What do getting divorced, remarried, and divorced again in less than nine months, leaving your kids to become a groupie for a rock band, and moving to South America all have in common? They are all real choices made by people during their first year of divorce. Why would people make such obviously poor decisions? The short answer is: they lacked trust in God.
When people encounter a painful situation, they make one of two subconscious choices. They either stay and work through the situation, or they run from it. It is called “fight or flight.” Our society today is wired toward instant gratification. The underlying message promoted is anything that is going to take too long, or hurt too much, is considered bad and should be avoided. This conditions people to run (“flight”) from pain. All the above true stories are, at their core, examples of people who were running from the painful reality brought into their lives by divorce. It seemed easier, and less painful, to leave their problems behind by entering into a new marriage, or leaving town, or assuming a new identity. In the end, they all created more pain for themselves and their families–the very thing they were seeking to avoid.
Had these people placed their trust in God first, they would have been given the graces needed to patiently endure the painful difficulties. Working through the difficulty would have given God the opportunity to change them, heal them, and improve them. From the experience would have come a better perspective. This perspective would have helped them realize that God is with them always and has a unique and noble purpose for their lives. Instead, they pushed the eject button and short-circuited God’s great plan. When overwhelmed with the pain and difficulty of divorce, don’t run. Instead, turn to God, ask for the courage to endure, and trust He will deliver. It is the only way to lasting peace.
Wait on God, with patience, cling to him, forsake him not; thus will you be wise in all your ways. Accept whatever befalls you, when sorrowful, be steadfast, and in crushing misfortune be patient; For in fire gold and silver are tested, and worthy people in the crucible of humiliation. Trust God and God will help you; trust in him, and he will direct your way. – Sirach 2:2-6