“I can’t forgive him, he’s not sorry for what he did.” was the response from Stacy when she was asked how she felt about forgiving her former spouse. She went on to explain that she thought that, just as in order to receive forgiveness from God for our sins we must be truly sorry, the […]
“I need your help. My son is pulling out his eyebrows.” was the tearful plea from Meg, a woman in my Recovering from Divorce group. I knew that Meg and her former husband were having a very difficult time co-parenting their children. In fact, they were in a “hot war,” fighting pretty much each day. […]
Looking back during the first years of my divorce, I realize I made some pretty dumb mistakes. One of the biggest was to start dating within two weeks after my divorce was final. There were plenty more, trust me. Most of my mistakes seemed totally reasonable at the time. How could that be? How could decisions […]
The pain of divorce can be so intense that people turn to alcohol, drugs, even relationships, to find relief. Sadly, this type of relief is only temporary. Ignoring this, they figure if one drink didn’t work, two will. If one pill helped, two would help even more. If one relationship didn’t last, the next one […]
Going through my divorce turned my world upside-down. I suddenly started to question everything in my life. What was true? Who could be trusted? It was like my life was thrust into darkness and I was stumbling around trying to gain my bearings. I would talk to anyone who I thought could help me: friends, family, […]
There is a famous scene in the 1997 movie, Jerry Maguire, where Jerry (Tom Cruise) is trying to reconcile with his wife, Dorothy (Renee Zellweger). He is trying to convince her that his life is meaningless without her. Then he says these three words: “You complete me.” (And the audience swoons with a collective “Aww…”) […]
My first Thanksgiving was so difficult. My divorce was in full swing and my world was crumbling. Frankly, I did not have a thankful attitude. What did I have to be thankful for? Everything in my world was being ripped away from me. Fast forward thirteen years, and here is what I have learned: the most […]
“You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!” Those were the famous words that Jack Nicholson delivered so passionately in the movie A Few Good Men. And he was right. Many people can’t handle the truth, especially when it sheds light on poor choices or brings on consequences. This is often the case when […]
Going through divorce often feels like a battle. Each day can be a fight just to keep your head above water, often doing the work of two people. All the while dealing with the extremely difficult emotional issues that a divorce invariably brings. It can be overwhelming and so discouraging. Recognize that the source of these […]
Life after my divorce was so uncertain and disorienting. So much had changed. Most of the familiar routines, people, and traditions disappeared. My life felt awkward, almost alien. It really was as if I had been dropped onto Mars. I spent most of my energy numbly fumbling around trying to make sense of the my new life’s landscape. I […]