In general, we don’t like change. Change equals risk, and people tend to be risk averse. It comes from our basic survival instincts. When we lived in caves, change could mean not finding any food, or worse still, stumbling upon some wild animal and becoming their food. (Yikes!) We seem to equate change with being […]
We all know someone who we would consider a fanatic. Someone who is consumed with a sports team, or a particular brand of car, or shoes, or clothes, or making money. Whatever their infatuation, it defines them. They are known by it. They are the Red Sox freak, or the Mercedes guy, or the Prada […]
I remember when I was in the throes of my divorce, one of my co-workers said, “I know this is difficult. You deserve to be happy.” I thought, “Yea, she’s right. I do deserve to be happy!” I approached happiness like some kind of life achievement, like graduating from high school. I wanted to graduate from […]
It was almost 3:00 AM, and I was sitting at my desk in my home office working feverishly. It was the night before a crucial divorce court hearing that would determine the fate of me and my children. I was a nervous wreck. I was so afraid that I would forget some vital evidence, or […]
“This is the third time this month you have been late picking up the kids. You are going to have to figure out a way to be more on time,” I said coldly. My former spouse just looked at me with a mixture of embarrassment and exhaustion. After the kids were gone and the house […]
Have you ever had a time during the course of your divorce when you felt like doing something radical? I’ve spoken to many people who have done just that. Maybe they adopted a totally new look, got a completely new haircut, sold their minivan for a sports car, or started to go clubbing. When we go […]
“You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!” Those were the famous words that Jack Nicholson delivered so passionately in the movie A Few Good Men. And he was right. Many people can’t handle the truth, especially when it sheds light on poor choices or brings on consequences. This is often the case when a […]
In our Voices of Hope DVD, one of the participants, Marty, says, “If you are afraid, God can’t get to you.” It is a very emotionally charged moment as Marty is recalling his struggles dealing with the pain and suffering during his divorce. Marty is no softy. In fact, he is a big, burly guy. […]
I will never forget the morning after my marriage crumbled. It was as if I woke up into a nightmare. I could not believe what was happening to me, my children, and my marriage. It was surreal. I just wanted to close my eyes and hope that I was really still asleep and would wake […]
I want you to stop what you are doing and clear your mind for a few seconds. Good. Now, think back to the greatest gift you ever received in your life. What was it? It could have been a special toy that you really wanted for Christmas, but thought it was impossible for you to […]