At the workshops I give for divorced Catholics, I am often asked how to find the perfect spouse. Many people approach meeting their future spouse like it is a treasure hunt. They believe that the reason they have not met “the one” yet is because they are not looking in the right way, or in the right place. They are hoping for some kind of treasure map with the secret path clearly drawn out, complete with “X marks the spot.” Usually, they are sadly disappointed.

If your vocation is to marriage, the pathway to meeting your future spouse starts with you. Be the person you wish to meet. If you wish to meet a person of deep faith, really live your faith–all of it–even the hard parts. If you wish to meet a person who is honest, be an honest person in all things, not just those things that others know about. If you wish to marry a person who honors commitment, then do the same, even with people who don’t honor theirs. If you want a relationship filled with love, then sacrifice for others, especially people you don’t like, or who don’t like you. Virtue attracts virtue. So, as you strive to live a more authentically virtuous life, you will find yourself crossing paths with some pretty incredible people. Just don’t be shocked when you realize that one of them is you!

For the virtuous his paths are level, to the haughty they are clogged with stones. – Sirach 39:24

Originally posted 2014-11-13 06:00:54.