The best way I can describe the suffering from my divorce is it was like a heavy weight strapped to my back, combined with a gnawing ache in the pit of my stomach. It was always there. The only relief I would get was when I slept. Unfortunately, the second my eyes opened, the pain […]
Looking back during the first years of my divorce, I realize I made some pretty dumb mistakes. One of the biggest was to start dating within two weeks after my divorce was final. There were plenty more, trust me. Most of my mistakes seemed totally reasonable at the time. How could that be? How could decisions […]
The pain was very evident in her voice and on her face as Ellen described how, because of their emotional distress, her two youngest boys were actually pulling out their eyebrows. Ellen had gone through a bitter divorce three years earlier. She and her ex were still waging war daily for some reason or another. Most […]
During a recent all-day workshop, I had repeated often my view that if one had to go through a divorce, it was a blessing to be Catholic. My point was that our Catholic faith offers so much hope and healing, particularly through the Sacraments, that to have to go through a divorce without them makes the […]
“Mom, it feels like someone has died,” I tearfully said to my mother the month after my divorce was filed. The emotional pain was so overwhelming it paralyzed me. I couldn’t think clearly, and getting through the day doing even just basic tasks, like brushing my teeth or getting dressed, took every ounce of energy […]
The low point in my divorce came on Christmas morning, about two months after my divorce was filed. I actually got a call from my attorney; he wanted to discuss some aspect of my divorce (he didn’t celebrate Christmas since he was Jewish). I remember getting off that call and thinking, “I will be so […]
“I’m miserable” was the reason I got from my former spouse when it was clear there were some serious problems in our marriage. It seems to be the all too common reason why people end their marriage. They are not “happy.” It has become so common that many people accept it as a legitimate reason to […]
I am a huge fan of Christian music. It never fails to inspire me and make me feel closer to Christ. It doesn’t matter how stressed I am, when I play my favorite Christian songs, I am transformed. My attitude becomes more positive, my worries dissipate, and I even feel more alive. The first year […]
The crisis of divorce is often like one’s house burning down. When it is all over, all that is left is the charred remains of what was once a marriage. Just like with a burned house, your life must be rebuilt. The first phase involves clearing away the rubble of your life. The next phase […]
Recently, a woman shared a story with me about how she had to deal with a very tense situation with her former husband. She explained how she had to wait in line with him for over an hour to get a utility bill changed into her name. He was not making it any easier on […]