One day, as I walked into the kitchen, my four-year-old son was watching his favorite TV show. Patting the seat of his chair, he looked up at me with these big, puppy-dog eyes and said, “Can you come and sit with me?” My heart melted. Even though I had a million things to do, I could […]
I remember when I was in the throes of my divorce, one of my co-workers said, “I know this is difficult. You deserve to be happy.” I thought, “Yea, she’s right. I do deserve to be happy!” Back then, I approached happiness like some kind of life achievement, like graduating from high school. I wanted to […]
“I still can’t bring myself to tell people I am divorced.” Linda shared with her Recovering from Divorce group. She had been divorced for over three years, and the shame of being divorced and Catholic still held her hostage. This is very common. I must admit that it has been over thirteen years since my […]
During a recent all-day workshop, I had repeated often my view that if one had to go through a divorce, it was a blessing to be Catholic. My point was that our Catholic faith offers so much hope and healing, particularly through the Sacraments, that to have to go through a divorce without them makes the […]
Going through divorce often feels like a battle. Each day can be a fight just to keep your head above water, often doing the work of two people. All of this while dealing with the extremely difficult emotional issues that a divorce invariably brings. It can be overwhelming and so discouraging. Recognize that the source of […]
One day, when I was around fourteen, my mom picked me up from my bus stop after school. As I climbed in the car, I saw a brand-new guitar sitting in the back seat. I asked her who it was for, and she said, “You!” I was shocked. How did she know that I really […]
The low point in my divorce came on Christmas morning, about two months after my divorce was filed. I actually got a call from my attorney; he wanted to discuss some aspect of my divorce (he didn’t celebrate Christmas since he was Jewish). I remember getting off that call and thinking, “I will be so […]
I have a Facebook Friend who went through a divorce several years ago. I finally had to block her posts because every comment was tinged with anger and bitterness. Sadly, she is a prisoner to pain of the past she has bundled up and drags around with her everyday. It has become a heavy burden […]
One of the most common reactions to divorce is fear. That is very understandable. Who wouldn’t be scared if their entire life came crashing in around them? The problem with fear is not being scared, that’s normal. The problem is acting on fear. That’s when fear becomes a lousy strategy. Here is a better strategy: hope. Hope is not about […]
My first Thanksgiving was so difficult. My divorce was in full swing and my world was crumbling. Frankly, I did not have a thankful attitude. What did I have to be thankful for? Everything in my world was being ripped away from me. Fast forward thirteen years, and here is what I have learned: the most […]