Contagious

One day, I had taken my four-year-old to the park to play. He loves the swings, so he made a bee-line for them as soon as we got there. In his typical independent way, he wanted to learn how to “pump” his legs so he didn’t need me to push him anymore. The more he tried, […]

Stretched

“Realizing I had no other choice, I lifted the dryer and turned it upside down and out dropped my cellphone,” Sara said as she described how she solved the dilemma of her cellphone falling down the dryer’s lint vent. This would be surprising enough if a burly football player-type had said it, but this was […]

Really?

At a recent Recovering from Divorce session, we were discussing the always popular topic of dating and intimacy as a divorced Catholic. There is always a yearning for clarity from the participants on this highly charged, and often controversial, topic. I was presenting the Church’s teaching on chastity when one of the participants blurted out, […]

Scars

I often use the metaphor of a car crash to describe a divorce. Like a car crash, the people going through a divorce emerge very battered and bruised with the scars to show for it. Most people view scars as something bad, something to hide. But that is not how Jesus viewed His scars. His […]

The Cross

After my divorce I was carrying a very heavy cross. Surprisingly, what made my cross so heavy was not the usual challenges of being a single parent, financial uncertainty, or dealing with a difficult ex. I certainly had my share of these challenges. What turned my cross from wood to lead was my difficulties with living […]

Take Heart!

In ancient times, lepers where considered “unclean” and were the outcasts of society. They were socially ostracized and forced to live separated from the community. Sadly, it is not uncommon to feel the same way after going through a divorce as a Catholic. You may feel “unclean” and unworthy to participate in your faith. This is […]

Yo-Yo

Dealing with teenagers can be a real challenge.  A typical teenager is concerned with one thing in their lives: themselves. As a result, they tend to make their relationship with their parents very transactional. They expect to request and to receive, and nothing more. Give them the car keys, and they are happy. Give them […]

No Pain. No Gain.

“I can’t believe I did that! Is this me?!,” exclaimed one of our workshop participants (we’ll call her Jayne) after sharing that she recently defended her ex-husband to her family. Evidently, Jayne’s family was giving her a rather hard time about her ex, and she responded by defending him in his absence. What surprised her […]

New Math

The best way I can describe the suffering from my divorce is it was like a heavy weight strapped to my back, combined with a gnawing ache in the pit of my stomach. It was always there. The only relief I would get was when I slept. Unfortunately, the second my eyes opened, the pain […]

Outsider

I will never forget the feeling of isolation I felt when I was going through my divorce. I turned to my parish and there were no programs for people who were separated or divorced. I tried to talk to my Pastor, and while he tried his best, he could offer me nothing more than the simple […]