“I am afraid that if I start to cry, I won’t be able to stop.” shared Susan during one of my workshops. Sadly, Susan’s husband had just informed her one week earlier that he was leaving her. Understandably, she was shattered. Fast forward three months later, and Susan, while still in the throes of divorce, […]
When I was in the throes of my divorce, and my world was collapsing around me, my counselor suggested that I read one of the Psalms each day. She said that they would encourage me and give me hope. She was so right. My daily reading of the Psalms became my oxygen when I was […]
I remember when I was in the throes of my divorce, one of my co-workers said, “I know this is difficult. You deserve to be happy.” I thought, “Yea, she’s right. I do deserve to be happy!” Back then, I approached happiness like some kind of life achievement, like graduating from high school. I wanted to […]
Several years ago, I brought my then five-year-old daughter to the doctor for her annual physical. She was due for a couple of immunizations, and I was trying to find a delicate way of answering her repeated question, “Am I going to get any shots?” I managed to avoid answering the question directly with responses […]
When I looked down the hall, all I could see was a long line of people. Most of them looked rather apprehensive; some shuffled nervously from one foot to the other. These people were waiting in line to go to reconciliation during one of our Divorced Catholic Conferences. We always offer reconciliation during the conference, […]
Like clockwork, my mom would change the sheets every Thursday. I remember how good it felt crawling into bed on Thursday evenings. Looking back, I am sure I did not appreciate that as much as I should have, or realize the level of effort it took to make that happen every week. I do now. It is one […]
The house was stone quiet. I was all alone. Even though it was past midnight, I could not sleep. I lie there staring up at the ceiling in the dark. I had no peace. It had been a difficult couple of years. I had tried lots of different things. The new relationships, the new house, […]
“Why me?,” was the question I posed to my brother when I broke the news to him about my impending divorce. I was not a perfect spouse, but I was completely committed to my marriage–for life. I really tried so hard to be a loving and faithful spouse. So, why did my marriage end up in […]
One of the most common laments I hear from parents after divorce is the loss of quality time with their kids. That is understandable. The time they had with their kids is reduced, whether they are the custodial parent or not. While this challenge is experienced by both parents, it is more acute for the […]
When (or if) to take off your wedding ring is an interesting question. There are many different perspectives, for sure. Here’s mine: I remember very well the words I said to my wife (and she to me) on our wedding: “Monica, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity.” A wedding […]