House of Love

“Why are you taking pictures of a church that doesn’t care about its people?!” were the words that rudely broke the silence as I was trying to inconspicuously take a few pictures of a magnificent old church near where I was visiting. I turned around to see a disheveled older man who clearly hadn’t had […]

Mind Over Matter

A feeling of dread came over me as I noticed the fat, overstuffed envelope crammed in my mailbox. It was yet another mailing from my attorney. They seemed to be coming almost daily. Somedays they were bills, and on other days they were copies of the many voluminous letters he was sending or receiving. No […]

Oprah

Going through my divorce turned my world upside-down. I suddenly started to question everything in my life. What was true? Who could be trusted? It was like my life was thrust into darkness and I was stumbling around trying to gain my bearings. I would talk to anyone who I thought could help me: friends, family, […]

Cursed?

During a recent all-day workshop, I had repeated often my view that if one had to go through a divorce, it was a blessing to be Catholic. My point was that our Catholic faith offers so much hope and healing, particularly through the Sacraments, that to have to go through a divorce without them makes the […]

Can God Get to You?

In our Voices of Hope DVD, one of the participants, Marty, says, “If you are afraid, God can’t get to you.” It is a very emotionally charged moment as Marty is recalling his struggles dealing with the pain and suffering during his divorce. Marty is no softy. In fact, he is a big, burly guy. […]

Unfair Advantage

“If you have to go through a divorce, thank God you are Catholic!” I exclaimed to a group of divorced and separated Catholics. A puzzled look replaced the mostly pain-filled expressions I saw staring back at me. I knew what they were thinking: “How is being Catholic going to get me out of this mess?” […]

Mishmash

Recently, I traveled out-of-town to a major American city. Fortunately, there was a Catholic Church within walking distance from my hotel. One morning, I arrived just as Mass was starting and slipped into a side pew. I was struck by two things. First, the incredible beauty of the church. The painted ceilings, marble columns, and […]

The Path

Life after my divorce was so uncertain and disorienting. So much had changed. Most of the familiar routines, people, and traditions disappeared. My life felt awkward, almost alien. It really was as if I had been dropped onto Mars. I spent most of my energy numbly fumbling around trying to make sense of the my new life’s landscape. I […]

Tranquility

“I hope she rots in Hell!” I screamed at God at the top of my lungs as I drove to work. I had just gotten done listening to my former spouse’s rationale on how our divorce would actually be “good for the kids.” I was so angry and hurt over the pain and distress I […]

You Are Loved

“You are loved. Do you hear me? YOU ARE LOVED!” were the words the priest said emphatically. This was the central theme of the three-day mission led by this priest in my parish. He was so convinced of this truth, and was trying to convince everyone else who attended, that he actually had buttons made […]