We all know someone who we would consider a fanatic. Someone who is consumed with a sports team, or a particular brand of car, or shoes, or clothes, or making money. Whatever their infatuation, it defines them. They are known by it. They are the Red Sox freak, or the Mercedes guy, or the Prada […]
“I can’t take it anymore!” were the words that tumbled out of my mouth as I sat defeated in front of a very young-looking priest. I had really been suffering from the new reality of my divorce. Well, what I heard next shocked me. He said, “Your suffering is actually helping you heal from your […]
During a recent all-day workshop, I had repeated often my view that if one had to go through a divorce, it was a blessing to be Catholic. My point was that our Catholic faith offers so much hope and healing, particularly through the Sacraments, that to have to go through a divorce without them makes the […]
“This feels like a death,” I distinctly remember telling my mother on a very cold, and very lonely, November day, shortly after my divorce was filed. A divorce is a death—the death of a marriage. And with it comes all the same feelings of grief that are associated with a physical death. And like a […]
Recently, I was on a flight to New York. I was sitting in an aisle seat. The middle seat was empty, and a young woman was sitting in the window seat. She caught my attention because she was what I would call “edgy.” She was dressed very flashy, had a purple streak dyed into her […]
“My daughter wants nothing to do with me.” John said with a quiver in his voice and tears welling up in his eyes. John proceeded to tell me how his kids had become alienated from him because of his divorce. His phone calls went unanswered, and his texts were never returned. He was hurting, and […]
I remember as a kid, my brother and I went rafting down a river by our house. We played this game where we would take turns going down this particular stretch of rapids in a raft. I would jump in the water, grab the rope, and navigate the raft through the rapids while my brother […]
One day, shortly after I had started my annulment process, I was outside doing yard work. My thoughts drifted to the annulment and how I was anxiously anticipating its completion. I remember thinking that I was looking forward to getting my annulment so “I could meet someone more loving and more ’together’ than my ex.” […]
“If God really loves me, where is he now when I need him the most?” That was the thought that ran through my mind often during those first weeks and months when my divorce hit. Sure, I read over and over in the Gospels how God will never abandon me. How even the hairs on […]
Marriages are supposed to be for life. That’s how God designed them. Divorce is an obvious sign that something went seriously wrong with that plan. Most divorces don’t happen overnight. It is usually the result of a cumulative series of events. If you are totally honest with yourself, you can see what role you played […]