“What the heck are you doing to me?!” was my plea to God when my world was crashing down around me those first days after my divorce hit. I was angry, especially at God. I thought that He always had my back, and now I felt abandoned. I blamed God for not saving my marriage. […]
I thought that once my divorce was final, life would get back to some sense of normal and most of my divorce-related struggles would disappear. Yeah, right. I quickly discovered that the primary change was the types of struggles I faced, not struggles themselves. My main struggle initially was committing to a chaste lifestyle. That one […]
Divorce can bring a tremendous amount of suffering and uncertainty. In a moment, a lifetime of dreams and plans can be destroyed. It is during these times that it can feel like you were dropped in a foreign land with no map–in the dark. It can be a very scary feeling! Scripture repeatedly reassures us that […]
Looking back during the first years of my divorce, I realize I made some pretty dumb mistakes. One of the biggest was to start dating within two weeks after my divorce was final. There were plenty more, trust me. Most of my mistakes seemed totally reasonable at the time. How could that be? How could decisions […]
I assumed that Friday, April 8, 2016, would start out like every other day that week. It was Spring Break and I had spent the week sharing some major quality time with my 6-year-old son while my wife was in Florida relaxing with some of our other kids. I was wrong. The pope had published his post-synodal apostolic […]
What do getting divorced, remarried, and divorced again in less than nine months, leaving your kids to become a groupie for a rock band, and moving to South America all have in common? They are all real choices made by people during their first year of divorce. Why would people make such obviously poor decisions? […]
The pain was very evident in her voice and on her face as Ellen described how, because of their emotional distress, her two youngest boys were actually pulling out their eyebrows. Ellen had gone through a bitter divorce three years earlier. She and her ex were still waging war daily for some reason or another. Most […]
During a recent all-day workshop, I had repeated often my view that if one had to go through a divorce, it was a blessing to be Catholic. My point was that our Catholic faith offers so much hope and healing, particularly through the Sacraments, that to have to go through a divorce without them makes the […]
“Mom, it feels like someone has died,” I tearfully said to my mother the month after my divorce was filed. The emotional pain was so overwhelming it paralyzed me. I couldn’t think clearly, and getting through the day doing even just basic tasks, like brushing my teeth or getting dressed, took every ounce of energy […]
“I’m miserable” was the reason I got from my former spouse when it was clear there were some serious problems in our marriage. It seems to be the all too common reason why people end their marriage. They are not “happy.” It has become so common that many people accept it as a legitimate reason to […]