Brick by Brick

The crisis of divorce is often like one’s house burning down. When it is all over, all that is left is the charred remains of what was once a marriage. Just like with a burned house, your life must be rebuilt. The first phase involves clearing away the rubble of your life. The next phase […]

Hitting the Wall

I often equate going through a divorce to being in a severe car accident. In both cases you emerge very badly battered and wounded, one emotionally and the other physically. Just as it takes a significant amount of time to heal from the physical injuries of a car accident, it also takes significant time to heal emotionally from […]

Overcoming Fear

One of the most common reactions to divorce is fear. That is very understandable. Who wouldn’t be scared if their entire life came crashing in around them? The problem with fear is not being scared, that’s normal. The problem is acting on fear. That’s when fear becomes a lousy strategy. Here is a better strategy: […]

Pain Instructs

Not long ago one of my teenagers was grumbling about not being able to go out with friends because she had mismanaged her money and did not have enough money to buy gas for her car. She was not happy. We had a brief parent/daughter exchange about what lesson she learned from not managing her […]

Made for Greatness

It is very easy to become disillusioned with our faith and with God when dealing with the crushing difficulty of divorce. It can be a lonely time, and God can feel very distant. We can become resigned to thinking that our lot in life is to endure some form of misery for the remainder of our […]

Sure Bet

One time, as I was walking through a casino in Las Vegas, I heard a lot of cheering and commotion coming from a roulette table. Curiosity got the best of me, and I wandered over to see what was going on. I got there just in time to see the roulette operator slide three large […]

Don’t Settle

I know a wonderful, godly woman who was married for over 30 years to a great man who loved her very much and treated her like a queen. One day, her husband died suddenly. As you would expect, she struggled greatly with the loss. Eventually, driven by loneliness, she started dating again. She met a […]

Simplify

I have a 104 year-old grandmother, Nonni.*  Until recently, she lived by herself. Whenever I would go to visit her, I was always struck by how simple a life she lived compared to me. She lived in a tiny, one bedroom apartment with only a bed and a few pieces of furniture. She does not […]