As a kid, I used to go fishing and swimming at a lake near our house during the summer. At night, the lights on the docks would flicker on automatically when it became dark. As if on cue, a swarm of bugs would appear and hover around the dock, attracted by the light. Love is […]
During a recent all-day workshop, I had repeated often my view that if one had to go through a divorce, it was a blessing to be Catholic. My point was that our Catholic faith offers so much hope and healing, particularly through the Sacraments, that to have to go through a divorce without them makes the […]
“This feels like a death,” I distinctly remember telling my mother on a very cold, and very lonely, November day, shortly after my divorce was filed. A divorce is a death—the death of a marriage. And with it comes all the same feelings of grief that are associated with a physical death. And like a […]
One day, shortly after I had started my annulment process, I was outside doing yard work. My thoughts drifted to the annulment and how I was anxiously anticipating its completion. I remember thinking that I was looking forward to getting my annulment so “I could meet someone more loving and more ’together’ than my ex.” […]
Life after my divorce was so uncertain and disorienting. So much had changed. Most of the familiar routines, people, and traditions disappeared. My life felt awkward, almost alien. It really was as if I had been dropped onto Mars. I spent most of my energy numbly fumbling around trying to make sense of the my new life’s landscape. I […]
The stress and strain of divorce is so intense. The emotional pain is overwhelming. It is a battle just to get through the day. You can’t think straight. You walk around with an ache in the pit of your stomach. Often you are afraid of what the future will hold. You can’t imagine a day […]
About a year after my divorce was final, I was invited to go on a spiritual retreat. During the retreat I heard a talk about the need to forgive those who have hurt you. Well, I could definitely relate to the being hurt part, but, frankly, the thought of forgiving my ex just made me angry. I […]
Recently, someone posted a very moving plea on our divorcedcatholic.org forum. Here is an excerpt from the post: I am so sorry for what I have done, but the guilt and heartache over what I have done is crushing me and I want so desperately to reconcile with God and the Church. Their pain, caused by their […]
I often equate recovering from divorce to recovering from a near-fatal car accident. You emerge from divorce with your emotional well-being on life support. Every day can bring an avalanche of pain. Relief can be nowhere in sight. Just as physical therapy is used to help mend a broken body, your faith can help mend a […]
Divorce can bring a tremendous amount of fear, uncertainty and doubt. In a moment, a lifetime of dreams and plans can be destroyed. It is during these times that it can feel like you were dropped in a foreign land-with no map-in the dark. It can be a very scary feeling! Scripture repeatedly reassures us that […]