I know a wonderful, godly woman who was married for over 30 years to a great man who loved her very much and treated her like a queen. One day, her husband died suddenly. As you would expect, she struggled greatly with the loss. Eventually, driven by loneliness, she started dating again. She met a man who was nothing like her former husband. He treated her very poorly. He disrespected her, spoke down to her, and berated her for being disorganized. She justified staying in the relationship because being with him was “better than being alone”. They dated for a couple of years and one day he came in and tossed an engagement ring at her, saying, “Here, this is what you want, isn’t it?” Even though she was very hurt, she accepted the heartless proposal.
How can this happen? How can a woman who has everything going for her end up with such a dud? Because she settled. She settled for a heartless warm body just so she would not have to be alone the rest of her life. Her fear overtook her good judgment, and the result is a lifetime of emptiness and regret. The sad truth is that this scenario is all too common. Many people as they get older feel like they have little or no options. They (wrongly) feel that they are too old, physically unattractive, or simply undesirable. They tell themselves, “Who would want me?”, and this causes them to make rash decisions with their life.
If they only knew that Christ wants them. He wants to spend time with them and take away their loneliness. He is pursuing their heart. He yearns for them to know how perfect and desirable they are to him. He wants them to know that he uses the alone times in their lives to heal them, teach them, and prepare them for the great things he has planned. When people settle, they short-circuit this great plan. Don’t settle. Put your trust in the Lord and let this trust give you the hope you need to endure the difficult and lonely times. Through this trust, He will reveal his amazing plan for you. And if that plan includes another person to share your life with, you can bet they are going to someone as perfect as you!
For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans of welfare and not for evil, to you a future and a hope. – Jeremiah 29:11
Originally posted 2014-09-18 06:00:18.
I wish someone had told me this in 1965; I might not have settled (and I knew I was doing that); for a male who wouldn’t leave me alone. I really thought he cared for me; no one else did, so that was something new for me. I thought that I couldn’t go wrong with him because he treated me so well (for a while), even though he wasn’t my type and I didn’t like him or his looks; I thought he was yucky. I sentenced myself to a lifetime of regret because I thought I didn’t deserve any better. He was dead set against children, and that’s why my annulment came through. I prayed so hard that he would change his mind, and he did for a while, because the babies were so cute and sweet. But soon his indifference resurfaced and he couldn’t get rid of them fast enough or soon enough. I really feel for them, but at least they are here, and I can call myself a mother. The regret and self-loathing don’t quit. How’s that for a negative story….