“Why me?,” was the question I posed to my brother when I broke the news to him about my impending divorce. I was not a perfect spouse, but I was completely committed to my marriage–for life. I really tried so hard to be a loving and faithful spouse. So, why did my marriage end up in […]
I have a fiercely independent streak in me. I have come to understand that this is more often a weakness than a strength because it is motivated by my pride. When I was facing a difficult challenge due to my divorce, I tended to focus only on what I could do to overcome it. I often […]
Like clockwork, my mom would change the sheets every Thursday. I remember how good it felt crawling into bed on Thursday evenings. Looking back, I am sure I did not appreciate that as much as I should have, or realize the level of effort it took to make that happen every week. I do now. It is one […]
After my divorce, I remember scouring the Catechism for information regarding dating and relationships. Frankly, I was looking for a loophole that would allow me to pursue intimate relationships. I rationalized that since I was divorced, there must be certain exemptions for me. I wanted to date again, and I wanted to be intimate. After […]
I have a 104 year-old grandmother, Nonni.* Until recently, she lived by herself. Whenever I would go to visit her, I was always struck by how simple a life she lived compared to me. She lived in a tiny, one bedroom apartment with only a bed and a few pieces of furniture. She does not […]
“This generation is always looking for a quick fix.” spilled out of my mouth as I was sharing some parenting challenge with a friend. I was smug in my surety that I was different–that I was older and wiser. But the truth is, I’m really not. In fact, I think most people, no matter their […]
I am talking to you–yes, you. You know who you are. You are scared and anxious. Your heart is heavy. It is a struggle to get through each day carrying around your worries and fears. Or, maybe you have convinced yourself that everything is fine, yet there is a nagging sense that it’s really not. […]
It was almost 3:00 AM, and I was sitting at my desk in my home office working feverishly. It was the night before a crucial divorce court hearing that would determine the fate of me and my children. I was a nervous wreck. I was so afraid that I would forget some vital evidence, or […]
I often think about the Catholics that have left the faith because of their divorce. The reasons they left are usually because they feel alienated, ashamed, or unwelcome. Often, the annulment process is a stumbling block, too. In any case, there is usually a sense of loss when I talk to them. It is sad. I […]
Have you ever had a time during the course of your divorce when you felt like doing something radical? I’ve spoken to many people who have done just that. Maybe they adopted a totally new look, got a completely new haircut, sold their minivan for a sports car, or started to go clubbing. When we go […]