Life after my divorce was so uncertain and disorienting. So much had changed. Most of the familiar routines, people, and traditions disappeared. My life felt awkward, almost alien. It really was as if I had been dropped onto Mars. I spent most of my energy numbly fumbling around trying to make sense of the my new life’s landscape. I […]
Recently, a woman shared a story with me about how she had to deal with a very tense situation with her former husband. She explained how she had to wait in line with him for over an hour to get a utility bill changed into her name. He was not making it any easier on […]
“I am afraid that if I start to cry, I won’t be able to stop.” shared Susan during one of my workshops. Sadly, Susan’s husband had just informed her one week earlier that he was leaving her. Understandably, she was shattered. Fast forward three months later, and Susan, while still in the throes of divorce, […]
One of the most common reactions to divorce is fear. That is very understandable. Who wouldn’t be scared if their entire life came crashing in around them? The problem with fear is not being scared, that’s normal. The problem is acting on fear. That’s when fear becomes a lousy strategy. Here is a better strategy: hope. Hope is not about ignoring […]
Not long ago one of my teenagers was grumbling about not being able to go out with friends because she had mismanaged her money and did not have enough money to buy gas for her car. She was not happy. We had a brief parent/daughter exchange about what lesson she learned from not managing her […]
Divorce can bring a tremendous amount of suffering and uncertainty. In a moment, a lifetime of dreams and plans can be destroyed. It is during these times that it can feel like you were dropped in a foreign land with no map–in the dark. It can be a very scary feeling! Scripture repeatedly reassures us that […]
Recently, someone posted a very moving plea on our divorcedcatholic.org forum. Here is an excerpt from the post: I am so sorry for what I have done, but the guilt and heartache over what I have done is crushing me and I want so desperately to reconcile with God and the Church. Their pain, caused by their […]
I thought that once my divorce was final, life would get back to some sense of normal and most of my divorce-related struggles would disappear. Yeah, right. I quickly discovered that the primary change was the types of struggles I faced, not struggles themselves. My main struggle initially was committing to a chaste lifestyle. That one […]
During a recent all-day workshop, I had repeated often my view that if one had to go through a divorce, it was a blessing to be Catholic. My point was that our Catholic faith offers so much hope and healing, particularly through the Sacraments, that to have to go through a divorce without them makes the […]
When I was in the throes of my divorce, and my world was collapsing around me, my counselor suggested that I read one of the Psalms each day. She said that they would encourage me and give me hope. She was so right. My daily reading of the Psalms became my oxygen when I was […]