“Of course I want intimacy. Every man and every woman does…I look in the mirror each morning and I tell myself, it’s just not my time. God’s got someone out there for me, it’s just not my time.” says Kerri, a 40-ish, divorced, single parent appearing in the Voices of Hope DVD. When sharing her attitude toward dating […]
One of the most common reactions to divorce is fear. That is very understandable. Who wouldn’t be scared if their entire life came crashing in around them? The problem with fear is not being scared, that’s normal. The problem is acting on fear. That’s when fear becomes a lousy strategy. Here is a better strategy: hope. Hope is not about ignoring […]
My coworkers wanted to celebrate my divorce like I had just been set free from a POW camp. They were almost congratulating me for the failure of my marriage. On the outside I would humor them by going along with them, but inside I was dazed and confused. Here I was “single” again and totally […]
“I have had situations where clients have said to me: ‘I have prayed my rosary everyday for three years and that has not changed my ex one bit.’ Well, the wrong person got changed.”, shares Sandy McKay, a wonderful, Catholic therapist on the Voices of Hope DVD. This is so true. I know I fell into […]
My greatest lament during my divorce was the break up of my family. I knew in my heart that what was best for my kids was for them to be raised in an intact family by both parents. Because of the divorce, that dream was crushed. I felt so badly for my kids. I felt like […]
The year or two after my divorce was final was a very confusing time. I sure did my share of fumbling around as I tried, often in vain, to figure out this new life I had been thrust into. I would like to say I learned quickly, and I was able to promptly bring order […]
“I still can’t bring myself to tell people I am divorced.” Linda shared with her Recovering from Divorce group. She had been divorced for over three years, and the shame of being divorced and Catholic still held her hostage. This is very common. I must admit that it has been over thirteen years since my […]
In ancient times, lepers were considered “unclean” and were the outcasts of society. They were socially ostracized and forced to live separated from the community. Sadly, it is not uncommon to feel the same way after going through a divorce as a Catholic. You may feel “unclean” and unworthy to participate in your faith. This is made […]
I often equate recovering from divorce to recovering from a near-fatal car accident. You emerge from divorce with your emotional well being on life support. Every day can bring an avalanche of pain. Relief can be nowhere in sight. Just as physical therapy is used to help mend a broken body, your faith can help […]
As the fog of emotional pain was starting to lift from my divorce, I made an unexpected discovery: quiet time. Every other weekend the kids went off to their other parent. Initially, the house seemed eerily quiet after the kids left. But over time I came to really appreciate, even look forward to, having this time […]