking about it. She stressed that thoughts really do impact emotions, and I could improve my outlook by thinking differently. It sounded too simple. Yet, at her urging, I started thinking about ways I could make the best of the outcome of my divorce, whatever it was. If I lost custody of the kids, I would become a teacher at their school so I could see them daily. If I lost all my money, I would move into a small house and start over. If I lost my friends, I would lean on my loving family for support. Instead of focusing just on the negative, I would push myself to inject some positive thought into my anxious mind. It really helped. The bad news didn’t suddenly stop, but I felt more steady emotionally. I was now approaching each day with my chin up and a sturdier attitude. The sun started peeking out from behind my clouds.

Your mind is an amazing gift. How you use it can be the key difference between hope and despair. Choose hope!

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. – Philippians 4:8

Originally posted 2014-06-30 06:00:12.

While it may be too late to save your marriage, it is never to late to take accountability. First, acknowledge what you did wrong before God, preferably in confession. Then, do whatever you can do to make it right. If you were unfaithful, sincerely apologize and acknowledge the pain you caused. If you abused alcohol, drugs, or pornography, seek help. If you were uninvolved with the kids, get involved. If you were irresponsible with money, try to make financial reparations. If there is a chance you can reconcile, explore it in counseling. Whatever it is, now is always a great time to start to make amends.

Ignoring the past and doing nothing is easy. Making things right can be very difficult and often takes a great deal of humility. It’s up to you. Decide now to end the cycle of pain and despair that come with divorce, and start writing a new chapter of your life that is sure to have a happy ending.

Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift. – Matthew 5:23-24

Originally posted 2014-09-19 06:00:49.

The first year after my divorce was overwhelming. Along with being a single parent to three young kids, I was working full-time and trying to put my life back together. I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. My response was to put my head down and push through the many challenges in my day. I took on this uber-independent attitude; I was going to show the world that I could beat divorce.

Fast forward over thirteen years and I can now see that my struggles were greatly intensified because I checked God at the door each day. I would pray to God in the morning and then go about my day as if He didn’t exist. Thankfully, God does exist, whether I am aware of Him or not. My super-busy life, combined with my pride, blinded me to the reality that God is ever-present and always active, not just when I happen to remember Him. In my blindness, I am the one who clumsily shoves God out of the way and hijacks His plan for me.

Fortunately, our God never stops trying to get us back on track, no matter how many times we hijack Him. Be sure to take time throughout your busy day to lift your head up and become aware of how God is always pursuing you and guiding you back to His plan. Like the Energizer Bunny, He never stops!

For we are his handiwork, created in Christ Jesus for the good works that God has prepared in advance, that we should live in them. – Ephesians 2:10

Originally posted 2015-03-23 06:00:44.

Going through my divorce turned my world upside-down. I suddenly started to question everything in my life. What was true? Who could be trusted? It was like my life was thrust into darkness and I was stumbling around trying to gain my bearings. I would talk to anyone who I thought could help me: friends, family, co-workers–even my hairstylist–trying to get the nuggets of wisdom that would help me make sense of my now senseless life. Heck, I would even tune into Oprah hoping that she would say just the right thing that would end my madness. Sadly, not even Oprah could solve my problems.

Originally posted 2014-08-21 06:00:08.

Originally posted 2014-06-19 06:00:35.

Recently, I was digging through the camera roll on my iPad. I was trying to find a picture of one of my daughters when she was young to post on my Facebook page. For some crazy reason, the camera roll on my iPad has all my pictures going back to 1998 — the dawn of digital photography.

As I was scanning the pictures, I made a startling discovery. Since my iPad shows all the pictures grouped by year, I could see in the thumbnails a distinct difference of expressions on the faces of my kids as I scanned. The years leading up to my divorce were, for the most part, happy and smiling. The year of my divorce, and the year after my divorce, it was very apparent that they were not happy. Their smiles were gone; their eyes held the pain they were experiencing. It was very sad.

Yet, as I continued to scroll, you could begin to see a marked difference in their expressions. The smiles were returning and their eyes were filling with joy. This was not by accident. It was the result of my pouring my love into them, day by day, week after week, and it was the impact of countless prayers for their healing. Like a wilted house plant that receives extra care and attention, my kids began to blossom once again.

What do you want to be on your camera roll ten years from now? Sure, your pictures during your divorce will reflect the pain of that time, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. It is up to you the life you live from this point forward, and the resulting memories that will be captured forever in your photos.

If you really live your faith and invite Our Lord into your life, He will heal you. If you pour your love into your kids, you will help heal them. Should you do this, your camera roll will capture the miracle of healing that comes from a life — despite the divorce, despite the pain, and despite the fear — that has been lived in full trust of a God that will never abandon you, a God who so desperately wants to heal you and those you love, and a God who died to give you a life full of abundant peace and joy. So, what’s going to be on your camera roll?

Look to him that you may be radiant with joy, and your faces may not blush with shame. When the poor one called out, the LORD heard, and from all his distress he saved him. – Psalm 34:6-7

Originally posted 2016-04-29 16:04:32.

I am talking to you–yes, you. You know who you are. You are scared and anxious. Your heart is heavy. It is a struggle to get through each day carrying around your worries and fears. Or, maybe you have convinced yourself that everything is fine, yet there is a nagging sense that it’s really not. You are trying to come to grips with the possibility that the rest of your life might be like this. You have always considered yourself a fairly optimistic person, but now you may be starting to lose hope. You wonder if this is what despair is like.

Want to know why you are feeling this way? Want it to stop? If you are nodding your head yes, keep reading. The reason you are feeling this way is because you are putting all your faith and trust in yourself. Oh, sure, in your head you may be telling yourself that you are trusting God, but deep down you really are still putting all your faith in you. You reach out to God like you play the lottery, hoping you will hit it big and all your problems will disappear, all the while mentally preparing yourself to do it all on your own. Unfortunately, you can’t have it both ways.

Putting all your trust in yourself is the source of anxiety and fear. While your conscious mind might be psyching you up to believe that you can handle everything on your own, deep down you know you can’t. The anxiety and fear you experience are the symptoms of this internal conflict. To find peace, acknowledge (even say out loud) that you can’t do it on your own, that you don’t know what to do, and that you really need help. Then, (here’s the important part) surrender control of your life over to Christ. Give Him every single bit and piece of your life–every worry, every fear, every pain, and every dream. Throw yourself at His feet and grab hold and never let go. He GUARANTEES (that’s a pretty strong word) that He will never let you down. Once you really trust in Him and not yourself, peace will begin to flow through your life like a river. I am not saying that suddenly everything will become a piece of cake. No, what I am saying is that when you put all your trust in Christ, you are aligning your life with the reality that you are not God and that you need the One who made you to fully live. Living that Truth creates a relationship, and in that relationship is peace.

Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7

Originally posted 2014-06-04 06:00:30.

At any given time, everyone has some aspect of their life that could be described as in “darkness.”  It could be physical darkness due to an illness with yourself or a loved one. It could be financial darkness due to the loss of a job. Or, it could be emotional darkness due to a divorce. Whatever your darkness is, it is sure to create a lot of fear and anxiety.

The great news is Jesus has provided a pathway out of the darkness: belief in Him. This belief is much more than a mental decision. It requires a total, complete, trust. The kind of clinging-to-the-scrap-of-wood-when-you’re-adrift-in-the-middle-of-a-stormy-sea trust. That piece of wood is your lifeline. Your life depends on it, and you are not letting go of it no matter what. That is the type of trust you must have in Christ. Coming out of darkness is not typically a single event where suddenly the dawn breaks and your world is filled with light. It is typically a process where gradually the darkness fades. It will take time. During this time, cling tightly to Christ and know that He will lead you out of your darkness. He is your lifeline.

“I came into the world as light, so that everyone who believes in me might not remain in darkness.” – John 12:46

Originally posted 2014-06-20 06:00:52.

God has a unique plan for each and everyone of us. He created us with a purpose, a purpose far greater and more noble than we usually can fathom. In fact, we tend to set our sights much lower, and settle for far less, than what God has planned for us.

When divorce hits we can lose sight of God’s plan. The divorce becomes our plan. We then spend our time, energy, and focus working the “divorce” plan. Being divorced becomes our life. It becomes who we are. We look at divorce as our life’s final destination, instead of a detour from something far greater. This is when divorce becomes our dead-end.

Thankfully, God never stops calling us back to His plan. Often times we ignore this. As a result, life becomes much more difficult than it has to be. If you find that you lack a sense of peace, that life has become a never-ending struggle, that you seem to be going in circles and getting nowhere, take a step back. More than likely, you are working your plan, instead of God’s. The struggle and heartache are indicators that you are working against God, not with Him.

Daily prayer, routine confession, and quiet time in front of the Eucharist, are great ways to tune into the Holy Spirit and allow Him to get you back on track. We all need a “realignment” from time-to-time as life, our fears, and our freewill, have a way of pulling us off track. Remember, God has a great plan for you–a plan filled with promise, peace, and joy. Living that plan may not always be easy, but not living it is sure to lead you to a dead-end.

For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. – Jeremiah 29:11

Originally posted 2014-05-19 06:00:01.