The pain of divorce can be so intense that people turn to alcohol, drugs, even relationships, to find relief. Sadly, this type of relief is only temporary. Ignoring this, they figure if one drink didn’t work, two will. If one pill helped, two would help even more. If one relationship didn’t last, the next one […]
I often use the metaphor of a car crash to describe a divorce. Like a car crash, the people going through a divorce emerge very battered and bruised with the scars to show for it. Most people view scars as something bad, something to hide. But that is not how Jesus viewed His scars. His […]
I remember when I was in the throes of my divorce, one of my co-workers said, “I know this is difficult. You deserve to be happy.” I thought, “Yea, she’s right. I do deserve to be happy!” I approached happiness like some kind of life achievement, like graduating from high school. I wanted to graduate from […]
One of the most common reactions to divorce is fear. That is very understandable. Who wouldn’t be scared if their entire life came crashing in around them? The problem with fear is not being scared, that’s normal. The problem is acting on fear. That’s when fear becomes a lousy strategy. Here is a better strategy: hope. Hope is not about […]
Not long ago one of my teenagers was grumbling about not being able to go out with friends because she had mismanaged her money and did not have enough money to buy gas for her car. She was not happy. We had a brief parent/daughter exchange about what lesson she learned from not managing her money properly. I, […]
“You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!” Those were the famous words that Jack Nicholson delivered so passionately in the movie A Few Good Men. And he was right. Many people can’t handle the truth, especially when it sheds light on poor choices or brings on consequences. This is often the case when […]
When the thought to move my kids to a totally new area of town after my divorce first entered my mind, I dismissed it as nonsense. I was a single parent, and I was up to my eyeballs in the day-to-day reality of raising three kids on my own and running a business. Plus, I […]
“This is the third time this month you have been late picking up the kids. You are going to have to figure out a way to be more on time,” I said coldly. My former spouse just looked at me with a mixture of embarrassment and exhaustion. After the kids were gone and the house […]
Each step I took up the stairs was a struggle. It felt like my feet were encased in concrete. It was the night before the court hearing that would determine the outcome of my divorce and the custody of my children. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I didn’t want to […]
Life after my divorce was so uncertain and disorienting. So much had changed. Most of the familiar routines, people, and traditions disappeared. My life felt awkward, almost alien. It really was as if I had been dropped onto Mars. I spent most of my energy numbly fumbling around trying to make sense of the my new life’s landscape. I […]