I thought that once my divorce was final, life would get back to some sense of normal and most of my divorce-related struggles would disappear. Yeah, right. I quickly discovered that the primary change was the types of struggles I faced, not struggles themselves. My main struggle initially was committing to a chaste lifestyle. That one […]
I am talking to you–yes, you. You know who you are. You are scared and anxious. Your heart is heavy. It is a struggle to get through each day carrying around your worries and fears. Or, maybe you have convinced yourself that everything is fine, yet there is a nagging sense that it’s really not. […]
Divorce can bring a tremendous amount of suffering and uncertainty. In a moment, a lifetime of dreams and plans can be destroyed. It is during these times that it can feel like you were dropped in a foreign land with no map–in the dark. It can be a very scary feeling! Scripture repeatedly reassures us that […]
“I have had situations where clients have said to me: ‘I have prayed my rosary everyday for three years and that has not changed my ex one bit.’ Well, the wrong person got changed.”, shares Sandy McKay, a wonderful, Catholic therapist on the Voices of Hope DVD. This is so true. I know I fell […]
The best way I can describe the suffering from my divorce is it was like a heavy weight strapped to my back, combined with a gnawing ache in the pit of my stomach. It was always there. The only relief I would get was when I slept. Unfortunately, the second my eyes opened, the pain […]
Looking back during the first years of my divorce, I realize I made some pretty dumb mistakes. One of the biggest was to start dating within two weeks after my divorce was final. There were plenty more, trust me. Most of my mistakes seemed totally reasonable at the time. How could that be? How could decisions […]
The pain was very evident in her voice and on her face as Ellen described how, because of their emotional distress, her two youngest boys were actually pulling out their eyebrows. Ellen had gone through a bitter divorce three years earlier. She and her ex were still waging war daily for some reason or another. Most […]
During a recent all-day workshop, I had repeated often my view that if one had to go through a divorce, it was a blessing to be Catholic. My point was that our Catholic faith offers so much hope and healing, particularly through the Sacraments, that to have to go through a divorce without them makes the […]
“Mom, it feels like someone has died,” I tearfully said to my mother the month after my divorce was filed. The emotional pain was so overwhelming it paralyzed me. I couldn’t think clearly, and getting through the day doing even just basic tasks, like brushing my teeth or getting dressed, took every ounce of energy […]
The low point in my divorce came on Christmas morning, about two months after my divorce was filed. I actually got a call from my attorney; he wanted to discuss some aspect of my divorce (he didn’t celebrate Christmas since he was Jewish). I remember getting off that call and thinking, “I will be so […]