House of Love

“Why are you taking pictures of a church that doesn’t care about its people?!” were the words that rudely broke the silence as I was trying to inconspicuously take a few pictures of a magnificent old church near where I was visiting. I turned around to see a disheveled older man who clearly hadn’t had a bath, or shave, in quite some time. He went on with his complaints, ending with, “They don’t try to help. They just want to judge.”

Startled, and embarrassed for being more obvious than I had hoped, I blurted out, “I promise you, you are in a house of love.” Having no idea where those words came from, I was now feeling even more embarrassed as the situation veered a little more out of my control. I never expected to be thrust into the role of a preacher to the homeless when I innocently walked into the church that morning. My new friend paused for a few seconds to take in what I had just said. Then his gaze softened, and he asked, “Really?” I replied, “Yes, really.”

I was starting to feel good for doing my part to instill some hope into the hopeless when he broke into a rather toothless smile and asked, “Hey, do you think you could spare some change for someone who has none?” I guess he was now holding me accountable to my promise. I numbly reached into my pocket and pulled out the first bill I felt and handed it to him. His eyes got as big as saucers as he took the $20 bill from my hand. Clearly, it was way more than he (and I) was expecting. Next came a litany of “Bless you, bless you!” as he walked away very happy.

I would like to believe that I changed that man’s impression of the Church that day–even if just for a day. His complaints were really cries for help and compassion. He had wanted to believe that the Church would live up to its reputation as a sanctuary of love. When he didn’t experience that, he became disillusioned and bitter.

When experiencing divorce, we have all been like this man. Desperate, we turn to the Church and beg for help and mercy, trusting that it is there. Sadly, too often, we are disappointed. Don’t give up. No matter what your past experience has been, our Church has been a direct channel for God’s love and mercy for more than 2,000 years. And it still is. At its core is Jesus Christ–love personified. While it is true that in the past the Church has been deaf to the needs of divorced Catholics, change is happening. Your cries have been heard, and, like my new friend, you are bound to receive much more than you expected.

“When, however, this leaving one’s father and mother, and joining oneself to a woman, and going forward… when this love fails – because many times it fails – we have to feel the pain of the failure, [we must] accompany those people who have had this failure in their love. Do not condemn. Walk with them – and don’t practice casuistry [deceptive reasoning] on their situation.” – Pope Francis, Homily, February 28, 2014

Originally posted 2014-12-17 06:00:39.

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8 thoughts on “House of Love

  1. My Catholic parish has sustained me and offered me love, mercy, and compassion. I went to a retreat that was being offered six months after my husband of 20 years had moved out. This retreat is called Christ Renews His Parish. I didn’t know one single person going into that retreat. Now, one year later, I have developed friendships with women who are true followers of Jesus Christ. They have walked along side me and given me strength!

  2. The Catholic Church has been there for me. Many great priests, lay people, and fellow parishioners and families have reached out to my kids and me. I just had to ask for help. We have a great Church. Divorce ministry, faith groups, bible studies, our Catholic school for my kids, the sacraments, adoration, Catholic radio/EWTN, daily mass, the bible, catholic books/CDs/movies, and the saints have helped me through the most difficult time of my life. Through it all God has made me better person and I have hope now. My kids and I still struggle but I know we will make it through this difficult time. Please pray for my kids and me and all families.

    • Al, you are living proof of Roman 8:28 and 1Cor 10:13. May God continue to bless you and your family.

  3. The first place I went was to the church, my church. I wanted some help I truly thought I(we) would and could put things back together. The church really had nothing to offer me at that time. I am so sad about that because I thought the church (God) would stand by me and protect me in some way. I know all marriages have ups and downs but how did this happen. How do you go from feeling safe and loved to nothing in a day? What could the church offer to the people who are lost now to help save what truly should be so important ,love between 2 people and their family.

    • I understand where you are coming from. When I went through my divorce 19 years ago, the Church had nothing. The Holy Spirit inspired me to take everything I learned and offer it to help others. If you haven’t already, check out my Recovering from Divorce Online program. It is free.

      Hang in there!

      Live Abundantly,
      Vince

  4. Thank you for your daily inspirations. My husband of 30 years left 4 mo. ago after meeting a women on an online dating service. I have 7 adult children and go to mass daily trying to ease this pain of a death in my spirit and being alone after all these years. I was looking forward to this retirement stage in our lives, traveling, etc. I feel like I have no plan now, everything is gone. In my dreams, I think he will come to the door with a big flower arrangement and tell me he made a mistake. In reality, I know this wont happen. I have good days and bad. He is always on my mind, I wish he wasn’t. Thank you again, Lori

    • Lori,

      I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know the pain and the despair that brings. Cling to Christ by living your Catholic faith as fully as possible. Go to Mass as often as possible and receive the Eucharist. The Real Presence of Christ will bring you healing during this time of grief. Our Lord is walking with you and will comfort and guide you. You will remain in my prayers.

      God bless,
      Vince