Make It Right

Marriages are supposed to be for life. That’s how God designed them. Divorce is an obvious sign that something went seriously wrong with that plan. Most divorces don’t happen overnight. It is usually the result of a cumulative series of events. If you are totally honest with yourself, you can see what role you played […]

Unfair Advantage

“If you have to go through a divorce, thank God you are Catholic!” I exclaimed to a group of divorced and separated Catholics. A puzzled look replaced the mostly pain-filled expressions I saw staring back at me. I knew what they were thinking: “How is being Catholic going to get me out of this mess?” […]

Training Your Ex

I could see the frustration and apprehension on Chloe’s face as she was telling me about her latest travail with her former spouse. Chloe was a participant in our Recovering from Divorce Program and had just gone through a divorce during the past year. She was really struggling with creating a cooperative, working relationship with her […]

Stretched

“Realizing I had no other choice, I lifted the dryer and turned it upside down and out dropped my cellphone,” Sara said as she described how she solved the dilemma of her cellphone falling down the dryer’s lint vent. This would be surprising enough if a burly football player-type had said it, but this was […]

The Cross

After my divorce I was carrying a very heavy cross. Surprisingly, what made my cross so heavy was not the usual challenges of being a single parent, financial uncertainty, or dealing with a difficult ex. I certainly had my share of these challenges. What turned my cross from wood to lead was my difficulties with living […]

Take Heart!

In ancient times, lepers where considered “unclean” and were the outcasts of society. They were socially ostracized and forced to live separated from the community. Sadly, it is not uncommon to feel the same way after going through a divorce as a Catholic. You may feel “unclean” and unworthy to participate in your faith. This is […]

Yo-Yo

Dealing with teenagers can be a real challenge.  A typical teenager is concerned with one thing in their lives: themselves. As a result, they tend to make their relationship with their parents very transactional. They expect to request and to receive, and nothing more. Give them the car keys, and they are happy. Give them […]

Outsider

I will never forget the feeling of isolation I felt when I was going through my divorce. I turned to my parish and there were no programs for people who were separated or divorced. I tried to talk to my Pastor, and while he tried his best, he could offer me nothing more than the simple […]

Stuck

“I hope he rots in Hell!” the woman (let’s call her Marge) sitting in front of me said, her voice filled with bitterness. I sat and listened attentively for the next fifteen minutes as she described in vivid detail all the nasty things her ex did and all the pain he brought into her life. Listening […]

Got Your Back

With St. John Paul II’s canonization on Divine Mercy Sunday 2014, it is good to be reminded of what this amazing pope and saint said about divorced Catholics. He has our back! I earnestly call upon pastors and the whole community of the faithful to help the divorced and with solicitous care to make sure that they […]