Hitting the Wall

I often equate going through a divorce to being in a severe car accident. In both cases you emerge very badly battered and wounded, one emotionally and the other physically. Just as it takes a significant amount of time to heal from the physical injuries of a car accident, it also takes significant time to heal emotionally from […]

Yo-Yo

Dealing with teenagers can be a real challenge.  A typical teenager is concerned with one thing in their lives: themselves. As a result, they tend to make their relationship with their parents very transactional. They expect to request and to receive, and nothing more. Give them the car keys, and they are happy. Give them […]

Crazy Betty

I stayed in the house with the kids after the divorce, and I decided I needed to spruce the place up a bit.  A friend had recommended an interior designer to me, named Betty. I came to call her Crazy Betty because she was always hitting on me, and, invariably after our meetings, she would […]

Be Radical

Have you ever had a time during the course of your divorce when you felt like doing something radical? I’ve spoken to many people who have done just that.  Maybe they adopted a totally new look, got a completely new haircut, sold their minivan for a sports car, or started to go clubbing.  When we go […]

The Real Deal

The pain of divorce can be so intense that people turn to alcohol, drugs, even relationships, to find relief.  Sadly, this type of relief is only temporary. Ignoring this, they figure if one drink didn’t work, two will. If one pill helped, two would help even more. If one relationship didn’t last, the next one […]

The Dance

I was standing in the kitchen when all of a sudden the house was flooded with the sound of contemporary music, rudely interrupting my peaceful morning. I knew who the culprit was: my five-year-old son, as this was his usual morning routine. I called out to him to “please turn that down” and went back […]

No Pain. No Gain.

“I can’t believe I did that! Is this me?!,” exclaimed one of our workshop participants (we’ll call her Jayne) after sharing that she recently defended her ex-husband to her family. Evidently, Jayne’s family was giving her a rather hard time about her ex, and she responded by defending him in his absence. What surprised her […]

Mind Over Matter

A feeling of dread came over me as I noticed the fat, overstuffed envelope crammed in my mailbox. It was yet another mailing from my attorney. They seemed to be coming almost daily. Somedays they were bills, and on other days they were copies of the many voluminous letters he was sending or receiving. No […]

Let’s Party!

“It had been more than fifteen years since I had been to confession.” Steve reluctantly revealed to the group during a Divorced Catholic session. He went on to tell us how he finally worked up the courage to get in line one day after Mass and go. It was a huge milestone for him. While […]

Make Room for God

I happened upon this quote a few years after my divorce and it has never failed to renew my hope.  I pray it does for you, too. As servants of God, we must learn to make room for Him-to give God “elbow room.” We plan and figure and predict that this or that will happen, […]