There is a famous scene in the 1997 movie, Jerry Maguire, where Jerry (Tom Cruise) is trying to reconcile with his wife, Dorothy (Renee Zellweger). He is trying to convince her that his life is meaningless without her. Then he says these three words: “You complete me.” (And the audience swoons with a collective “Aww…”)
Really? Sure, it makes for great Hollywood movies, but is that really how relationships are supposed to be built? This attitude makes it seem like our lives are the equivalent of a jigsaw puzzle with some key pieces missing, and there is only one person out there that holds them in their pocket. Meet them, and “Poof!” our personal puzzle of life is now complete. Sadly, many people approach relationships like this.
Instead of trying to find that one person that “completes you,” look for someone who compliments you. The “completion” mentality is a form of dependence. It makes you think that you are not a whole person, that you are defective somehow, and only one person in the world can make you perfect. The truth is that only Christ can make you perfect. Someone who can compliment your faith, by how they live their own, will enrich your life by drawing you closer to Christ. And, that, is the foundation for a perfect relationship.
My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness. I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell in me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9
Originally posted 2014-06-23 06:00:23.
Yes , I agree. Many dysfunctional relationships start with a co dependent framework and lack individual self differentiation. That happened to me twice and I married two very controlling men and divorced twice. Now I am strictly working at my recovery and focusing on the why within me. I now see my own dysfunction rather than solely blaming them and pointing fingers.
I married two men hoping they would complete me financially, emotionally and socially. I’m learning those are the areas I lacked confidence and an appropriate sense of self. My father God is slowly helping me rebuild.
I am thankful you are on a journey to further self-discovery. A lot can be gained from looking within. Know and believe that you are worthy of unconditional love.