Be still, my soul–the Lord is on thy side!
     Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
     Leave to thy God to order and provide–
     In every change he faithful will remain.
     Be still my soul–thy best, thy heavenly friend
     Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.*  

 For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe! plans to give a future full of hope. – Jeremiah 29:11  

Text: Psalm 46:10
Author: Catharine Amalia Dorothea von Schlegel, 1752, cento
Translated by: Jane Borthwick, 1855
Titled: “Stille, mein Wille”
Composer: Jean Sibelius, b. 1865, arr.

Originally posted 2014-09-05 06:00:50.

Recently, a woman shared a story with me about how she had to deal with a very tense situation with her former husband. She explained how she had to wait in line with him for over an hour to get a utility bill changed into her name. He was not making it any easier on her by being very impatient and unpleasant. By the time they got to the window, her former spouse became more obnoxious, making the situation extremely uncomfortable for her and the account representative. During this entire time, she kept her cool. When everything was completed, and her former spouse had left, the account rep complimented this woman on how well she had handled this very difficult situation. Clearly, her patience, self-restraint, and dare I say, charity, spoke volumes.

The woman could have pulled the rip-cord on the entire situation by refusing to deal with her former spouse. But she didn’t. She pressed on, and in doing so, allowed God to bless her and the people around her. So often, we want to cut and run from difficult situations instead of allowing God to bless us in these moments. God only works in the present moment. By being open to how He is working in each moment, even the very trying ones, gives us the opportunity to receive His blessings. This willingness to endure allows blessings to flow and ultimately shared by all involved–even obnoxious former spouses.

Make me a channel of your peace. – Prayer of St. Francis

Originally posted 2014-03-20 11:00:22.

One night, I was in a boat with my brother on a lake near where I live. We could see lightning in the distance and thought that it was far away. It was getting late and we decided to head back to the dock. We were about 15 minutes into a 30 minute boat ride, when suddenly, the storm was upon us! Lightening was everywhere. Thunder boomed so loudly that it made the boat shake. Rain was pouring down, and visibility was less than a foot. We were being tossed around by the now violent swells. Here we were in the middle of a very large lake, at night, in a raging thunderstorm. To say I was nervous was an understatement–I was terrified! My brother calmly took control of the situation and guided us back to safety, albeit a little wet. It felt so good to get out of the storm and back on dry land.

This is a good metaphor for how we are called to act in the middle of the storm of divorce. We are called to lead: to lead in charity with our former spouse, to lead in patience with our kids, to lead in faith with our family, to lead in hope with the divorced in our community. It is easy to be afraid and to think only of ourselves. Yet, as Christians, we are called to lead those around us closer to Christ by our example–even our ex. So, when your divorce storm rages, lead the way back to the firm footing of our Savior with your love.

Blessed the one whom you guide, Lord, whom you teach by your instruction. — Psalm 94:12

Originally posted 2014-04-10 06:00:29.

Recently, a woman shared a story with me about how she had to deal with a very tense situation with her former husband. She explained how she had to wait in line with him for over an hour to get a utility bill changed into her name. He was not making it any easier on her by being very impatient and unpleasant. By the time they got to the window, her former spouse became more obnoxious, making the situation extremely uncomfortable for her and the account representative. During this entire time, she kept her cool. When everything was completed, and her former spouse had left, the account rep complimented this woman on how well she had handled this very difficult situation. Clearly, her patience, self restraint, and dare I say, charity, spoke volumes.

The woman could have pulled the rip-cord on the entire situation by refusing to deal with her former spouse. But she didn’t. She pressed on, and in doing so, allowed God to bless her and the people around her. So often, we want to cut and run from difficult situations instead of allowing God to bless us in these moments. God only works in the present moment. By being open to how He is working in each moment, even the very trying ones, gives us the opportunity to receive His blessings. This willingness to endure allows blessings to flow and ultimately shared by all involved–even obnoxious former spouses.

Make me a channel of your peace. – Prayer of St. Francis

Originally posted 2014-10-06 06:00:49.

Do you think that you’re not getting God’s attention by your prayers? We pray heart-felt prayers for intentions that we feel certain God should answer. We pour out our hearts day after day, yet we feel as though nobody is listening. Sometimes we wonder if God even cares. Well, consider the story of St. Monica. St. Monica had a son, Augustine, who by all accounts was a cad. He dishonored his parents by running around with scads of women and enjoyed all of life’s worldly pleasure in a very public way. The farthest thing from his mind was a relationship with the God of his mother’s liking. Of course, this was the very thing that his mother, Monica, prayed for most of all. Monica suffered as she watched her son drift farther and farther from the Truth, putting his soul in peril, but she continued to trust that God would answer her prayers for her son’s conversion. After 22 years her prayers were finally answered, and in a very powerful way! Augustine is not only a powerful saint of the Catholic Church, but he was even named one of the few Doctors of the Church for his incredible understanding and writings of our Faith.

This is what is called the “slingshot” effect of persistent prayer. If you expect your prayers to be heard and answered immediately, they may have the impotence of a slingshot, which has been pulled back only slightly, therefore, lending it very little power. You may get a temporary or partial answer to your prayer. On the contrary, if you pull your slingshot of prayer back so far with your constant and trust-filled prayer, you’ll see that your target will far surpass your immediate needs by God’s generous Love. So keep pestering God with your heart-felt prayers and never give up because He hears you, He loves you and is listening. He can be trusted to teach you to be an accomplished marksman!

Pray without ceasing. – 1 Thessalonians 5:17

Originally posted 2014-08-26 06:00:52.

Then, a very faint voice started to grow louder and louder in my head. It was as if I sat on the remote control to my TV and happened to land on the volume button. This almost imperceptible voice steadily grew into a roar that I could not ignore. I was searching for the “mute” button to silence my mind, but couldn’t find it. I kept hearing, “It’s not all about you.” I was so caught up in my own self-righteousness, I failed to even consider my ex’s own circumstances: the long hours on the job, the grind of the daily commute, the struggles to make ends meet, and the trying to spend time with the kids. Nope, it was all about me. I suddenly felt very small and petty.

It is so easy to get caught up in our own perspective and lose sight of the true meaning of life. Why are we even here? Is it just about meeting a schedule, making enough money, or finding our own personal satisfaction and happiness? Is that the sum total of life? No. It’s about love. That is the only yardstick God will use when we stand before Him. He will judge our lives simply by how well we loved—everyone—including our former spouse. In the end, it is all that really matters.

I came to learn that love doesn’t necessarily mean like. While I found my former spouse difficult to like, I was still called to love by being patient, understanding, and flexible. While sometimes very difficult to do, love is the pathway to peace here on Earth, and the key to eternal life with love personified: Jesus Christ.

“But to you who hear I say, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” – Luke 6:27-28

Originally posted 2014-10-27 06:00:29.

It is very easy to become disillusioned with our faith and with God when dealing with the crushing difficulty of divorce. It can be a lonely time, and God can feel very distant. We can become resigned to thinking that our lot in life is to endure some form of misery for the remainder of our days. We can tell ourselves that we must not be one of the “chosen” few.

Let’s stop and think about this for a minute. Do you really think that we have a God that created us out of love and then dumped us to squirm and sweat under the weight of life’s challenges? Is that the kind of God we have? If it is, I am turning in my Catholic card!

The truth is, you have a God that is not only accompanying you during your life, but is cheering you on to levels that you can’t even fathom. When you face a challenge, God provides you with everything you need to not simply endure it, and not just overcome it, but to bring something GREAT out of it! You are not grinding through these immense challenges just to have a scar when it’s over. No! Rest assured, God created you for GREATNESS. Everything you touch, that you unite with Him, will be transformed into the greatest of great!

Your faith, your character, your compassion, your patience, your ability to love, all become great because of these trials. You will become a great parent because of the sacrifices you have made for your children. You will be a great example for other Catholics because you have decided to take the narrow way and really live your faith–all of it. Your greatness will shine out of the darkness because you were created for nothing less. No hardship, no broken promises, no shattered dreams, and no one else’s selfishness is going to keep you from realizing the greatness for which you were created. You simply need to believe. God will take care of the rest!

For we are his handiwork, created in Christ Jesus for the good works that God has prepared in advance, that we should live in them. – Ephesians 2:10

Originally posted 2014-09-25 06:00:48.