Love Never Fails

“My daughter wants nothing to do with me.” John said with a quiver in his voice and tears welling up in his eyes. John proceeded to tell me how his kids had become alienated from him because of his divorce. His phone calls went unanswered, and his texts were never returned. He was hurting, and he was ready to give up. He reached out to me as a last-ditch effort to try and figure out what to do.

I advised him to never give up loving his kids. I told him that surely they were in a lot of pain from the divorce, and they were rejecting him because of that pain — for now. I suggested that he continue to text them each week, call them routinely, leaving loving, thoughtful voicemails if they didn’t answer, and never forget important dates in their lives like birthdays, holidays, graduations, etc. I also advised him to go to any events of their’s that were possible. He didn’t need anyone’s permission to sit in the bleachers and watch their game. The bottom line is he needs to remain as active and present a figure in their lives as possible. In the long run, I told him, he could be confident, that no matter what he had done (or not done) in the past, his consistent acts of love would win back his kids’ hearts eventually.

If you are feeling estranged or separated from those you love because of divorce, never stop loving them, no matter what the challenges may be. Our Lord never stopped loving us, even when it meant hours of grueling torture, and death. Love always wins in the end.

Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13:8

Originally posted 2016-04-15 15:08:32.

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8 thoughts on “Love Never Fails

  1. What about when the dad has lied and deceived them but proclaims how much he loves and misses them? How can they believe and trust him now when he refused to be truthful about the relationship with his new wife?

  2. Does Love Never Fails work for the legally separated be at any family gathering where I am present? My husband left me for another and led a secret life for a number of years before. Is there any opportunity for our family to again be together for any occasion. I am willing and feel and can join in family gathering for i.e. a birthday or such. I have forgiven though I was always faithful, and I did not file for separation. I am still a strong member of my Catholic parish and live a celebrate life. I ask this because our grown children and grown grandchildren, youngest is 16 now, are put a very sad position of excluding ONE of us of us from every family ocassion. This usually means there is no occasion where their Father and Grandfather will be present. He is a sick man and his time is clearly limited. I have told him he is welcome where I am present without animosity of any kind displayed. We are both 78 yrs.old now. He refused his daughters invitations, most recently, to be with us for all or part of Christmas day. I sent a brief email saying he was welcome to be with us and all would be well. He refuses to be where I am present. We are at an age where I see no reason not to attempt to heal and join the family, at times, for the sake of our children and grandchildren. We are still married, we have been married for 56 years! Having been legally separated for three. We live separately and in separate locations of some distance. I have gently tried to make a pathway to resolve so much separation of the family but to no avail. He sees our children possibly once a year. I arranged in my life when I was left alone to relocate near family and that was very difficult having to leave my home and every connection. My priority more recently is to promote joining when appropriate and not more division which hurts, I wish to continue to heal and remain true to my marriage vows while living separately peacefully and have happier contacts with our family who love us both. It seems not appropriate for me to continue to invite him to join us as I feel again rejected. I long to have an intact family and avoid painful exclusion of one parent on occasion. Can love never fails work here and how. Thank you. You have helped me to heal and forgive.

    • Theresa,

      Thanks for your comments. Yes, love never fails. It may not be on the timeline, or in the way that you expect, but a loving act will always bear fruit.

      I am so sorry for your separation after 56 years of marriage. However, there is reason to be hopeful. I just got an email from a man who was divorced for five years and got reunited with his wife after she got the help she needed. Nothing is impossible with God. (Matthew 19:26) In the meantime, keep praying and offering sacrifices for your husband to return to his marriage.

      I would also recommend that you keep inviting him to all family events, even if he does not respond. This is a frequent reminder to him knowing that you love him and want him to be a part of the family. As the Daily Inspiration suggests, I would also send him cards for all special events like Christmas, birthdays, etc. Even though it seems like he has given up on the marriage, him knowing that you haven’t may be enough to (eventually) soften his heart.

      I admire your courage and perseverance for remaining committed to your marriage. You are an example for us all.

      Live Abundantly,

  3. Vince, very good advice. I too have endured alienation from my children. A gift from God and a blessing, blogger and author Ryan Thomas has been a good resource and coach for me in dealing with Parental Alienation. He is an adult now who grew up alienated from his father and has reconnected. Brings great insight into what children are likely dealing with and genuinely is working to give alienated parents the tools to navigate the storms. I highly recommend anyone being alienated or estranged from their children to at least check him out. He has some resources that are free and some that are pay for service. Blessings all!

  4. I am experiencing the same reaction from my children. This has been going on for years. All I do is 😢 cry! It is not as bad with my sons but I have not seen or heard from my youngest daughter in at last 4 or 5 years. I write, call, and text with no reply. She is going to be 16 in December. I don’t believe she is even aware of my correspondence because her dad and step mom won’t tell her of my calls,texts, and throws my letters away! I have not given up yet but there has been times. I am 51, can’t drive and live in a nursing home. I had cancer the reason I sent her to her dad’s to live. I ❤️ my children very much! I did not think it would come to this! I am slowly losing hope again and. I pray everyday that I may see her or hear voice again! Don’t give up hope! It is hard but I keep being told that as she grows up she will have a change of ♥️ heart and she will stand up for herself! Christa