As the fog of emotional pain was starting to lift from my divorce, I made an unexpected discovery: quiet time. Every other weekend the kids went off to their other parent. Initially, the house seemed eerily quiet after the kids left. But over time I came to really appreciate, even look forward to, having this time […]
The phone bounced around in the corner a couple of times before coming to rest on the floor with its battery hanging out of it like the tongue of a dead duck. I had hurled it across the room bringing an abrupt end to a vicious verbal fight with my soon-to-be ex. I am not proud […]
The money just keeps flying out of here. I can’t see any way out of my situation,” Chuck said, his voice full of worry and fear. Chuck was smack in the middle of his divorce, and the legal fees were piling up. Compounding his anxiety was the fact that he had a rather modest income. […]
“I am afraid that if I start to cry, I won’t be able to stop.” shared Susan during one of my workshops. Sadly, Susan’s husband had just informed her one week earlier that he was leaving her. Understandably, she was shattered. Fast forward three months later, and Susan, while still in the throes of divorce, […]
Several years ago, I brought my then five-year-old daughter to the doctor for her annual physical. She was due for a couple of immunizations, and I was trying to find a delicate way of answering her repeated question, “Am I going to get any shots?” I managed to avoid answering the question directly with responses […]
When I looked down the hall, all I could see was a long line of people. Most of them looked rather apprehensive; some shuffled nervously from one foot to the other. These people were waiting in line to go to reconciliation during one of our Divorced Catholic Conferences. We always offer reconciliation during the conference, […]
Like clockwork, my mom would change the sheets every Thursday. I remember how good it felt crawling into bed on Thursday evenings. Looking back, I am sure I did not appreciate that as much as I should have, or realize the level of effort it took to make that happen every week. I do now. It is one […]
“Why me?,” was the question I posed to my brother when I broke the news to him about my impending divorce. I was not a perfect spouse, but I was completely committed to my marriage–for life. I really tried so hard to be a loving and faithful spouse. So, why did my marriage end up in […]
One of the most common laments I hear from parents after divorce is the loss of quality time with their kids. That is understandable. The time they had with their kids is reduced, whether they are the custodial parent or not. While this challenge is experienced by both parents, it is more acute for the […]
When (or if) to take off your wedding ring is an interesting question. There are many different perspectives, for sure. Here’s mine: I remember very well the words I said to my wife (and she to me) on our wedding: “Monica, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity.” A wedding […]