Persevere

Going through divorce often feels like a battle. Each day can be a fight just to keep your head above water, often doing the work of two people. All the while dealing with the extremely difficult emotional issues that a divorce invariably brings. It can be overwhelming and so discouraging. Recognize that the source of these […]

Elbow Room

One time, my ex and I were butting heads over some custody issues. We had reached an impasse and neither of us was willing to budge. In my mind, issues regarding the well-being of the kids were non-negotiable. I tried everything I could think of to break the logjam. Nothing worked. After several weeks of […]

Joyful Anticipation

During the throes of my divorce, I was in so much pain, all I could do was drag myself into daily Mass and sit there in an almost catatonic state. It hurt even to try and form the words to pray. I was completely overwhelmed. My feeble prayer was simply “Lord, please make all this stop. […]

No Plan B

The year or two after my divorce was final was a very confusing time. I sure did my share of fumbling around as I tried, often in vain, to figure out this new life I had been thrust into. I would like to say I learned quickly, and I was able to promptly bring order […]

Below the Surface

It was about a month into my divorce when my former spouse stopped by the house to pick up something. She was all decked-out and clearly very excited about that night’s “big date.” I will never forget it. Here I was being crushed under the emotional weight of the divorce, yet she seemed so unscathed […]

Humble Pie

The month after my divorce was filed, my life was in crisis, to say the least. I was simultaneously dealing with the extremely painful emotional fallout, while trying to work, and take care of three small children. I was consumed with doing all the things I needed to get done. My attitude was, “It is all up […]

Red Bull or Lamb of God?

As I look back on the years immediately following my divorce, I often reflect and think,”How did I do it?” Divorce often thrusts us into a world of activity and responsibility that no mere schedule can accommodate. We can attempt to become ultra-disciplined by managing our time, our responsibilities with kids, work, legal issues, and […]

Seize the Day

Everyday is an opportunity: an opportunity to try again, an opportunity to make a difference in someone’s life, an opportunity to make an improvement in your life.  Seize those opportunities every chance you can. It is so easy to live in the pain of yesterday, or be overwhelmed by the uncertainty of the future, that you can […]

Too Cool

Recently, I was on a flight to New York. I was sitting in an aisle seat. The middle seat was empty, and a young woman was sitting in the window seat. She caught my attention because she was what I would call “edgy.” She was dressed very flashy, had a purple streak dyed into her […]

Be Radical

Have you ever had a time during the course of your divorce when you felt like doing something radical? I’ve spoken to many people who have done just that.  Maybe they adopted a totally new look, got a completely new haircut, sold their minivan for a sports car, or started to go clubbing.  When we go […]