War

The pain was very evident in her voice and on her face as Ellen described how, because of their emotional distress, her two youngest boys were actually pulling out their eyebrows. Ellen had gone through a bitter divorce three years earlier. She and her ex were still waging war daily for some reason or another. Most […]

Do You Want the Truth?

“You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!” Those were the famous words that Jack Nicholson delivered so passionately in the movie A Few Good Men. And he was right. Many people can’t handle the truth, especially when it sheds light on poor choices or brings on consequences. This is often the case when […]

Medieval Times

After my divorce, I remember scouring the Catechism for information regarding dating and relationships. Frankly, I was looking for a loophole that would allow me to pursue intimate relationships. I rationalized that since I was divorced, there must be certain exemptions for me. I wanted to date again, and I wanted to be intimate. After […]

Peace Like A River

I am talking to you–yes, you. You know who you are. You are scared and anxious. Your heart is heavy. It is a struggle to get through each day carrying around your worries and fears. Or, maybe you have convinced yourself that everything is fine, yet there is a nagging sense that it’s really not. […]

Normal Again?

The stress and strain of divorce is so intense. The emotional pain is overwhelming. It is a battle just to get through the day. You can’t think straight. You walk around with a pit in your stomach. Often you are afraid of what the future will hold. You can’t imagine a day when things will be […]

New Math

The best way I can describe the suffering from my divorce is it was like a heavy weight strapped to my back, combined with a gnawing ache in the pit of my stomach. It was always there. The only relief I would get was when I slept. Unfortunately, the second my eyes opened, the pain […]

Anchored Down

About a year after my divorce was final, I was invited to go on a spiritual retreat. During the retreat I heard a talk about the need to forgive those who have hurt you. Well, I could definitely relate to the being hurt part, but, frankly, the thought of forgiving my ex just made me angry. I […]

Hide and Seek

My son loves to go to the PlayPlace at McDonald’s. One day while we were there, a spontaneous game of hide-and-seek broke out. One little girl stood just outside the play area, covered her eyes, and started counting. All the other kids scattered like ants and begin scrambling to find a place to hide. What […]

Really?

At a recent Recovering from Divorce session, we were discussing the always popular topic of dating and intimacy as a divorced Catholic. There is always a yearning for clarity from the participants on this highly charged, and often controversial, topic. I was presenting the Church’s teaching on chastity when one of the participants blurted out, […]