Unfortunately, going through a divorce these days is a very public matter. Thanks to the wonders of Facebook, Twitter, and email, it seems the entire world knows all the details of your personal life and trials. You can’t help but feel tried in the court of public opinion. As a result, the tendency is to try and “make your case” with all your friends, family, co-workers, and anyone else who will listen. You seek validation and are often willing to get it from wherever you can.

Be careful. The reality is that you have many acquaintances, but very few true friends. A divorce can ignite the flames of gossip and self-interest. Many people can approach you seeming to want to help, but in reality they are only interested in what they can get, even if it is a cheap thrill from the nitty-gritty details of your divorce.

Divorce is a time to be selective whom you confide in. Your parents, your siblings, or a life-long friend, are great advocates for you. They have your best interests at heart, and they tend to have a much clearer perspective on all the events, people, and issues, swirling around you. Pour your heart out to them and listen to them. Fight the temptation to get validation or justification from your neighbors, tennis buddies, or Facebook friends. While it might feel good at first, it rarely will help you in the long run.

Let your acquaintances be many, but one in a thousand your confidant. – Sirach 6:6

Originally posted 2014-07-21 06:00:09.