“Why are you taking pictures of a church that doesn’t care about its people?!” were the words that rudely broke the silence as I was trying to inconspicuously take a few pictures of a magnificent old church near where I was visiting. I turned around to see a disheveled older man who clearly hadn’t had a bath, or shave, in quite some time. He went on with his complaints, ending with, “They don’t try to help. They just want to judge.”

Startled, and embarrassed for being more obvious than I had hoped, I blurted out, “I promise you, you are in a house of love.” Having no idea where those words came from, I was now feeling even more embarrassed as the situation veered a little more out of my control. I never expected to be thrust into the role of a preacher to the homeless when I innocently walked into the church that morning. My new friend paused for a few seconds to take in what I had just said. Then his gaze softened, and he asked, “Really?” I replied, “Yes, really.”

I was starting to feel good for doing my part to instill some hope into the hopeless when he broke into a rather toothless smile and asked, “Hey, do you think you could spare some change for someone who has none?” I guess he was now holding me accountable to my promise. I numbly reached into my pocket and pulled out the first bill I felt and handed it to him. His eyes got as big as saucers as he took the $20 bill from my hand. Clearly, it was way more than he (and I) was expecting. Next came a litany of “Bless you, bless you!” as he walked away very happy.

I would like to believe that I changed that man’s impression of the Church that day–even if just for a day. His complaints were really cries for help and compassion. He had wanted to believe that the Church would live up to its reputation as a sanctuary of love. When he didn’t experience that, he became disillusioned and bitter.

When experiencing divorce, we have all been like this man. Desperate, we turn to the Church and beg for help and mercy, trusting that it is there. Sadly, too often, we are disappointed. Don’t give up. No matter what your past experience has been, our Church has been a direct channel for God’s love and mercy for more than 2,000 years. And it still is. At its core is Jesus Christ–love personified. While it is true that in the past the Church has been deaf to the needs of divorced Catholics, change is happening. Your cries have been heard, and, like my new friend, you are bound to receive much more than you expected.

“When, however, this leaving one’s father and mother, and joining oneself to a woman, and going forward… when this love fails – because many times it fails – we have to feel the pain of the failure, [we must] accompany those people who have had this failure in their love. Do not condemn. Walk with them – and don’t practice casuistry [deceptive reasoning] on their situation.” – Pope Francis, Homily, February 28, 2014

Originally posted 2014-12-17 06:00:39.

The world offers so many remedies for our emotional pain. Unfortunately, they are usually nothing more than snake oil, holding the promise of healing, but in the end are just an illusion. Jesus is the Real Deal, the Divine Physician, who wants to heal you of your pain and sorrow. While He came over 2,000 years ago, His healing power is still available to all who believe in Him. No one is shut out from His healing love. The key is to ask in faith, and trust in the depth of His love. He will never abandon you.

“I will never forsake or abandon you.” – Hebrews 13:5-6

Originally posted 2014-09-01 06:00:31.

Originally posted 2014-06-19 06:00:35.

Recently, I traveled out-of-town to a major American city. Fortunately, there was a Catholic Church within walking distance from my hotel. One morning, I arrived just as Mass was starting and slipped into a side pew. I was struck by two things. First, the incredible beauty of the church. The painted ceilings, marble columns, and stained glass were magnificent and filled me with awe. Second, was the extreme diversity of the people. I was surrounded by rich people, poor people, old people, young people, professionals, blue-collar laborers, blacks, whites, Asians and Hispanics – a real mishmash of people. Despite our differences, we were all sharing equally in God’s greatest expression of love for us: His Son fully present in the Eucharist.

This experience made me think about how God must view divorced Catholics. Each of us has our own story, our own experience, that makes us unique. Yet, God loves us all the same. He doesn’t distinguish between how long we were married, who was at fault, who was more committed to their marriage or their faith, or who suffered more. To Him, we all look the same, and we are all welcome in His House. Remember that the next time you feel a sense of shame about your divorce. We all belong to Him and His Church!

For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. – 1 Corinthians 12:12

Originally posted 2014-12-18 06:00:56.

One of the most frustrating aspects of going through a divorce (or any painful situation, really) is that as much as you would like, you can’t snap your fingers and make it all go away. It seems that just when you have solved one problem, or suffered through yet another emotional experience, there is another right behind it. Life can become a grind. This is when you can become hopeless and feel like God has abandoned you.

Guess what? God knows EVERYTHING. He knows everything that has happened to you (and everything that will), and He knows exactly how you are feeling. Because He honors your free will, he rarely comes in and saves you from yourself. What He does do is long for you to show your trust in Him by living your faith, especially on the really difficult days when you are not sure what you believe. Those are the days that you are not acting out of feelings, but out of your will. A will that chooses God over yourself. You see, God is in it with you for the long haul. He is with you day by day as you trudge through life trying to make it all make sense, battling frustration, hopelessness, and despair. When you muster the courage and obedience to live your faith, to believe even when you are not sure, and to act even when your feelings are telling you it’s not worth it, that’s when the blessings flow. This faithfulness is what God will reward everyday, even though you may not see it or feel it. It is only in the looking back that you can more clearly see how God has loved you all along the way.

I have been crucified with Christ; yet I live, no longer I, but Christ lives in me; insofar as I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God who has loved me and given himself up for me. – Galatians 2:19-20

Originally posted 2014-07-11 06:00:35.

When you read the Catechism of our Catholic faith, you will certainly see that our faith also has many clearly defined requirements, guidelines, and, well, I guess you can call them, “rules.” Catholics seem to have a rule for everything. While these rules can be comforting, and give you trusted guidance as you navigate through life, they can also seem oppressive and punitive. This is especially true when you experience divorce. Suddenly, you have to abide by a set of doctrines that are unknown, unfamiliar, and might even seem downright unfair. This can add insult to injury, just at the time in your life when what you need more than anything is acceptance, encouragement, and support.

Originally posted 2014-10-21 06:00:07.

Many of us approach our relationship with God the same way. We expect to request and to receive, and nothing more. God has become our personal genie to fulfill our every request. Our relationship with God becomes largely a transactional one. We ask. He gives. Transaction completed. Sadly, this approach drastically limits the power of God to work in our lives. We limit our expectations to getting only what we ask for, and nothing more.

Instead, we should take a relational approach with God. Like a parent to their children, we must understand that God is always engaged in our lives seeking our greater good, whether we want it, or ask for it. If only teenagers understood how much more their parents are willing to give them. Yet, they tend to pull close to their parents when they want something, and push them away when they don’t. The relationship becomes like a yo-yo.

Don’t let that happen with God. Strive to keep Him ever-present in your mind and your life. Try to develop the habit of prayer throughout your day by sprinkling your day with heart-felt conversations with God, moments of quiet reflection, and an awareness for how God is working in your life. When you do, your relationship with God deepens. In turn, your awareness of His immense love and concern for you grows. He no longer is your genie. He becomes your closest friend, most trusted advisor, and greatest advocate.

I trust in you, Lord; I say “You are my God.” My destiny is in your hands. – Psalm 31:15-16

Originally posted 2014-09-11 06:00:19.

Going through divorce often feels like a battle. Each day can be a fight just to keep your head above water, often doing the work of two people. All the while dealing with the extremely difficult emotional issues that a divorce invariably brings. It can be overwhelming and so discouraging. Recognize that the source of these struggles may not be just from this world–or your ex. The evil one delights in creating despair and disillusionment. He uses these emotions to make you doubt God’s love and draw you away from the very source of hope and healing. Jesus, on the other hand, is the encourager and protector of your soul. While suffering is certainly a part of life after divorce, Our Lord provides a way to persevere by offering His angels for strength and protection.  Turn to them in your time of need. They can be powerful defenders in your battle with those whispering in your ear to give up.

Originally posted 2013-11-06 11:00:35.

I fell into the very trap that so many fall into. When faced with a problem or dilemma, we fly into action and work and work to try and fix it. We can get so busy trying to make the problem go away, we squeeze God out of the situation. In all our hyperactivity, we block God from working. What we should do instead is back-off, acknowledge our weakness to God, and give Him some elbow room to work with us to find a solution. We don’t need to push every button and pull every lever. God knows much better than we do what is best. If only we gave Him a little room to work. Try it next time you are struggling with a problem. Invite God into the problem and step back and let Him work. You will be amazed at how much better things turn out.

For we rejoice when we are weak but you are strong. What we pray for is your improvement. – 2 Corinthians 13:9

Originally posted 2014-04-29 06:00:11.

“Singing is praying twice,” said St. Augustine. He understood that the power of music and song can lift our hearts and minds to God in ways that nothing else can. The song, “Blessings,” by Laura Story, is a wonderful example of this. This song speaks so beautifully to the truth that, even in our sufferings, God is present healing us and showering us with His mercy. I pray its truth resonates with you.

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe

‘Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It’s not our home

‘Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

© Laura Story

You expired, Jesus, but the source of life gushed forth for souls, and the ocean of mercy opened up for the whole world. O Fount of Life, unfathomable Divine Mercy, envelop the whole world and empty Yourself out upon us. – Divine Mercy Chaplet

Originally posted 2014-08-11 06:00:28.