Originally posted 2014-09-08 06:00:29.

God has a unique plan for each and everyone of us. He created us with a purpose, a purpose far greater and more noble than we usually can fathom. In fact, we tend to set our sights much lower, and settle for far less, than what God has planned for us.

When divorce hits we can lose sight of God’s plan. The divorce becomes our plan. We then spend our time, energy, and focus working the “divorce” plan. Being divorced becomes our life. It becomes who we are. We look at divorce as our life’s final destination, instead of a detour from something far greater. This is when divorce becomes our dead-end.

Thankfully, God never stops calling us back to His plan. Often times we ignore this. As a result, life becomes much more difficult than it has to be. If you find that you lack a sense of peace, that life has become a never-ending struggle, that you seem to be going in circles and getting nowhere, take a step back. More than likely, you are working your plan, instead of God’s. The struggle and heartache are indicators that you are working against God, not with Him.

Daily prayer, routine confession, and quiet time in front of the Eucharist, are great ways to tune into the Holy Spirit and allow Him to get you back on track. We all need a “realignment” from time-to-time as life, our fears, and our freewill, have a way of pulling us off track. Remember, God has a great plan for you–a plan filled with promise, peace, and joy. Living that plan may not always be easy, but not living it is sure to lead you to a dead-end.

For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. – Jeremiah 29:11

Originally posted 2014-05-19 06:00:01.

“I hope she rots in Hell!” I screamed at God at the top of my lungs as I drove to work. I had just gotten done listening to my former spouse’s rationale on how our divorce would actually be “good for the kids.” I was so angry and hurt over the pain and distress I knew the divorce would shove into our innocent kids’ lives. They didn’t deserve it, and I felt so helpless to stop it. Too worked up to actually work, I decided to make a detour to my parish church. It was the only place I could go for peace and quiet. Plus, I knew I would not have to talk to anyone there; I could just be by myself for a while. When I arrived, Mass had just started. I slipped into the back and sat there numbly participating. As I walked up to receive communion, I hoped that no one would notice the tears welling up in my eyes. I couldn’t help it. The divorce was shattering not only my life, but my kids’ lives as well. It was not fair! After receiving the Eucharist, I made it back to my pew and knelt to pray. I didn’t have any words. I just knelt and cried. Slowly, a strange feeling of peace filled me. It felt odd. It was such a contradiction to how I was feeling when I walked in. I got a real sense that, despite the storm raging around me, I was safe. It was comforting. I made this trip to Mass part of my morning routine. I looked forward to it each day. It was my port from the storm of divorce. Receiving the Eucharist gave me a tranquility that I desperately needed. Christ became the source of my strength at a time when I had none. Out of my desperation, I was reminded of the greatest gift available to Catholics: Jesus Christ fully present in the Eucharist. He is real. He is there. Receive him as often as possible.

Do not fear: I am with you; do not be anxious: I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand. – Isaiah 41:10

Originally posted 2014-10-17 06:00:35.

As a kid, I can remember watching the old Frankenstein movie, starring Boris Karloff. The part where Frankenstein came to life and sat up with screams of “It’s alive!” from the mad scientist always scared my socks off. Not only was Frankenstein scary looking, his actually coming to life seemed very implausible. It was always a shocker when the impossible became possible.

Like an old movie, we can see Jesus as something from the past. We hear all the stories from the Gospels retold every week. We see pictures, crucifixes, and statues portraying Him. We even see movies about Him. He can easily become just a historical figure who lived 2,000 years ago. After all, His life makes for a great “good overcomes evil” story with the hero conquering certain death. Unlike Frankenstein, Jesus is a true story. Like Frankenstein, Jesus came back to life (and shocked his fair share of people, too!) Fortunately, the story didn’t end there. It continues to unfold every day. You see, Jesus is still alive. He is present in the Eucharist. He is experienced in the Sacraments. He makes Himself known to us when we pray, and through events and other people. He is a living God. Reach out to Him and expect Him to come alive in your life.

Jesus said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” Simon Peter said in reply, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” – Matthew 16:15-16

Originally posted 2015-01-16 06:00:01.

Looking back during the first years of my divorce, I realize I made some pretty dumb mistakes. One of the biggest was to start dating within two weeks after my divorce was final. There were plenty more, trust me. Most of my mistakes seemed totally reasonable at the time. How could that be? How could decisions I made then, seem so ridiculous or wrong now? Because I was acting out of anger, fear, or pain–sometimes out of all three at once.

Originally posted 2014-10-28 06:00:36.

“You’re getting warmer!” my sister yelled from the other side of the yard — my heart beating faster in gleeful anticipation. My siblings and I were engrossed in one of our favorite childhood games. We would hide something, and then the one who was “it” would have to find the object with the help of being told when they were getting closer (“warmer”) or getting further away (“colder”). It was a roller coaster of emotion as you ping-ponged around desperately trying to find the hidden object before time ran out.

I think as adults we tend to play a similar game; however, the hidden object is our peace of mind. Our life circumstances, with all its demands, frustrations, and unplanned realities, hides our peace. We then spend an inordinate amount of time and energy trying to find it again. We seem to be perpetually restless, searching for the peace that we can’t ever quite seem to find.

As with the childhood game, our heart reacts depending on how close we are to living God’s will. The further away, the more restless we become. The closer, the more peace we experience.

The Holy Spirit will guide you to lasting peace. Through prayer and quiet reflection, you can “hear” the Holy Spirit as He continuously gives you guidance. Your heart is sure to grow warmer with peace the closer you come to living God’s will for you.

“When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth.” – John 16:13

Originally posted 2018-05-24 00:30:50.

I want you to stop what you are doing and clear your mind for a few seconds. Good. Now, think back to the greatest gift you ever received in your life. What was it? It could have been a special toy that you really wanted for Christmas, but thought it was impossible for you to receive. It could have been the brand-new car you received for graduation. Maybe it was your father returning home from war–safe and sound. Or, maybe, you were cured of cancer. Whatever it is, let your mind drift back to the day you received that incredible gift. Let those feelings well up inside you once again. Feel it all over again as if it was the first time. Allow yourself to be overwhelmed with joy just like you were on the day you received the greatest gift of your life.

Jesus feels that same way about you.

“Father, they are your gift to me.” – John 17:24

Originally posted 2014-06-12 06:00:02.

Many of us approach our relationship with God the same way. We expect to request and to receive, and nothing more. God has become our personal genie to fulfill our every request. Our relationship with God becomes largely a transactional one. We ask. He gives. Transaction completed. Sadly, this approach drastically limits the power of God to work in our lives. We limit our expectations to getting only what we ask for, and nothing more.

Instead, we should take a relational approach with God. Like a parent to their children, we must understand that God is always engaged in our lives seeking our greater good, whether we want it, or ask for it. If only teenagers understood how much more their parents are willing to give them. Yet, they tend to pull close to their parents when they want something, and push them away when they don’t. The relationship becomes like a yo-yo.

Don’t let that happen with God. Strive to keep Him ever-present in your mind and your life. Try to develop the habit of prayer throughout your day by sprinkling your day with heart-felt conversations with God, moments of quiet reflection, and an awareness for how God is working in your life. When you do, your relationship with God deepens. In turn, your awareness of His immense love and concern for you grows. He no longer is your genie. He becomes your closest friend, most trusted advisor, and greatest advocate.

I trust in you, Lord; I say “You are my God.” My destiny is in your hands. – Psalm 31:15-16

Originally posted 2014-09-11 06:00:19.

Recently, someone posted a very moving plea on our divorcedcatholic.org forum. Here is an excerpt from the post:

I am so sorry for what I have done, but the guilt and heartache over what I have done is crushing me and I want so desperately to reconcile with God and the Church.

Their pain, caused by their own mistake, is so evident.

When dealing with the fallout of divorce, we often seek justice by blaming the offending party. We tend to mentally banish that person to a life of shame. After all, that is their just reward. Right? Well, what Jesus would do?

The Gospel story of the woman caught in adultery (John 8:2-11) gives clear insight into Jesus’s merciful heart. When the woman caught in the act of adultery is brought to Jesus, the Pharisees are certain Jesus will condemn her to death by stoning as the Mosaic law dictates. However, Jesus shocks them by turning the spotlight on their own sinfulness. One by one, they retreat in shame. Jesus then forgives the woman, and instructs her to “Go, and sin no more.”

This is the model of mercy and forgiveness we are all called to follow. If your divorce was caused by your ex, you are called to  forgive them and release them from their guilt and shame. If you were the person who caused your divorce, come to Jesus and know that He stands ready to forgive you, not condemn you. As Jesus made clear to the Pharisees, none of us is perfect. We are all sinners in need of forgiveness. Thankfully, we have a Savior, Jesus, who is always ready to forgive even our most dreadful sins. Go to Him!

For there is no distinction; since all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, they are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus. – Romans 3:22-24

Originally posted 2014-05-28 06:00:56.

 “Of course I want intimacy. Every man and every woman does…I look in the mirror each morning and I tell myself, it’s just not my time. God’s got someone out there for me, it’s just not my time.” says Kerri, a 40-ish, divorced, single parent appearing in the Voices of Hope DVD. When sharing her attitude toward dating and intimacy, Kerri, whether she realized it or not, presented a very hopeful attitude. Kerri is not denying her desire for meeting someone and being married. She says she wants that. What is refreshing about her attitude is her placing complete trust in God for the person He chooses for her, and His timeline. That is hope in action: acknowledging her own desires and then placing the matter completely in God’s hands with a willingness to wait patiently and joyfully for whatever outcome God wants.

Originally posted 2014-10-13 06:00:46.