One of the most common reactions to divorce is fear. That is very understandable. Who wouldn’t be scared if their entire life came crashing in around them? The problem with fear is not being scared, that’s normal. The problem is acting on fear. That’s when fear becomes a lousy strategy. Here is a better strategy: hope. Hope is not about ignoring […]
My coworkers wanted to celebrate my divorce like I had just been set free from a POW camp. They were almost congratulating me for the failure of my marriage. On the outside I would humor them by going along with them, but inside I was dazed and confused. Here I was “single” again and totally […]
“I have had situations where clients have said to me: ‘I have prayed my rosary everyday for three years and that has not changed my ex one bit.’ Well, the wrong person got changed.”, shares Sandy McKay, a wonderful, Catholic therapist on the Voices of Hope DVD. This is so true. I know I fell into […]
The year or two after my divorce was final was a very confusing time. I sure did my share of fumbling around as I tried, often in vain, to figure out this new life I had been thrust into. I would like to say I learned quickly, and I was able to promptly bring order […]
The phone bounced around in the corner a couple of times before coming to rest on the floor with its battery hanging out of it like the tongue of a dead duck. I had hurled it across the room bringing an abrupt end to a vicious verbal fight with my soon-to-be ex. I am not proud […]
The money just keeps flying out of here. I can’t see any way out of my situation,” Chuck said, his voice full of worry and fear. Chuck was smack in the middle of his divorce, and the legal fees were piling up. Compounding his anxiety was the fact that he had a rather modest income. […]
“I am afraid that if I start to cry, I won’t be able to stop.” shared Susan during one of my workshops. Sadly, Susan’s husband had just informed her one week earlier that he was leaving her. Understandably, she was shattered. Fast forward three months later, and Susan, while still in the throes of divorce, […]
When I looked down the hall, all I could see was a long line of people. Most of them looked rather apprehensive; some shuffled nervously from one foot to the other. These people were waiting in line to go to reconciliation during one of our Divorced Catholic Conferences. We always offer reconciliation during the conference, […]
One of the most common laments I hear from parents after divorce is the loss of quality time with their kids. That is understandable. The time they had with their kids is reduced, whether they are the custodial parent or not. While this challenge is experienced by both parents, it is more acute for the […]
When (or if) to take off your wedding ring is an interesting question. There are many different perspectives, for sure. Here’s mine: I remember very well the words I said to my wife (and she to me) on our wedding: “Monica, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity.” A wedding […]