START HERE

Is This You?

You have come to my blog more than likely because you are Catholic and are experiencing, or have experienced, divorce. You are grappling with all the questions and challenges that divorce shoves into your life.

Pier Image

Does any of this sound like you:

  • You are filled with emotional pain, regret or guilt from your divorce.
  • You feel hopeless, confused or uncertain about your future.
  • You are wondering if life will ever be “good” again.
  • You are angry at your former spouse, God or yourself.
  • You question if you are lovable or valuable.
  • You are trying to figure out what it means to be divorced and Catholic. You are asking yourself: Can I still be Catholic? Am I still welcome in my parish? Can I still receive the Sacraments? Can I ever get married again?
  • You have many questions about annulments or the annulment process.
  • Your divorce happened years ago, but you are still not “over it.”
  • You are restless as you search for happiness and life’s true meaning.
  • You are worried about your children and want to minimize the fallout your divorce has on them.
  • You are afraid you will be alone the rest of your life.
  • You feel like you have healed, but you have questions about your future.
  • You have questions about dating, or you have tried dating and are filled with disillusionment or regret.
  • You are looking for answers.

I Can Relate

I know what you are going through.

I went through an extremely difficult and painful divorce in 2000. At that time, I had three small children, ages eight, six, and three. Once the storm clouds passed, I found myself divorced, a full-time, single-parent, and a CEO. While I thought the worst was over, I found life after divorce ushered in a whole new set of challenges.

My three girls -- about a year before my divorce.

My three girls — about a year before my divorce.

I know what it is like to wake up into the nightmare of divorce each morning. I have carried that pit in my stomach and the crushing weight on my back. I have lived with the loneliness and confusion.

I know the frustration of searching and searching trying to find peace—and not finding it. I have experienced the despair that results when all life’s dreams have crumbled. And I know the restlessness that comes when trying to figure out what life after divorce is really all about. And, boy, did I ever grapple with all the challenges and complexities of dating after divorce.

My Search for Answers

CatholicMass2

The Catholic faith is so wise and so true and holds all the answers to every question.

The first couple of years after my divorce were so difficult. I was flailing around trying to figure out what my new life was all about. There were no Catholic-based divorce support programs, websites, blogs, books, or workshops to help me. I was on my own. Much of that time I spent fumbling around in the darkness of divorce.

In my confusion and pain, I began to question my faith. I wondered how God could allow this divorce to happen to me. How could He allow this to happen to my children? I got into this spiritual tug-o-war with God. I felt like I should be able to live my life however I wanted as payback for the pain and suffering of divorce that I had to endure. Needless to say, there was no peace in my life during this time.

Unsettled and disillusioned, I reached a fork in the road. I knew I had to decide to either be the Catholic I professed to be, and really live my faith, or I was going to have to leave the Church. In my desperate search for answers, I picked up the Catechism…

What happened over the next three years could best be described as an odyssey. I hunted for answers by reading everything I could get my hands on about my Catholic faith, and I dove into the Mass and the sacraments. The more I searched, the more answers I found. As a result, I made a powerful and life-changing discovery: the Catholic faith is so wise and so true and holds the answers to every question. It is all there in the Truth that Christ entrusted to the Church and the 2,000 years of wisdom She contains.

I Am Living Proof

detour-sign

Divorce is simply a detour on our journey to abundant life, not a dead end.

Once I committed to living my Catholic faith fully—even the hard parts—peace returned to my life in abundance. Gone was the hopelessness, confusion, and uncertainty. In its place was a clarity about my life’s purpose and a hopefulness for the future God had planned for me. Life made sense.

I felt alive in my faith for the first time in my life. I actually looked forward to going to Mass. I now understood that I was a part of something extraordinary. It was much more than just reciting a bunch of words and mindlessly kneeling-sitting-standing. Receiving the Eucharist fulfilled the yearning I had in my heart to be loved.

Gone were the feelings of being lost and confused; my Catholic faith gave me a framework for living my life. It guided my decisions, gave me a deep understanding about my purpose, and filled me with confidence. My life had a vibrancy it never had before. I could see my future more clearly than ever, and I now knew how to get there.

I used to believe that divorce was a dead end to my purpose and my dreams. I discovered that divorce is simply a detour on the journey to abundant life, not a dead end. I am living proof of this!

Abundant Life

abundantlife2

“I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly.” – John 10:10

Christ promises us in John’s Gospel that He came to give us an abundant life. Abundant with what? Going through a divorce can make you believe that life for you is now an abundance of pain, difficulty, and loneliness.

It can seem that divorce hijacks Christ’s promise; that your journey toward that abundant life has hit a dead end. You may believe that you are forever shutout from true peace and joy, and you are destined to a life of struggle and emptiness. I am here to tell you otherwise.

The truth is, God created each of us for a specific purpose. By living this purpose, we are living God’s plan for our lives — we are who we were created to be. Our hearts and minds get “in-sync” with God, and we experience the abundant life that He promises each of us.

This abundant life is a life filled with peace and joy — in spite of the difficulties that are a part of life. While God does not promise you a life free of pain and difficulty, He does promise that if you are faithful to Him and believe in His Son, Jesus, you will experience a deep peace and joy that living in this world cannot take away—not even divorce.

My Mission

My mission is to share with you what I have learned about our Catholic faith on my journey back from divorce and to help you claim the promise of abundant life made by Christ by living it.

Guiding You

Think of me as your abundant life coach. I want to help you claim the abundant life Christ came to give to each of us. If you let me, I will guide you back to—and help you stay on—the path to abundant life. I do this by helping you learn and live your Catholic faith more fully.

hikerguide

The Catholic faith is the pathway to abundant life.

I am here to share with you everything I have learned and to teach you how to live it. I believe this is the calling God has given me. I can help you avoid the pitfalls and pain that I encountered during, and after, my divorce. I can show you how to make a smoother recovery from divorce and a quicker journey back to abundant life. I learned the hard way, so you don’t have to.

Here are some of the benefits I can help you receive:

  • Healing from the pain and despair of divorce.
  • Removing fear, confusion, and uncertainty from your life.
  • A vibrant life filled with lasting peace and real joy.
  • A hopeful and optimistic attitude about your future.
  • A clear understanding of God’s plan and purpose for you.
  • A whole new understanding, appreciation, and excitement for your Catholic faith and its relevance in your life.
  • An end to the restlessness and searching brought on by divorce.
  • Better decision making.
  • Rediscover your inherent value and self-worth.
  • An understanding of the annulment process and how it can help you heal from divorce and gain insights into God’s future plan for you.
  • A better understanding of God’s design for intimacy and relationships.
  • Avoid making mistakes in future dating relationships.
  • Ensuring your children are raised Catholic after your divorce.
  • More effectively deal with a difficult former spouse.
  • Better handle the challenges of being a single-parent.

May I Help You?

VFOutside2Web1080px-Sharpened

“If you have to go through a divorce, thank God you are Catholic.” – Vince Frese

What I do is take the teachings and truths of the Catholic faith and apply them to life during and after divorce. I help you understand that your faith is as relevant to you now—and in some ways, even more relevant—than before you were divorced. I will show you how your Catholic faith is fundamental to your healing and recovery from divorce. And I will help you live it more fully.

I have been blessed to help so many Catholics recover and rebuild their lives after divorce. I have witnessed them go from utter despair and hopelessness to vibrant, hopeful, peace-filled Catholics who are excited about their lives and the future God has planned for them. It is truly miraculous to witness this transformation. I will help this happen for you.

I don’t have any secret formulas, magic prayers, or get-healed-quick schemes. What I do have is a way for your to understand and live your Catholic faith more fully. That is where Christ’s healing power is. He does all the work through His Church and its Sacraments, Scripture and Truth. I simply walk you through living it step-by-step.

It is my prayer that you will allow me to help you recover from divorce and claim the abundant life Christ promises you.

How I Help You

Here is what I do to help guide you to abundant life:

 Daily Inspirations

DI Email Screen Shot
Monday through Friday, I post a short inspirational message to my blog. You can subscribe to my blog to receive these via email. The inspirations are written to encourage you on your journey after divorce. All the inspirations are Holy Spirit inspired, and most contain my life experiences after divorce. Based on the very positive feedback I receive, these are very helpful. You can sign-up to receive the Daily Inspirations via email.

 Blog Articles

Blog Screen Shot
At least once a week, I will post a blog article that addresses in-depth an issue that Catholics face with divorce. The topics I write about are usually about recovering from divorce, living your Catholic faith, single parenting, and dating and relationships. Because of my experience with remarriage and step-parenting, I also write about that from time-to-time. When you subscribe to my blog, you will these new articles emailed to you automatically.

Books

DCNW 3D Cover

I am the co-author of the book, Divorced. Catholic. Now What? This book addresses the seventeen most important and challenging issues that Catholics face after divorce. This book, along with the accompanying workbook, has helped thousands worldwide to recover from divorce by deepening their Catholic faith. You can order a copy at divorcedcatholic.org or Amazon.com.

Top 30 DI 3D Cover 800x700I am the author of the newly released e-book, Daily Inspirations for Divorced Catholic, Top 30 Reader Favorites, This e-book compiles the most popular Daily Inspirations into book form. Anyone that subscribes to my blog gets a free copy.

Workshops

10KeysRecoveryAd3 300x300

I offer a variety of workshops, both on-site and on-line. The workshops are designed to be hands-on, information and insight packed events, that tackle some of the most challenging and difficult issues divorced Catholics face. The workshops are offered throughout the year and cover a variety of topics including: The Essential Keys to Recovering from Divorce, Handling the Holidays, Dating and Intimacy as a Divorced Catholic, Raising Your Kids Catholic After Divorce, and What is an Annulment and Why Do I Need One? By subscribing to my blog, you will be sure to get notified of my up-coming workshops.

Programs

JOH Logo     DC Recovery Cover

I have helped develop the first fully Catholic divorce recovery program: Journey of Hope. This program is used in parishes through the United States and Canada.

I took everything I learned from the Journey of Hope program and I have made it better. I have developed two 13-week programs to help Catholics recover and rebuild their lives after divorce. The first program, Recovering from Divorce, is for those that are struggling with the challenges and realities of life after divorce. It is ideal for those that have experienced divorce within the last five years. However, it is great for anyone who is struggling with the pain and confusion of life after divorce.

The second program, Rebuilding after Divorce, is designed as a follow-on to the Recovering program. It helps those Catholics that have recovered from divorce to rebuild their life based on core Catholic principles. This program will be released before the end of 2015.

For more information on these programs, go to www.divorcedcatholic.org.

Take The Next Step

In order to make sure you stay connected to everything I do and offer, why not subscribe to my blog? It’s fast, easy, and you can unsubscribe at any time. Best of all, I have a special gift when you subscribe. (Click here to find out more.)

Yes, you can recover from divorce and claim the abundant life God created you to live. All it takes is the intention and someone to guide you. If you’ll provide the first, I’ll provide the second. Let’s get started!

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

2 thoughts on “START HERE

  1. I would like to start a ministry at my church for divorced Catholics, but I am not sure where to start. Can you help me with some suggestions on how to get started with this? Thank you for your time.

    • Beth,

      Thanks for your inquiry. I would suggest you attend the free Facilitator’s Training on divorcedcatholic.com that is being held on May 6th at 12pm EDT. This one hour online workshop will detail everything you need to do to start a divorce support group in your parish. Check it out at: divorcedcatholic.com/workshops

      God bless,
      Vince