“This feels like a death,” I distinctly remember telling my mother on a very cold, and very lonely, November day, shortly after my divorce was filed. A divorce is a death—the death of a marriage. And with it comes all the same feelings of grief that are associated with a physical death. And like a physical death, a period of mourning follows the divorce. The loss of all the dreams, commitments, traditions, and intimate bonds that make up a marriage must be mourned in order for healing to occur.

Christ has a special place in His heart of those who are mourning. In His Sermon on the Mount, He said “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” The word “blessed” means “to set apart.” For those who are grieving the loss of their marriage, He is speaking directly to you. He has set you apart for an abundance of His healing mercy and love. You have a special place of honor in the heart of  The King. He has made it His mission to pay special attention to you during this difficult time and nurse you back to the fullness of life. Rest in His merciful arms and allow Him to carry your pain and heal your wounded heart.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” – Matthew 5:4

Originally posted 2015-01-02 06:00:19.

I have a Facebook Friend who went through a divorce several years ago. I finally had to block her posts because every comment was tinged with anger and bitterness. Sadly, she is a prisoner to pain of the past she has bundled up and drags around with her everyday. It has become a heavy burden that weighs her down and robs her (and everyone around her) of peace and joy. The lines on her face speak to the lines of hate etched on her heart.

In her mind she is justified because of the injustice done to her by her former spouse. The reality is she will be trapped in the past, and all its pain, until she lets go of it. The only way to do that is to forgive. Forgiveness, at its core, is the letting go of the claim you have on your right to be angry and bitter toward the person who hurt you. It is not about what they do or don’t deserve; it’s about you. It is the only way you will ever heal from the wounds of your past. Write it down, underscore it, and highlight it. Begin today to pray for the grace you need to forgive those who hurt you and reap the peace and joy tomorrow of a prisoner who has been set free.

The song, Forgiveness, by Matthew West captures this truth quite well. If you are struggling with forgiveness, its worth reading these lyrics closely:

Forgiveness
It’s the hardest thing to give away
And the last thing on your mind today
It always goes to those who don’t deserve

It’s the opposite of how you feel
When the pain they caused is just too real
Takes everything you have to say the word

Forgiveness
It’s always angers own worst enemy
Even when the jury and the judge
Say you’ve got a right to hold a grudge
It’s the whisper in your ear saying, “set it free”

Forgiveness
Lord, show me how to love the unlovable
Teach me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible

Forgiveness
It can clear the bitterness away
It can even set a prisoner free
There is no end to what its power can do

So, let it go and be amazed
By what you see through eyes of Grace
The prisoner that it really frees is you
Forgiveness

(c) Matthew West
See more at: http://matthewwest.com/the-stories/the-story-forgiveness/

Then Peter approaching asked him, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.” – Matthew 18:21-22

Originally posted 2014-10-02 06:00:55.

It was a little after midnight and I lay there in bed; the house was empty. It was New Year’s Eve and my parents took the kids for the night to give me some time off just in case I wanted to “celebrate.” Yeah, right, like I had something to celebrate. My divorce had just hit three months earlier, and while everyone else was celebrating love, life, and future prosperity, I was laying on that cold bed, in that empty house, feeling very, very alone. I had cried all the tears I could cry, and I had prayed—no, begged— God to save my marriage. Now I was left to face the reality that my marriage was over, and I was alone, possibly forever.

Oh, how I wish someone would have come along and snapped me out of my pity-filled stupor! I was too numbed by my own pain to be able to sense God’s loving presence with me on that dark, lonely night. What I failed to grasp was that I was no different than all the other suffering souls through the ages that had come before me. God’s promise to never forget His people was made to me and to you, too. No matter the depths of your pain, or the hopelessness of your circumstances, God is always present, always loving, always patiently accompanying you on your most difficult of paths. You are never alone. He will never forget you.

Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you. – Isaiah 49:15

Originally posted 2014-11-04 06:00:35.

Several minutes later, I was snapped out of my trance yet again. This time, with some agitation in my step, I walked toward the family room to turn down the music myself. Just as I was about to enter the room, I stopped dead in my tracks when I noticed my son’s reflection in the TV. Not aware that anyone was watching him, he was dancing with abandon to the music. I watched for several minutes as he let his body freely express what his heart was feeling. My agitation melted away as I saw this little boy express his joy—a joy free of any burden or worry.

God gives us all the gift of true joy. In fact, it is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Sadly, too often, it is buried under layers of pain, worry, and regret. Christ gave us the sacraments, particularly reconciliation, as His way of peeling away these layers and freeing us from our burdens. Frequent the sacraments and your life will once again dance with joy!

So you also are now in anguish. But I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy away from you. – John 16:22

Originally posted 2014-10-20 06:00:34.

A woman recently told me that her biggest fear is she would die alone with just her cats. Her view of the future just seemed to communicate a deep sense of hopelessness. It makes me think of what the souls in Hell must have felt before Christ came and freed them. They had nothing to look forward to except endless suffering. They had no reason to be hopeful. They knew nothing of Jesus and His plan for salvation.

But we know the rest of the story. Christ died on the cross and went down to Hell and freed those souls held captive (Catechism of the Catholic Church, sections 631 – 634). Can you imagine their experience of joy when Christ burst open those doors, reached down, grabbed those to be saved, and brought them to their rightful place in Heaven? Off the charts, I am sure! He transformed their hopelessness into abundant peace and joy. Christ offers the same promise to you. He wants to burst open the doors of your pain and suffering, reach into your life, and lead you out of your personal Hell. Cling to Him in prayer and the Sacraments and expect for Him to transform your life in a powerful way. He will come!

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the holy Spirit. – Romans 15:13

Originally posted 2014-06-10 06:00:16.