Cursed

During a recent all-day workshop, I had repeated often my view that if one had to go through a divorce, it was a blessing to be Catholic. My point was that our Catholic faith offers so much hope and healing, particularly through the Sacraments, that to have to go through a divorce without them makes the […]

Set Apart

“This feels like a death,” I distinctly remember telling my mother on a very cold, and very lonely, November day, shortly after my divorce was filed. A divorce is a death—the death of a marriage. And with it comes all the same feelings of grief that are associated with a physical death. And like a […]

Too Cool

Recently, I was on a flight to New York. I was sitting in an aisle seat. The middle seat was empty, and a young woman was sitting in the window seat. She caught my attention because she was what I would call “edgy.” She was dressed very flashy, had a purple streak dyed into her […]

Love Never Fails

“My daughter wants nothing to do with me.” John said with a quiver in his voice and tears welling up in his eyes. John proceeded to tell me how his kids had become alienated from him because of his divorce. His phone calls went unanswered, and his texts were never returned. He was hurting, and […]

Swimming Upstream

I remember as a kid, my brother and I went rafting down a river by our house. We played this game where we would take turns going down this particular stretch of rapids in a raft. I would jump in the water, grab the rope, and navigate the raft through the rapids while my brother […]

Checking the Box

One day, shortly after I had started my annulment process, I was outside doing yard work. My thoughts drifted to the annulment and how I was anxiously anticipating its completion. I remember thinking that I was looking forward to getting my annulment so “I could meet someone more loving and more ’together’ than my ex.” […]

Angels

“If God really loves me, where is he now when I need him the most?” That was the thought that ran through my mind often during those first weeks and months when my divorce hit. Sure, I read over and over in the Gospels how God will never abandon me. How even the hairs on […]

Make It Right

Marriages are supposed to be for life. That’s how God designed them. Divorce is an obvious sign that something went seriously wrong with that plan. Most divorces don’t happen overnight. It is usually the result of a cumulative series of events. If you are totally honest with yourself, you can see what role you played […]

Camera Roll

Recently, I was digging through the camera roll on my iPad. I was trying to find a picture of one of my daughters when she was young to post on my Facebook page. For some crazy reason, the camera roll on my iPad has all my pictures going back to 1998 — the dawn of […]

The Path

Life after my divorce was so uncertain and disorienting. So much had changed. Most of the familiar routines, people, and traditions disappeared. My life felt awkward, almost alien. It really was as if I had been dropped onto Mars. I spent most of my energy numbly fumbling around trying to make sense of the my new life’s landscape. I […]