Going through my divorce was so painful. The life that I had built, the dreams I had, were now crumbling around my feet. The pain was overwhelming. I developed different ways to cope with this pain. Some of them were good, and some not. To find peace, I dove back into my long abandoned hobbies. That […]
“I hope he rots in Hell!” the woman (let’s call her Marge) sitting in front of me said, her voice filled with bitterness. I sat and listened attentively for the next fifteen minutes as she described in vivid detail all the nasty things her ex did and all the pain he brought into her life. Listening […]
As a kid, I used to go fishing and swimming at a lake near our house during the summer. At night, the lights on the docks would flicker on automatically when it became dark. As if on cue, a swarm of bugs would appear and hover around the dock, attracted by the light. Love is […]
During a recent all-day workshop, I had repeated often my view that if one had to go through a divorce, it was a blessing to be Catholic. My point was that our Catholic faith offers so much hope and healing, particularly through the Sacraments, that to have to go through a divorce without them makes the […]
“This feels like a death,” I distinctly remember telling my mother on a very cold, and very lonely, November day, shortly after my divorce was filed. A divorce is a death—the death of a marriage. And with it comes all the same feelings of grief that are associated with a physical death. And like a […]
Life after my divorce was so uncertain and disorienting. So much had changed. Most of the familiar routines, people, and traditions disappeared. My life felt awkward, almost alien. It really was as if I had been dropped onto Mars. I spent most of my energy numbly fumbling around trying to make sense of the my new life’s landscape. I […]
About a year after my divorce was final, I was invited to go on a spiritual retreat. During the retreat I heard a talk about the need to forgive those who have hurt you. Well, I could definitely relate to the being hurt part, but, frankly, the thought of forgiving my ex just made me angry. I […]
Recently, someone posted a very moving plea on our divorcedcatholic.org forum. Here is an excerpt from the post: I am so sorry for what I have done, but the guilt and heartache over what I have done is crushing me and I want so desperately to reconcile with God and the Church. Their pain, caused by their […]
Divorce can bring a tremendous amount of fear, uncertainty and doubt. In a moment, a lifetime of dreams and plans can be destroyed. It is during these times that it can feel like you were dropped in a foreign land-with no map-in the dark. It can be a very scary feeling! Scripture repeatedly reassures us that […]
I vividly remember telling my brother, who was accompanying me to an important custody hearing, that I was willing to do “whatever it takes” to maintain contact with my children should the judge not rule in my favor. And I meant it. I was even willing to quit my very well-paying job and take a teaching position […]