Marriages are supposed to be for life. That’s how God designed them. Divorce is an obvious sign that something went seriously wrong with that plan. Most divorces don’t happen overnight. It is usually the result of a cumulative series of events. If you are totally honest with yourself, you can see what role you played in your marriage’s demise. Even if it was relatively small, what you did–or didn’t do–had some impact.
While it may be too late to save your marriage, it is never too late to take accountability. First, acknowledge what you did wrong before God, preferably in confession. Then, do whatever you can do to make it right. If you were unfaithful, sincerely apologize and acknowledge the pain you caused. If you abused alcohol, drugs, or pornography, seek help. If you were uninvolved with the kids, get involved. If you were irresponsible with money, try to make financial reparations. If there is a chance you can reconcile, explore it in counseling. Whatever it is, now is always a great time to start to make amends.
Ignoring the past and doing nothing is easy. Making things right can be very difficult and often takes a great deal of humility. It’s up to you. Decide now to end the cycle of pain and despair that comes with divorce, and start writing a new chapter of your life that is sure to have a happy ending.
Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift. – Matthew 5:23-24
Originally posted 2014-09-19 06:00:35.
What if you have done these things and your spouse doesn’t want to try. You have been the fighting for the marriage and he is the one who keeps running from it. I’ve apologized, I’ve seeked counseling for us both and tried everything to help us heal but he says he can’t move past the hurt.
So much of life is beyond our control. Put everything in God’s hands: the pain, the shame, the guilt, the fear, the uncertainty — everything. You may not be able to change your spouse’s heart, but God can. Give this to Him and trust. God’s timing is perfect. In the meantime, live your Catholic faith fully and receive the Eucharist as often as you can. You can also offer up prayer and sacrifice for your spouse and ask God to soften his heart. Very powerful combination.
Live Abundantly,
Vince