Treasure Hunt

At the workshops I give for divorced Catholics, I am often asked how to find the perfect spouse. Many people approach meeting their future spouse like it is a treasure hunt. They believe that the reason they have not met “the one” yet is because they are not looking in the right way, or in the […]

Lucky

By reading through the Gospels, the evidence is clear: Christ was focused on healing. It was one of the main acts of compassion that He performed as He traveled around spreading His message of love and the kingdom of God. As word spread of His healing miracles, people came from all over Israel to find Him […]

Make It Right

Marriages are supposed to be for life. That’s how God designed them. Divorce is an obvious sign that something went seriously wrong with that plan. Most divorces don’t happen overnight. It is usually the result of a cumulative series of events. If you are totally honest with yourself, you can see what role you played […]

Unfair Advantage

“If you have to go through a divorce, thank God you are Catholic!” I exclaimed to a group of divorced and separated Catholics. A puzzled look replaced the mostly pain-filled expressions I saw staring back at me. I knew what they were thinking: “How is being Catholic going to get me out of this mess?” […]

Training Your Ex

I could see the frustration and apprehension on Chloe’s face as she was telling me about her latest travail with her former spouse. Chloe was a participant in our Recovering from Divorce Program and had just gone through a divorce during the past year. She was really struggling with creating a cooperative, working relationship with her […]

Take Heart!

In ancient times, lepers where considered “unclean” and were the outcasts of society. They were socially ostracized and forced to live separated from the community. Sadly, it is not uncommon to feel the same way after going through a divorce as a Catholic. You may feel “unclean” and unworthy to participate in your faith. This is […]

Yo-Yo

Dealing with teenagers can be a real challenge.  A typical teenager is concerned with one thing in their lives: themselves. As a result, they tend to make their relationship with their parents very transactional. They expect to request and to receive, and nothing more. Give them the car keys, and they are happy. Give them […]

Outsider

I will never forget the feeling of isolation I felt when I was going through my divorce. I turned to my parish and there were no programs for people who were separated or divorced. I tried to talk to my Pastor, and while he tried his best, he could offer me nothing more than the simple […]

Got Your Back

With St. John Paul II’s canonization on Divine Mercy Sunday 2014, it is good to be reminded of what this amazing pope and saint said about divorced Catholics. He has our back! I earnestly call upon pastors and the whole community of the faithful to help the divorced and with solicitous care to make sure that they […]

Do Not Be Afraid

One of the most common reactions to divorce is fear. That is very understandable. Who wouldn’t be scared if their entire life came crashing in around them? The problem with fear is not being scared, that’s normal. The problem is acting on fear. That’s when fear becomes a lousy strategy. Here is a better strategy: hope. Hope is not about ignoring […]