In our Voices of Hope DVD, one of the participants, Marty, says, “If you are afraid, God can’t get to you.” It is a very emotionally charged moment as Marty is recalling his struggles dealing with the pain and suffering during his divorce. Marty is no softy. In fact, he is a big, burly guy. A “man’s man”, if you will. Yet, he is choking back tears as he describes his experience. Fear is that powerful.

Marty makes a very vivid point: fear prevents Christ from working in your life. Fear is one of those emotions that can paralyze you and keep you frozen with despair. It robs you of the trust that is the foundation of faith–the very thing that Christ needs to work miracles. The tiniest whisper of faith can overcome the greatest fear. Christ said in the Gospels over and over, “Do not be afraid.”, for good reason. He knows how fear can build walls around hearts and keep Him at bay. Pray for the grace to trust more. Trust is the key to experiencing Christ’s endless love and mercy.

“Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.” – Matthew 14:27

Originally posted 2014-12-22 06:00:14.

I am talking to you–yes, you. You know who you are. You are scared and anxious. Your heart is heavy. It is a struggle to get through each day carrying around your worries and fears. Or, maybe you have convinced yourself that everything is fine, yet there is a nagging sense that it’s really not. You are trying to come to grips with the possibility that the rest of your life might be like this. You have always considered yourself a fairly optimistic person, but now you may be starting to lose hope. You wonder if this is what despair is like.

Want to know why you are feeling this way? Want it to stop? If you are nodding your head yes, keep reading. The reason you are feeling this way is because you are putting all your faith and trust in yourself. Oh, sure, in your head you may be telling yourself that you are trusting God, but deep down you really are still putting all your faith in you. You reach out to God like you play the lottery, hoping you will hit it big and all your problems will disappear, all the while mentally preparing yourself to do it all on your own. Unfortunately, you can’t have it both ways.

Putting all your trust in yourself is the source of anxiety and fear. While your conscious mind might be psyching you up to believe that you can handle everything on your own, deep down you know you can’t. The anxiety and fear you experience are the symptoms of this internal conflict. To find peace, acknowledge (even say out loud) that you can’t do it on your own, that you don’t know what to do, and that you really need help. Then, (here’s the important part) surrender control of your life over to Christ. Give Him every single bit and piece of your life–every worry, every fear, every pain, and every dream. Throw yourself at His feet and grab hold and never let go. He GUARANTEES (that’s a pretty strong word) that He will never let you down. Once you really trust in Him and not yourself, peace will begin to flow through your life like a river. I am not saying that suddenly everything will become a piece of cake. No, what I am saying is that when you put all your trust in Christ, you are aligning your life with the reality that you are not God and that you need the One who made you to fully live. Living that Truth creates a relationship, and in that relationship is peace.

Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7

Originally posted 2014-06-04 06:00:30.

The low point in my divorce came on Christmas morning, about two months after my divorce was filed. I actually got a call from my attorney; he wanted to discuss some aspect of my divorce (he didn’t celebrate Christmas since he was Jewish). I remember getting off that call and thinking, “I will be so relieved when this is all over and I can patch my life back together.” Boy, was I setting my sights low!

Overwhelmed with the pain and intensity of my divorce, all I hoped for out of the rest of my life was to be free of emotional pain. I could not imagine anything greater than that. Little did I know, I was aiming far too low. Fortunately, God was aiming high — very high.

While I would have been satisfied simply to slug through the rest of my life, God had much, much greater plans for me. His plans included using my painful experiences to help tens of thousands of divorced Catholics all over the world, and, ultimately, to meet an incredible woman of faith, get married, blend two families into one, and have a total of seven kids, including the gift of our son. Many years later, as I look back on how God’s plan has played out in my life, I am still blown away.

When you are struggling to look into the future and see anything but a life hobbled by divorce, remember that God’s plans are always far greater than anything you can imagine. While you may be willing to settle for mediocrity, God is ready to give you a mind-blowing life filled with an abundance of peace, joy, purpose, and love. All you need to do is ask!

“Therefore I tell you, all that you ask for in prayer, believe that you will receive it and it shall be yours.” – Mark 11:24

Originally posted 2018-06-07 00:30:15.

If you ever have the privilege of going to Rome and visiting the many ancient Catholic churches, you will often see incredibly beautiful tapestries hanging from the walls.  Usually, these tapestries depict some scene from Scripture. These amazing tapestries were painstakingly made by hand with countless strands of thread. When they are all woven together, they create magnificent works of art that uplift and inspire. Ironically, if you turn one over and look at the back, what you see doesn’t resemble anything like the beautiful front. Often, it looks like a hodgepodge of threads that is actually quite ugly.

Originally posted 2013-07-09 06:00:26.

One day, I had taken my four-year-old to the park to play. He loves the swings, so he made a bee-line for them as soon as we got there. In his typical independent way, he wanted to learn how to “pump” his legs so he didn’t need me to push him anymore. The more he tried, the more frustrated he became.

Next to him was a little girl, roughly his same age. She was laying on the swing on her stomach running as far ahead a she could before her feet left the ground, giggling as she glided backward. My son heard her laughing and stopped to watch her. The longer he watched, the more the frown on his face turned into a smile as he sensed her joy. Then, to completely share in her joy, he jumped off the swing, came around behind it, laid down on it, and began doing the same run/glide swinging as his new found friend. Soon, they were both running, gliding, and laughing together.

That is Christ’s invitation for you. When you are feeling particularly frustrated or sad, look to Christ and share in His joy. Receiving the Eucharist, praying in adoration, or listening to Christian music are some great ways to experience the contagion of Christ’s joy. It is a surefire way to turn any frown upside-down.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the holy Spirit. – Romans 15:13

Originally posted 2014-05-12 06:00:34.

My greatest lament during my divorce was the break up of my family. I knew in my heart that what was best for my kids was for them to be raised in an intact family by both parents. Because of the divorce, that dream was crushed. I felt so badly for my kids. I felt like they were going to suffer greatly without a “real” family. It broke my heart.

Even if I am to be poured as a libation upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. – Philippians 2:17

Originally posted 2013-07-30 23:03:53.

     Be still, my soul–the Lord is on thy side!
     Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
     Leave to thy God to order and provide–
     In every change he faithful will remain.
     Be still my soul–thy best, thy heavenly friend
     Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.*  

 For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe! plans to give a future full of hope. – Jeremiah 29:11  

Text: Psalm 46:10
Author: Catharine Amalia Dorothea von Schlegel, 1752, cento
Translated by: Jane Borthwick, 1855
Titled: “Stille, mein Wille”
Composer: Jean Sibelius, b. 1865, arr.

Originally posted 2014-09-05 06:00:50.

Ever feel like an outsider or a rookie in your faith? Does it seem like everyone else has a much deeper faith? Not sure if all this is really true? Feel like you have made too many mistakes to still be accepted by the Church? Feel like an outsider? You are not alone. One of the most famous and respected persons in the Catholic Church, St. Augustine, felt the same way. In fact, he was a rebel who lived a very secular life, doubted Christianity, and refused to practice his faith. It took him most of his life before he had a powerful conversion experience that made him realize that Christ had been pursuing him his entire life. Christ never gave up on him. Christ will never give up on you. No matter what you have done, or fail to do. Believe it!

Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you!
You were within me, but I was outside, and it was there that I searched for you.
In my unloveliness I plunged into the lovely things, which you created.
You were with me, but I was not with you.
Created things kept me from you; yet if they had not been in you they would not have been at all.
You called, you shouted, and you broke through my deafness.
You flashed, you shone, and you dispelled my blindness.
You breathed your fragrance on me; I drew in breath and now I pant for you.
I have tasted you, now I hunger and thirst for more.
You touched me, and I burned for your peace.

The Confessions of St. Augustine

Originally posted 2015-01-07 06:00:33.

I remember as a kid, my brother and I went rafting down a river by our house. We played this game where we would take turns going down this particular stretch of rapids in a raft. I would jump in the water, grab the rope, and navigate the raft through the rapids while my brother took a ride. I would then pull the raft back up to the top of the rapids and switch places. This would go on for hours until we were both exhausted. I distinctly remember that the trip down the river was certainly more exciting. It was also much easier because I was swimming with the current. The trip back up was so much more difficult because I was literally swimming upstream while pulling the raft and my brother.

The above story describes well our typical relationship with God. Unfortunately, we spend much of our time pushing back against His will. We want to do it our way and on our timeframe. This is like swimming upstream. It is very difficult and emotionally exhausting. When we follow God’s will, it doesn’t mean it is going to be easy. Like the rapids I had to navigate while pulling my brother, doing God’s will is often scary and uncertain. Yet, instead of fighting against the current of His will, we are carried along with it. God actually participates with us. This makes doing His will easier. Remember this as you hit various struggles in your life. If you find yourself overwhelmed and emotionally exhausted, chances are you are working against God’s will. Take your struggle into prayer and ask God to reveal His will. He is sure to guide you downstream to more peaceful waters.

“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.” – Matthew 11:28-30

Originally posted 2014-05-26 06:00:28.

“I can’t ever imagine my life without this overwhelming pain,” I managed to choke out between my sobs to my counselor. It had been about three months after my divorce was filed, and I was overwhelmed with grief. I believed the rest of my life was going to be filled with the intense emotional pain I was experiencing, and I knew I couldn’t bear it. I had truly lost hope for my future and was at the point of total despair.

My very wise counselor made one simple suggestion that made a huge, positive impact. She suggested that I reflect on my faith. She went on to explain that faith is a decision. If I exclude the reality of God from my life, then there is nothing to hope for and grief turns into despair. However, if I include the reality of God in my life, there is always something greater — no matter the grief and pain. It is this reality that is the reason for hope. Her gentle reminder about my faith was a real paradigm shift in how I viewed my situation.

Faith is a decision that we all must make at some point in our lives. We must decide that either this world is all there is or there is something beyond this life that is so much greater. Our decision is what makes all the difference.

Grief is an indicator of transition — a change, a letting go. When Our Lord is brought into this transition, He will bring new life. Even though this new life may not be what we had planned, because it is built on trust in Christ, there ultimately will be joy — a joy that this physical world can’t touch.

And that is exactly what happened to me, and it can happen to you too. Believe.

“Amen, amen, I say to you, you will weep and mourn, while the world rejoices; you will grieve, but your grief will become joy.” — John 16:20

Originally posted 2018-02-15 00:30:44.