Separation Anxiety

When my son was  two-years old  he went  through what’s commonly known as separation anxiety. If I stepped out of the room for a brief moment and he lost sight of me, he would panic. This panic took the form of blood-curdling screams, not the kind that are soliciting attention, but guttural, terrified calls for help. These screams and […]

Warmer

“You’re getting warmer!” my sister yelled from the other side of the yard — my heart beating faster in gleeful anticipation. My siblings and I were engrossed in one of our favorite childhood games. We would hide something, and then the one who was “it” would have to find the object with the help of […]

Checking the Box

One day, shortly after I had started my annulment process, I was outside doing yard work. My thoughts drifted to the annulment and how I was anxiously anticipating its completion. I remember thinking that I was looking forward to getting my annulment so “I could meet someone more loving and more ’together’ than my ex.” […]

Contagious

One day, I had taken my four-year-old to the park to play. He loves the swings, so he made a bee-line for them as soon as we got there. In his typical independent way, he wanted to learn how to “pump” his legs so he didn’t need me to push him anymore. The more he tried, […]

Really?

At a recent Recovering from Divorce session, we were discussing the always popular topic of dating and intimacy as a divorced Catholic. There is always a yearning for clarity from the participants on this highly charged, and often controversial, topic. I was presenting the Church’s teaching on chastity when one of the participants blurted out, […]

Angels

“If God really loves me, where is he now when I need him the most?” That was the thought that ran through my mind often during those first weeks and months when my divorce hit. Sure, I read over and over in the Gospels how God will never abandon me. How even the hairs on […]

Made for Greatness

It is very easy to become disillusioned with our faith and with God when dealing with the crushing difficulty of divorce. It can be a lonely time, and God can feel very distant. We can become resigned to thinking that our lot in life is to endure some form of misery for the remainder of our […]

Take Heart!

In ancient times, lepers where considered “unclean” and were the outcasts of society. They were socially ostracized and forced to live separated from the community. Sadly, it is not uncommon to feel the same way after going through a divorce as a Catholic. You may feel “unclean” and unworthy to participate in your faith. This is […]

Simplify

I have a 104 year-old grandmother, Nonni.*  Until recently, she lived by herself. Whenever I would go to visit her, I was always struck by how simple a life she lived compared to me. She lived in a tiny, one bedroom apartment with only a bed and a few pieces of furniture. She does not […]

Hitting the Wall

I often equate going through a divorce to being in a severe car accident. In both cases you emerge very badly battered and wounded, one emotionally and the other physically. Just as it takes a significant amount of time to heal from the physical injuries of a car accident, it also takes significant time to heal emotionally from […]